[ P ] where there is a will, there's a way

Grigori's brows furrowed as he listened. Can one truly join an army with the purpose of avoiding any killing? It seems inevitable. Was Aryth the one who's too idealistic now, or has he already thought of this? "But ye might have to kill. Either to stay alive, or to fulfill orders you couldn't ignore without forsaking yer motives." There he was, disagreeing again so quickly. But.. it was different, wasn't it? He merely pointed out obstacles, instead of saying Aryth is wrong. It's different, or at least he hoped so. The idea that joining Jacob was any safer than getting involved with the Voxi also wasn't something he could quite agree on, but he decided to hold back and comment on this. At any rate, the intent behind this choice spoke to him more. "I thought 'bout that a lot too, y'know. Keepin' myself safe for yer sake. That's why I decided not to fight just because of my temper anymore." Perhaps Aryth would recall that hungry wolf who once tried to take food from them. That was the first time.. As if to spite him, the world was now full of other reasons that might force him to fight.

What does he want to do? It'd be much easier to say what he didn't want to do. He didn't want to stay on the side that would accuse his husband of treason. And.. "I couldn't face ye if I hid while ye put yerself on the line for yer country." But Grigori didn't care about Rionnach the way Aryth did. The country was important to him - but only for the fact that it was important to Aryth. Of course, he'd help a struggling wolf in front of him if he could, but it wasn't important to him to try to make the country a better place - so long as it was comfortable enough for them as a family. "...I want ye to be able to return to doin' what ye love. To the college. And right, only one outcome of the war allows that, doesn't it?" He didn't truly want to join Jacob's side. He didn't want to fight the imperial soldiers after getting to know them. But he couldn't just wait and hope things all sort themselves out on their own. "I don't know anythin' 'bout advisin' chieftains, and I don't think I can be convinced these Voxi ideas could work out in practice even if ye are convinced, but I do want to help ye, too. However I can." Good thing this wasn't a job interview, it was unlikely he'd convince many with such shaky proposal. "I also want to be near ye. Plain and simple." Saying that, he smiled at the other male, if only briefly.

"And...listen, if yer tryin' to keep me away from killin' for my sake.. don't. I will do it if I have to. Whether ye want me to or not, even. To keep us safe, or if it seems better than not doin' it. I... I'd rather do it than let someone who's never done it, anyway." He could handle that burden. He had the support of a loving husband and he's accepted himself. Not everyone is so fortunate. There are always regrets but.. death deserves regret. "It is... one of the things I'm good at. There's no point denyin' it." Anything can be used for good or for wrong. With some skills.. you just have to be more careful.

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