[ P ] silver lining

Lilac eyes ringed with silver were wide with awe at the scenery that he had discovered beyond the trees. It held the same air of magical beauty that the mirror lake captured within its crystal waters. Atlas’ first thought was that it was a hidden area of maiden’s braid that he had unwittingly wandered into, perhaps a secret place that lovers shared stolen kisses under the moonlight. The thought made his ears grow warm. Ever since he had crossed the border and met Raith he found himself daydreaming about what it would be like to date someone. He had never been interested before, happy enough with his books and few friends that he was close with.

He crouched down by the water, dipping his front paws in the water and letting out a frustrated sigh. He felt like he had lost something and he still didn't understand if it had been anything in the first place. Why did he do that? Atlas didn't understand and the less he understood the more he wanted to hope that he wasn't the only one struggling. There wasn't a book that could tell him what it was that he needed to know and he was too embarrassed to ask Lenora or Lyra for advice. It wasn't like he could tell either of them that he had crossed the border.

He’d already been scolded in class for not paying attention which wasn't like him at all. The professor's words had become a distant droning in the background while the same unanswered questions bounced around his restless mind. Nothing had changed when he’d left his dorm in the middle of the night to clear his head because he couldn't sleep. It was only then that he realised he couldn't possibly be in maiden’s braid because it would have taken him all night to travel there and he hadn't walked far enough to get there.

Burning the midnight oil

code // art

RAITH SAMAIRE
Temperance is my virtue

Over and over again, he found himself restless, feeling a bit guilty about so many different things that he couldn’t seem to focus on any one thing. It kept him up all night. He knew he didn’t sleep well alone but now that he was nearly an adult he couldn’t exactly crawl into his parent’s den anymore to seek the piece of comfort his mother in particular offered. Not that she would likely tell him off, he knew his father would be disapproving of him evading their personal space. Though he didn’t fully understand it, he did his best to respect it as he closed his eyes and tried to ignore the howling winds outside of his own den. He’d let out a small shiver to the touch of snow that funneled down from the entrance, speckling his coat with a light dusting that made the storm seem tame.

His eyes would open again and time must have passed far quicker than he realized as his face was fully decorated in a sheet of white and he let out a small huff to free his nose of ice. A glare touched his eyes at the increasing noise that the winds bellowed above, though his vision was clouded from the mist of his own breath. Worry would crease his brow as his thoughts went to Searla, causing him to rise to his paw, shuffling out of his den with much effort in the matter. Pawing at the snow, he would eventually escape from his own and started to limp over toward hers, though he had little expectation of her being there. The struggle to traverse the terrain was exhausting him as he felt his heart quicken at the lack of visibility increasing by the second.

Then suddenly, it was warm.

The snow became mist and foliage.

He paused in surprise, wondering where he even was for a moment but it was like no place he had ever been. It felt as magical as the stones, that same easing aura that would surround him there. Had he walked into a fae portal? If that was the case, why did they take him here? He wanted to find answers and reason but would put his mental inquiries on hold as he headed further into the heat away from where he had come.

In silence he would keep walking, glancing around with no clear direction to go. “Searla?” he whispered for his sister, hoping out of anyone he might run into that it would be her. Her scent was nowhere, no familiar scents hung on the air in truth. His tail would give a gentle sway as his toes touched water. He couldn’t tell if this was a dream or reality but what he could make out was that it was something mystical. Without any caution, he would wade into the water, swimming calmly, used to therapy that Stellaluna insisted he do to strengthen his leg. Maybe this pool could heal him.

Please great fae and the goddesses, mend me.

code by claerie

The warmth of the waters lapping at his toes soothed Atlas’ anxious thoughts enough for curiosity to bloom in its place. There was no logical theory that could explain how he’d ended up here or if there was then it remained beyond his understanding. It was far too memorable for him not to have happened upon it if it really was only a short walk from his dorms. Such were the thoughts that drifted through his mind as he watched his face dancing in the clear waters, a crease wrinkling between his eyes and hardening his plush features.

A splashing sound in the waters snapped him out of his daze and he almost fell in when he saw just who it was that made the noises. Somehow he and Raith had happened upon the same place. His snowy ears lowered slightly when he remembered how Raith had told him to go and not look back. As confused he was about his actions it was his words that left little room for doubt. Raith hadn't wanted to see him again. This hard truth forced him to push aside his daydreams for now… at least until his resolve faltered again. “Mr Samaire. What are you doing here?” He greeted him as politely and coolly as an acquaintance would even though he wanted to be closer to him. It was his tail that betrayed him in the end. It happily swayed upon laying eyes on him. Such feelings were just asking for trouble. He knew that if Raith looked at him it would make him waver again. His heart and his brain were at odds more and more lately.

Burning the midnight oil

code // art

RAITH SAMAIRE
Temperance is my virtue

His ears would perk up at the sound of someone else approaching, causing his head to turn toward the direction the water rippled from that wasn’t caused by his own tail. Trailing his gaze up the way, soon he would see a face he thought he would never see again and surprise gripped him tightly as he dramatically blinked as if to try and get the figure to vanish from his vision. That pale complexion never left this reality, if it was real at all as he tilted his head slightly to the side, as if it might cause the illusion to shatter before him. A mere play with the light bouncing off the fog, perhaps perspective was all he needed for it to end.

The figure would speak, making him take in a staggered breath before looking around the lagoon again before turning his focus back onto Atlas. “Raith. Just Raith,” he interjected, not particularly liking the whole mister thing that kept being said since it made him think of his father more so. It was uncomfortable for him though it didn’t really show in his mannerisms, having a lack of emotion as usual. His thoughts on the matter would quickly fade when he noticed the tail that wagged so enthusiastically, as if the other was extremely happy to see him.

He studied the other in silence for a moment before starting to move toward him, disturbing the pristine water all the more until he reached Atlas. “The fae brought me here and it seems they desire us together again. This time they granted you with the isolation you sought last time,” he replied easily, not a hint of joking upon those lyrics for he truly believed such a thing. It wasn’t by chance, he saw no point in trying to scare him out of this place when this place was not one to walk into by accident, in his own eyes. There must be a purpose as to why they found each other again, he knew it.

He would not stop once he reached Atlas, no, he would continue on past him and round him if the other didn’t turn to follow his movements. He was far too focused on that wagging tail, gently nipping at it to call him out on it. If he was lucky, he would have caught the tail between his teeth and gently tugged on it, his own tail giving a couple gentle sways in turn eagerly.

code by claerie

Atlas watched him process his presence, blinking rapidly as if he expected him to disappear into the mist like a phantom. He had been equally surprised to see the fox furred highlander bathing in the lagoon. All of it seemed a little too intentional for it to be a mere circumstance. The young academic had always placed more faith in science than magic yet he couldn't deny that something mysterious had brought them both here. Something that couldn't be defined by logic or reason.

A ghost of a smile softened the edges of his neutral expression when Raith tilted his head in confusion. It was easy for him to find mild amusement in his confusion as he watched it all unfold, relieved that his floundering and almost-face-full of lagoon water had happened when he was distracted. Atlas didn't want to be seen as clumsy and foolish in Raith's eyes. He wanted to appear as mature and reliable though whether he had either of those qualities was questionable to him.

”Raith. Just Raith,” He insisted and then it was Atlas’ turn to cock his head. “But that's-” he struggled to form his reluctance into words that would make sense. “Very personal,” he finally murmured. There was once a time when Atlas had happily used first names and considered every positive encounter a new friendship. A fear of attachment had closed him off little by little when his parents moved to the Highlands and again when his brother disappeared from his life. Sienna, too, was another who faded from his grasp like grains of sand. That attachment was already forming towards Raith even with the wall that he had tried and failed to keep between. We likely won't meet again. He thought, trying to impress that thought as a firm barrier between them.

Raith explained that it had been the fae’s plan to make this encounter happen and Atlas found himself nodding along as it made more sense than his other theories. His head jerked to a stop and he bashfully looked away when Raith made a reference to their last meeting. His ears perked up in realisation when he recalled the promise he had made and decided that that was the perfect excuse to change the subject, albeit only slightly. “Perhaps they wanted me to discuss my findings with you?” he suggested, purple-silver eyes curious and genuine as he believed it to be the truth. “From what I understand there are many different kinds of fae. Brownies are little creatures that live in our homes. They like to come out at night while the residents are sleeping and if an offering of food is left for them they will take care of chores. The book said that they can be mischievous if someone offends them. Giving them a gift of a pelt will banish them forever,” he recited what he had read, looking over at Raith to see if what he had said was familiar. “But the most useful piece of information I discovered was about the Seelie Court. Do they sound familiar? They're a group of good fairies that want to help wolves. Then there's the Unseelie Court. They're composed of all the wicked fairies that want to do us harm. I don't know if any of that is fact or fiction, but I know about more kinds of fae if it isn't helpful to you,” he explained, that familiar thoughtful scowl lining his brow.

His feet shuffled restlessly when Raith circled around him and he wondered what he was looking for. Too late did he realise that his tail had been very honest about his happiness and Raith had noticed that. “Please ignore that,” he sighed, hoping Raith wasn't offended by his enthusiasm. When teeth caught his tail his body jolted jn alarm, but still it tried to twitch even caught in Raith's jaws. “R-Raith?” he blurted out, surprised and flustered by the attention that was being drawn to his overly honest tail. So surprised that he didn't realise he had called him by his first name.

Burning the midnight oil

code // art

RAITH SAMAIRE
Temperance is my virtue

The other boy seemed to have a mind that never stopped moving, which was tiring just to look at for too long, wearing he could see the wrinkles form along the other’s visage by the passing second. When conversation picked up, those thoughts would quickly fade as well, allowing his mind to swim in whatever valley they were creating with words. A brow would raise when the other seemed so defeated by the concept of using a birth name, making him wonder if it was some odd Mainlander thing but then wouldn’t all of them have called him by his surname? The other didn’t make any sense at all but he wasn’t going to try to work out the puzzle that was what they each preferred. His own desires should matter more since it was his name, it made him regret ever even giving him the rest. “Just a name, like Atlas,” he reinforced, since the other never corrected him to call him by anything different. What was the difference?

An ear fell when the other suddenly started to prattle on about books as the reason for this encounter, not finding that unreasonable but he felt like books wouldn’t tell him more than he already knew. He would not stop him as he started to talk of different kinds of Fae, causing him to nod here and there but his gaze was mostly void, admittedly not able to concentrate about all that stuff here. Normally fae were the one thing that could hold his attention more than anything else, they were his life. Every fragment of his existence was orchestrated by them and yet almost every word went in one ear and out the other. Brownies. Seelie Courts. That was about the most that he picked up, his mind feeling increasingly foggy like the air around them.

His focus was far more on Atlas, watching his face and each subtle movement. Observing how ghostly his eyes were, much like a few others he had met. They were pretty though he remembered them being far harsher last time. That tail would become his bigger focus yet, though, as he migrated past him to get to his rump. The ashamed pleading. For not wanting it to gain attention, he sure did nothing to hide it from him and he took full advantage of that.

The chomp wasn’t nearly as aggressive as it might have been had it been their first encounter. He was far more playful as he watched Atlas lose any cool he might have had, bringing forth an amused chuckle from his own throat as his name was sputtered out. It certainly was a lot nicer than hearing his surname. He would abruptly pounce on Atlas, more so to stand over him with his muzzle pressed between his shoulder blades. “Still have less survival instincts than prey,” he huffed playfully but with a hint of a growl.

code by claerie

He lifted his head, ears twitching uncomfortably as he thought about how he would explain his reason for his insistence on formalities when he himself did not require it from others. Atlas couldn't deny that hearing his name spoken by Raith was pleasing to his ears and part of him wished to call Raith’s name without hesitation. It had become a habit to force distance between others and he had been looked upon as being odd for his peculiar habit. It was more common among nobles to call each other by their titles and surnames as a sign of respect and he had admired how dignified it was. They didn't seem like the types of wolves who bared their hearts so readily to others and let themselves get hurt. But Atlas was still Atlas even if he changed his habits. His heart was easily swayed by emotions and his affection was given even if it wasn't returned. It makes it harder to say goodbye,” he finally said, lifting an orange paw to rub self consciously at his nose. He was well aware that this meeting was because of the grace of the fae and once it was over Raith’s interest in his company might disappear just like the way the mist faded into the wind.

Atlas felt more at ease when he was reciting passages from the books he had read about the fae. It provided him a distraction from the feelings that had driven his mind into a frenzy as of late. He felt confident when discussing his research, his eyes lit up and his voice carried a passion that filled the normally quieter tones with life. Only he didn't realise that while he was in the midst of his speech that red eyes were watching him for an entirely different reason than interest in the fae. It was the speaker and not the words that were being admired. Silence followed his explanation and he looked up at Raith, purple-silver eyes meeting his gaze in hopes of something a glimmer of approval for his hard work. Raith’s gaze was vacant of any such emotions as if his mind had drifted away at some point during Atlas’ discussion. He felt a pang of disappointment and his face showed it briefly before attention moved on to his tail.

He felt the tugging of his tail and teeth that lightly pinched the skin even as it continued to try to wag. It reminded him of games that he would play with his siblings when they were young. While it was embarrassing to have his emotions revealed so easily he didn't mind because he heard Raith laugh again. Once more the tips of his ears grew pink with embarrassment and a bashful smile surfaced upon hearing that chuckle. Ending up in the water with Raith standing over him shouldn't have surprised him, but it did. Raith was a lot more mischievous than his stoic features suggested, but Atlas knew and it made him feel giddy as if he knew a secret that no one else did.

Raith's muzzle tickling his back was very distracting. The mist that unfurled around them was making his head swim with the thoughts that he had tried to ignore. I don't need them with you,” he pointed out, unwittingly admitting to how much he trusted the highlander. Once more he felt himself wishing that Raith would lick him again and he felt heat flush through his face because of those thoughts.

Caterpillars typically live between two to five weeks after hatching. After hatching the caterpillar eats its own egg and feasts on leaves until it is ready to pupate. he mentally recited a random passage from one of his favourite books about butterflies in an effort to calm himself down.

Burning the midnight oil

code // art

RAITH SAMAIRE
Temperance is my virtue

He was anticipating some peculiar reason from a different land, if he had to guess at all why someone would insist on doing one thing but he wasn’t met with that answer. Ears would twitch as rubies clung to Atlas, his head tilting with an increasing sense of further misunderstanding. Easier to say goodbye? That thought rooted for a long few moments, trying to shake it as he stood there and pondered why that would matter. Saying goodbye had never been a thing he really ever had to think about, not really having friends or those outside his home he had to lose for extended periods of time. They came and went, just as he did, both expecting the other’s return without a word. Those he met outside of the camp or from his birthplace never stuck around so he never really grew attached to them, a growl more commonly the parting gift he was granted over a farewell.

So why? Why would that be on Atlas' mind at all? He could liken it to being overly attached but he couldn’t think of anything that would make the other attached to him. It was rather peculiar behavior and thought process or maybe he just wasn’t normal himself. All he ever had to care about was his family and pleasing the fae. They were nothing alike. What he understood about what a lawyer was, Atlas seemed his entire opposite, seeking the company of strangers and their problems. While Raith only did such things if he believed the fae wished him to help someone in some way. Like Blythe, though he had failed her swiftly. He still didn’t understand her reaction nearly a year later.

Then there was his sister who didn’t really count on being a case from the fae. Roisin was his blood and he would have helped her even if he didn’t think those messages had anything to do with her.

Taking in a breath, he found no more answers than he had started with in these ruminating thoughts and perhaps that should have agitated him and made him ask more questions but instead he simply nodded as if he did understand for now. A different day might not be the same, he might be far more eager for more detailed answers but this lagoon seemed to calm that voice in his head.

The pounce had been plenty successful as the other boy crashed into the water, making him twitch his tail with a wave of victory though it remained fairly modest compared to anyone that would brag an accomplishment. His target wasn’t even really moving, even an infant could have taken him down and there the boy was giving him another peculiar answer. That amusement settled as his form pressed a bit into the cream male, nose pressing firmer into a white nape as he thought for a moment or two but instead of racing for an answer of his own he would gently breathe out his thoughts. “Why wouldn’t you? What is special about me, Atlas, that your defenses always unravel for me and you let me do everything I want? My family would say you are my enemy and that I should kill you...so, shouldn't I be your enemy?” He should be scared of him, scared of what might happen to him when no one was here to keep him safe.

code by claerie

After a long period of thoughtful silence Atlas found himself itching to know what thoughts were swimming around behind those mysterious scarlet eyes. Raith was far better at hiding his emotions than Atlas even as he tried to keep the wall firmly in place to protect himself; it might as well have been made of sand against the tidal wave of emotions that Raith triggered within him. Atlas thought that it was his own sentimentality getting the better of him again especially when he knew that he would have to say goodbye sooner or later. If only he was more like his father or Lenora then he wouldn't let himself grow fond of people who were fated to leave him behind.

Such melancholic musings were quickly banished when they tumbled into the water to be replaced by other concerns. Confusion made his brow furrow as his cottony ears lowered at hearing such negativity coming from the one he wanted to be liked by. It was a fact that they came from opposite sides of the border and their families were loyal to enemy kings, I don't believe the world is that black and white. There's good and bad on both sides,” he voiced his beliefs, squirming slightly when a nose tickled the back of his neck. I think you’re one of the good ones. You didn't hurt me before and you let me go so I trust you,” he mumbled the last part of the sentence into his paw out of embarrassment, but it was still clear enough to be understood.

One realisation that buzzed in his mind like static was if Raith really did hate him. There was no reason for him to make an exception for Atlas just because he trusted him. It wasn't like he had done anything remarkable to suddenly change Raith’s mind about Royalists or Mainlanders.

Do you… hate me?” Atlas asked, turning his head to look Raith in the eyes. His purple-silver gaze reflected a silent sadness that had replaced the shining curiosity over time, dulling the light within his once bright eyes.

Burning the midnight oil

code // art

RAITH SAMAIRE
Temperance is my virtue

His ears flicked, not wholly dismissing the other male as quickly as he had before, gaze glossing over him with the slight twitch of his tail. Tongue ran along the roof of his mouth in thought, even knowing the fae to be viewed as a mixture of good and bad depending on who was looking or what sprite came forth to greet them. His elder brother was a haunting memory of not knowing if the purpose was something he should have accepted as he did or if he should have shied away from it entirely as if it were a fiend just trying to ruin their lives and the subtle peace that had briefly enveloped the family upon his mother’s return. It was all confusing, but he had always believed the fae to be more so helpers than mischievous little imps like his family seemed to. If they were who gave them the world, could alter things so drastically, shouldn’t they be seen as something positive rather than terrifying?

A sigh escaped him, not convinced one way or the other at the moment, his thoughts too diluted by what Atlas had said. Maybe they were in fact both good and bad, a scale of grey just like the world they dwelled in. Though the words that followed about him being one of the good would cause him to come to full attention and out of his confused thoughts, fully taking them in. Trust, could trust be so easily granted when he felt like he had done such little to ever be awarded such a thing? “Untrue. I had hurt you…” he argued calmly, recalling grabbing the other and smashing him into the ground before doing much of anything else. Was that really something to call good? At the same time, one could just say he was doing his job first and foremost, doing what was expected of him before shying back after some assessment of his own doing.

Atlas wasn’t dangerous, he had concluded that much. Yet, his crimsons danced away from him, thinking in wonder if that was a ploy all along. He didn’t wish to believe that, but he knew Roisin would likely claim that, recalling what she had said when he asked if all Mainlanders were evil. There was no doubt in his mind that to appease those around him more so than this boy, he’d have to spit on him and leave. Thing was, he didn’t want to and why stop being his own being now after already rejecting things he used to believe were his future. He wasn’t the entirely selfless child he once was.

“I… like you, Atlas,” he said bluntly, assuring him no hate was there as his nose gently brushed a pale cheek and his tail gave a couple friendly sways out of a conscious decision.

code by claerie