[ P ] Just know that I'll make you hurt

Darkness had closed around her thoughts, a thick miasma that seemed to cloud not only her brain but her vision as she wandered without thought. She had lost track of him for a time, one day she woke up and he was not there. She waited for him, did not move from the small space they had shared for days, and yet.. A sign escaped her lips as she finally allowed her eyes to see the world around her, the thick brambles and thorned bushes of rose. This place, how lovely it would have been to share with another and yet all she could think about was them. No matter how loyal she was, it would seem that she was never enough for either of them. The colors here are vibrant, the scent heady, and yet she can only think of him. How the wisteria blossoms closely match his eyes, and this is maddening. A snarl bubbles from her chest as she shows her teeth at the faintly purple flowers, her anger and depression spilling over. And that's when she snaps and attacks the twisting wisteria, ripping at the branches, causing petals to scatter and coat her pale tan fur. @Sinclair

don't you know too much already

I'LL ONLY HURT YOU IF YOU LET ME

Sincliar had broken his promise to stay and now the guilt was eating away at him. He'd run from Lye, he'd run from Sindri, and what had that gotten him? Nothing.

He'd spent his whole life running and he had nothing but an aching emptiness in his heart to show for it. He'd let down his family, his friends, his pack...everyone. So what was one more, he thought.

Well he was tired of being alone and tired of running. So he decided to return, if she would let him. Sinclair came closer, hearing the growls and rustles and growing curious. "Sindri?" he said as he stepped into view. She looked furious and he could only imagine why. Was it he who sparked this anger in her; this blind rage? The void in his chest fluttered at the sight of it and he came closer, his head slightly lowered and ears tilted back. Tail drawn out behind him, he ruffled his nape and wrinkled his muzzle ever so slightly. "Is that meant to be me?" he asked. Had he truly hurt her by leaving or was she angry about something else?

sinclair

coax

Petals of the palest lavender, the darkest violet, and all of those in between rained down and clung to her sand colored coat. The thick vines snapped and tore, and nothing was safe from this all-consuming pit of darkness that was threatening to overtake her heart. Promises seemed to mean nothing to those she loved, and yet she gave them her word to stay by their side. Why, why, why? Why did she do this to herself? What was wrong with her? He was the only one she had admitted to what she had done, how her hate consumed her and caused her to attack. Did he think she had told anyone else? Did he think she was just trying to make him feel better and not her own confession of darkness and rage? Sindri? Her name came from the source of her anger and grief, and all she could do was stiffen. Her assault on the innocent vines ceased, and blossoms cascaded down and around them. Her hears pinned to her skull, and she lowered her heads position, it was as if she was readying for a fight. Slowly, the flower clad woman turned, and one might think the movement akin to someone in a horror film. Golden eyes flashed as they landed on the target of her someone she tried to give her all to, jer loyalty, her care, her secrets. After everything, he still left her side and disappeared without so much as a goodbye. Is that meant to be me? A bitter laugh escaped her then. How did he know? Maybe he felt the loss too, maybe he came back because he missed her? "Maybe... after all, you left me after saying you would stay, after I told you my secret. Do i meam that little to you? She snarled, the bridge of her nose wrinkling as she lowered her head further. Pale tan hackles rose as she narrowed her eyes, and that was when she launched for him. With teeth flashing, she aimed at anything she could grab.

don't you know too much already

I'LL ONLY HURT YOU IF YOU LET ME

The look in her vibrant yellow eyes was something he'd never seen before. A burning rage that turned her sunsets into fire if he could equate them to anything at all. Sinclair glanced down, feeling the shame of having left her behind creeping up inside.

"Maybe... after all, you left me after saying you would stay, after I told you my secret. Do i meam that little to you?" "No, I--"

But it was too late for excuses, he realized. He heard movement and looked up in time for her teeth to clash with his neck. He stumbled on impact and lost his footing, falling to the ground beneath her with her jaws still intact. The pressure of her bite was enough to draw blood and it poured from the wound at first like wine. Crimson matted his black fur and he gasped for air as she squeezed round his windpipe.

As their bodies fell together, her smaller figure draped across him. "Sindri!" he exclaimed, though his voice was raspy with the effort needed to speak. She had never attacked him and it was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. That familiar tingling filled him from the points where her teeth sunk into his flesh and his ears folded against his skull in mild embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I was just trying to... to protect you..." he wheezed. No... he wasn't. "No... I'm just a coward," he admitted.

sinclair

coax

He started his excuse bit it had been too late for words, her teeth connected as she launched without warning. It was a surprise for him not to retaliate, to not fight, but her mind was blind to this as they fell together. Her smaller body draped over him as she left flesh tear by her fangs, the taste of bright copper pennies on her tongue pushing her forward. She bit down with a snarl, cutting off his words for a moment as he yelled her name. Fire burned in her eyes, the flames licking at her heart and lungs as she held back the tears that wished to douse the inferno. She blinked a few times but only ended up growling at the words he spoke. He was protecting her. Oh, that just made things worse, and at that word, the growl grew. She bit down harder only to let up slightly at saying he was a coward, as if to say go on. Thay sweet little healer that he had first met was gone, she had drown a long time ago, parts of her was left but right now, right now she did not exist. So he was a coward. She still wanted to hear more, and for that, she loosened her grip. Only enough to allow him to talk, nothing more.

don't you know too much already

I'LL ONLY HURT YOU IF YOU LET ME

Sinclair was not afraid to die, in fact he had begged Sindri once to end him but she'd refused. Now, with her jaws wrapped around his neck, he wondered if she'd oblige him. Had he pushed her over the edge like he'd been pushed, so many times before? He wondered, did she had a dark side lurking just beneath the surface... watching and waiting to get out whenever it could? A monster not so different from himself.

As he struggled to breath, the tingling traveled down his neck and along his back, extending into his extremities. Only when she released the pressure did the tingling begin to ebb. He gulped the air greedily before speaking again, with her remaining where she was. His paws wrapped around her neck and he stared off into the forest, for he could not look her in the eye at this angle. "I'm a coward, Sindri. Afraid to get too close to anyone for fear I'll kill them too. Just like I killed my mother, just like I almost killed Lye... I thought I was helping those I left but I was only hurting them... and myself." He closed his eyes as he felt moisture forming round the edges. When had been the last time he cried? He couldn't remember ever having done so, but the wave of emotion as he remembered his mother, Lye, and what she'd done after him leaving was all too much to bear apparently. It had been eating away at him for some time now. He'd found respite in another's arms but that had been fleeting and in the end, pointless. If one did not truly care for him then what was it all for?

"Lye remarried. I've lost her and the kids forever. Faina is dead." he nearly sobbed now, but he was managing to hold it in as hot tears rolled upwards and back into his eyes, stinging them even worse than before. He hated this miserably feeling. "Have I lost you too?"

sinclair

coax

Her eyes were burning and this time it was not just the flames that licjed at her heart and soul. She tried to blink them away, the water that wished to douse the rage, but it seemed impossible. His paws wrapped around her neck as if to embrace her as he made his confession, about how much of a coward he really was. She gave a weak growl as her gripped loosened further, was she his last resort? He mentioned the woman she had loved, and then the woman she had felt threatened by. They were lost to him, was that why he turned to her? After all these years of being loyal and by his side? His voice was thick, and it was not blood but emotion, more than she had ever heard. Tears had started to slip down her face as she closed those molten bright eyes. Had he lost her too? No, he never would. No matter that she was his last choice, he only turned to her because every one else was gone. Her gripped slipped, and her fangs were replaced by her tongue. She helped soothe the pain she caused without words, the sweet metallic flavor of his blood a balm as she allowed him to move away. Should he wish to..

don't you know too much already

I'LL ONLY HURT YOU IF YOU LET ME

He had always cared for Sindri in his own way; the loyal healer would always carry a place in his heart and whether she believed it or not he had not returned because she was the only one left. She was not a last choice, despite being a last comfort for him. He had returned because he'd thought he'd try to be loyal to someone else for a change again and see where it had gotten him. His episodes were far and few in between and perhaps the monster he was had fled him altogether. Perhaps she would be safe... there was only one way to find out and while it put her in danger he was almost certain she could handle it. Sindri had never shied away from him, even when he'd told her his biggest secret, she'd carried one just the same. She was a monster, all the same.

The wetness of her tears could be felt on his neck as they cascaded down her face and he had to close his eyes to stop his own. Finally, she released him and brushed her tongue across the wound in a soothing way. He opened his eyes, twitching at the touch slightly as pain lanced through his body with each brush.

He lifted a paw to her chin so that he could tilt her head up and look her in those sunrise eyes. He was free from the shackles placed around his neck by Lye, and while he felt guilt that others had helped him see that now, it was Sindri who he'd returned to in the bitter end. "I came back because I'm tired of running. If you think you can handle me at my worst then do it." he growled softly. He didn't give her a chance to speak before he kissed her.

sinclair

coax

The moisture that rolled down her cheeks was unwelcome, it doused the anger that had been smoldering she had closed her bright eyes, as if to hide from the wood as she did as a small child when her mother first abandoned her. That is until his inky paw touched her chin and put pressure to lift her face up, and she did not fight the repositioning. Eyes of sunlight opened to look into those of amethyst both their gazes held tears and emotion that they rarely showed. She stared, almost not believing what she saw there, the rawness of- she was not quite sure what that was. She could only remember any glances like that being reserved the woman they both had loved. Lye. I came back because I'm tired of running. If you think you can handle me at my worst then do it. Wait, what? His words had barely registered before his lips were colliding with her own, he was accepting her? "Do your worst." She murmured as she fell into the embraced he offered, willing to take what he thought was unacceptable by anyone.

[ mature content ahead ]

don't you know too much already

I'LL ONLY HURT YOU IF YOU LET ME

"Do you worst," she breathed as she fell into his embrace. A growl rumbled in his chest as he held her there for a moment, tenderly at first, and then his grip tightened somewhat. He would release her only to shove her off him without warning in hopes to knock her back. Then he would rise to his paws and lurch toward her, shoulders drawn and teeth slightly bared. If she landed on her paws he would come to stand beside her and lifted his head so that his muzzle could trail along the back of her neck from her ears down to her shoulders. His breaths were quick, his body hungry for hers.

He hadn't known until now that she could handle it, his violent cravings and frequent outbursts. She had always been the soft, quiet healer. He hadn't paid her a lot of attention in the beginning because of that but she'd crawled her way beneath his skin and now he couldn't get her out.

Sinclair suddenly latched onto her nape with his teeth, digging in roughly enough to draw her blood. He tasted it on his tongue and it was as sweet as he remembered. It had been a long time since he'd taken control in a situation like this but he never forgot how to. It always came rushing back and with it the adrenaline and feeling control, power. Sinclair draped his body over hers and together, they would sink into darkness.

[ fade to black ]

sinclair

coax