Here Comes A Thought

Cordelia

They ran and ran, the wind currents trying to push them back as they headed into the safety of the Highlands, in her blanket of frost and hiding. Fear lined their eyes, adrenaline eating away at their heart and it pulsed rapidly in their chest, having not taken any breaks the whole time from the castle they barely managed to escape. That rotten man! That rotten soldier! The tears had dried on the voyage but still bled deep in their heart, never having felt like this before.

They were nauseous, feeling a wave roll up from their stomach into their throat as they finally stopped moving and tripping onto the ground. Mud would cake them, spattering along their body where snow used to be. They wanted to cry more but couldn’t, instead their ribs would heave trying to throw up. They were quick to brace themselves, using their forearms to push their upper half from the ground. With a few painful jerks of their body, only a little bile would come up but the pain, everything else would remain. It was nothing compared to what happened to their family. They were all alone, they couldn’t tell Black. They couldn’t do anything and they felt so small as they coiled up on themselves. How would they break them free? Getting out on their own was one thing but they weren’t smart enough to save two others.

Those twin stars long fading from their eyes as they closed them tight, feeling broken from no hope in sight. What purpose was there if there wasn't a family? These were never thoughts they usually had, usually at least someone was at their side. Caspian, Nora, Black, Mom, Dad…

Gritting their teeth, they would push themselves up, feeling like they’d all be angry if they just gave up like this. It probably wasn’t true but they wanted to at least get the ones still alive back. Forcing themselves up, they’d continue to run until a scent would catch their attention. They did have someone after all! Without so much as a second thought, they turned heel to run straight for the owner, nearly crashing into them. “Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaann you were right, Cordie is an idiot!!!” they whimpered, quick to admit they were wrong though giving absolutely no pretense to what they were wrong about. Though it wouldn’t likely take much guessing; gossip of the protest had spread quickly and so did the king's word, far faster than mortal feet could carry.

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@Brann

Brann wandered a little farther from where his family called ‘home’ in a small run-down cottage nestled in the woods, doing his own sort of ‘patrol’ to see the state of Perth around them. So far, no Soldiers had invaded, but it was only a matter of time, this much Brann knew with absolute certainty. His mind had been heavy with thoughts of joining, fully, instead of just supporting, the Jacobian Army since word of the Protests had reached the MacCroin Clan. He remembered back to his father’s last days, how the man had said that war would come to Rionnach again.

It was inevitable, with the Mainlanders forcing their political beliefs on the masses that didn’t agree with them.

The earthen man’s face was pushed into something of a scowl, his head lowered as they surveyed. He turned at the sound of fast-approaching paw steps, fur bristling until a familiar face burst forth before him. He knew, from the look on Cordie’s face that something was wrong. His eyes drifted to the area behind the other, scanning for signs of pursuers. There were none, but Brann could tell that the other had — quite literally — run themselves until they had thrown up, the bitter scent of bile still clinging to them.

“Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaann you were right, Cordie is an idiot!!!” They whimpered. Brann’s ears flickered back slightly.

“Cordie, what happened to you?” Brann asked, voice gruff, but still thick with worry. Had they been involved in the protests? He would have been, but his Mother had asked him to stay close to home, for the sake of their family — they didn’t need their Chieftain maimed, thrown in jail, or worse. He had stayed home because his family had needed him to. But his heart had been with the protestors, and he had felt a wave of rage when he’d heard how the protests had gone — some felled by the soldiers, and the rest taken prisoner.


@Cordelia

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Cordelia

As the man didn’t chase them off and seemed to accept their company, the older wolf would sit down and take in a few breaths, nose scrunching at the remaining sting and bitter vile taste from the bile previously hurled. They would start to pant. Between being exhausted and stressed, it was a miracle they weren’t pancaked on the ground trying to regain some form of balance within themselves but with their front legs slightly splayed, they kept their body from falling over. There would be a little bit of shaking on their extremities, tempted to give into it. They couldn’t seem weaker than they already did even if they tried, it felt like.

The question would make their head tilt up; big eyed and looking so close to crying even if no tears would rim the lower lid in that moment. If the iris moved just enough it was clear they were bloodshot from doing so previously, the faintest shade of pink from irritation making her blues look almost purple. “It doesn’t matter what happened to Cordie. They locked up Caspie and Nowa and threatened to keep sissy forever. Big meanie Joffrey…and and,” they stopped, looking around for a moment, now starting to wonder if the man had followed them here as they noticed Brann checking from where they had come.

He was a giant, it would be hard to miss him and it was that size that had allowed them to get from his grasp in the first place. They knew Joffrey wasn’t actually the man’s name but they couldn’t seem to locate his real one from cadet days.

Calming down some, turning their attention back to Brann, they would try to be less fluffed up as they added onto what they had started to say. “He tried to trick me and attempted to attack me after. Cordie is dumb but not that dumb to fall for his trap to catch me with niceness. He threatened to lock me up with her forever too if he ever caught me just cause Highlanders," they looked over his pretty eyes as they paused for a moment before adding. "I would have accepted the challenge but I didn't wanna stoop to his stinky level. And if I get caught, I’ll be most likely executed for defecting. I couldn’t risk it…can't help them if dead. I-I don’t know what to do, Branny,” they looked down at their muddy paws, wanting to cuddle up to him for comfort but not wanting to cover him in dirt either.

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@Brann

Brann watched as Cordie seated themselves, taking a few breaths as if trying to calm down from whatever had happened. His features set into a hardened look of concern, his brows pulled down heavily over his two-toned eyes, his lips set into a thin line. It was evident just from looking at the other that something had happened, and it wasn’t just a normal excitement that touched them. Deep in his gut, Brann felt an uncomfortable stirring, a touch of anxiety that he wasn’t quite used to beyond his chronic overthinking.

“It doesn’t matter what happened to Cordie. They locked up Caspie and Nowa and threatened to keep sissy forever. Big meanie Joffrey… and, and.” Cordie started, saying names that Brann didn’t quite recognize, but figured that they must be important figures in Cordie’s life. They seemed to notice Brann looking behind them, turning to check in turn.

Brann’s gaze drifted back to Cordie, feeling a twinge for making them uncomfortable. He had to be sure, however, that the other wasn’t being chased without his knowledge — he didn’t want to be blindsided by someone he hadn’t accounted for in the first place. It would be unbefitting of a Cheiftian to fall to such folly.

“He tried to trick me and attempted to attack me after. Cordie is dumb but not that dumb to fall for his trap to catch me with niceness. He threatened to lock me up with her forever too if he ever caught me just cause Highlanders.. I would have accepted the challenge but I didn’t wanna stoop to his stinky level. And if I get caught, I’ll most likely be executed for defecting. I couldn’t risk it… can’t help them if dead. I-I don’t know what to do, Branny,” they said, their eyes drifting down to their paws. Brann frowned slightly.

“They arrested your… family? Were they involved in the protests that I’ve been hearing about?” Brann asked. “Were you involved?”

He needed to understand the whole situation, in order to know what to do.


@Cordelia

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Cordelia

Their ears flicked forward and their head would lift up, looking heartbroken as they did so, finding it interesting how easily he summarized so much into so little. It was effectively condensing, probably better at getting the point across or maybe they just had lost their mind so much from everything else that they just lost every bit of cool they ever had. They recalled a time when anxiety never affected them, when they were a perfect soldier that did what they were told, when they weren't just viewed as a kid. It wasn’t that long ago but it felt like eons that they had become like this, when their grip on themselves fell into the void with the loss of their mother. Maybe they needed to fall back onto themselves one day, learn to be who they used to be again but not today.

Today they would allow that anguish to fester, their anxiety to spike, their helplessness to absorb them all over again.

Still, they’d try to calm down enough to be understood. “Yes. Caspian and Nora are my siblings. Devout Jacob followers and activists, both of them are part of his army and aren’t shy about it. I ran down as soon as I heard of the protest, feeling they would get involved and of course they did. My other sister doesn’t play around with politics so I’m certain she’s okay but I don’t wanna rope her into the problem. One of them needs to stay safe from all this,” they confessed, brow scrunching, contemplating what else to say.

The following question would catch them off guard though, staring at him for a few long seconds before shaking their head frantically. “Cordie wasn’t! Cordie is a good bean now, I don’t hurt others just to make a point like so many others do. It’s not right!” they confirmed, gulping a little as now they weren’t so sure they believed their own words. “I- I think. It wasn’t right when I was a soldier for the other side so would it be right for this side? Would it make me any different, Branny?” their sapphires had a touch of fire in them then, wanting an answer to all their problems from him. They got up and moved closer to him till they were almost nose to nose, their brow scrunching for a moment before deciding not to say the last thing on their mind, head turning away as they looked back toward the South where they had come once more.

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@Brann

Brann was good enough at summarizing — a skill that came with being the Cheif of his family Clan. He had more than once had panicked little summaries that seemed borderline incoherent to most that he’d managed to make the most out of. It was simply something Brann had learned to do in being a leader. It was an important skill, and danced a tango with his ability to remain outwardly calm, despite the internal turmoil that he felt most of the time.

“Yes. Caspian and Nora are my siblings. Devout Jacob followers and activists, both of them are part of his army and aren’t shy about it. I ran down as soon as I heard of the protests, feeling they would get involved and of course they did. My other sister doesn’t play around with politics so I’m certain she’s okay but I don’t wanna rope her into the problem. One of the needs to stay safe from all this,” Cordie said, their brow scrunched up. Brann nodded slowly.

“They are in the dungeons now?” He asked, wanting to understand the situation fully. If Jacobites were in the dungeons, he had a fear that they wouldn’t be treated the same as the prisoners that weren’t supporters of King Jacob. He hoped that they hadn’t been killed already, but Brann didn’t voice this to Cordie, not wanting to panic them more than they already were.

“Cordie wasn’t! Cordie is a good bean now, I don’t hurt others just to make a point like so many others do. It’s not right! I-I think. It wasn’t right when I was a soldier for the other side so would it be right for this side? Would it make me any different, Branny?” They asked. For a moment, Brann was quiet.

“I think that there’s a time and place for fighting — but those protests were not it, I don’t believe. But… that incident was the… Jumping off point, I think for a lot of things. But, Cordie, you are good. I can see it in you. To help, you don’t always need to hurt the other side.” Brann said gently, carefully, blinking as they came almost nose to nose with him. He held their gaze, being Chief Brann in the moment, rather than just ‘Brann.’ He held his head high, and shoulders tight, the weight of his family’s lives resting upon him — and perhaps now Cordie, since they seemed alone in life for the time being.

“Were you arrested, too, Cordie, or did you escape before that happened?” Another important question that he needed an answer to, to understand the situation in its entirety. If they had escaped before imprisonment… well, Brann could work with that quite easily. But, if Cordie was an escapee, then… he needed to approach things just a bit differently.


@Cordelia

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Cordelia

“Yes, the dungeons…I heard things about execution, but I don’t know who. It might have just been rumors to make us more rowdy and capture more of us,” they breathed, actually starting to use their brain instead of spazzing out and just rambling. Oh how they wanted to ramble though but spilling about rumors wouldn’t help anything, just make the situation all the more confusing. They should have stuck around a little longer, listened to everything that was being said instead of panic running back to their homeland, feeling no less in control than they did in the Mainlands. They’d fidget with their paws for a second in place, their ears twitching as they tried to remember any other valuable information that they just hadn’t been focused on. They came up on empty.

At least they felt a little safer in Brann’s company, his calm seeming to slowly rub off on them as if just his presence alone could temper a unyielding storm. Right now they felt like a whole tsunami was being told to calm down. It made them wonder about who he was more rather than trying to cut him down to their own level like they did last time.. Was he one of the Chieftains? It wouldn’t surprise them if he was but he looked rather young to hold such a title. Most of the ones they knew were bordering on elders now, contemplating passing on their legacy to the next generation.

Before that question could be posed too, their other question was already being answered, a small smile slowly reaching their lips. It was the first time it felt like such a struggle to smile, normally a rainbow of enthusiasm but right now, their cheeks hurt and it felt like their face weighed a thousand pounds. For once they would remain quiet instead of trying to confirm anything or dance further into the subject.

The question that came last would make their head turn back to him, shaking their head. “I was arrested last Summer when Caspie and I were trying to find a cure for Mum’s illness…we didn’t have the funds so Cordie tried to steal it but it ended up being pointless. By the time I escaped, she had died and I made us waste the last moments we could have been with her,” they sniffled despite no tears being available to weep. If anyone should be blamed for her death, it shouldn’t be Black but them for getting caught and failing the one job they gave themselves. Caspian’s anger had been in the wrong direction. They’d crumble to the ground, curling into a ball, head tucked away in shame against their own muddy belly.

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@Brann

Brann’s brow was set heavily over his eyes, pulled down to throw a shadow over the gold-and-sky hues of his gaze. The situation had him deep in thought, but not enough to not hear the things that Cordie said. They seemed, as the moments passed, to calm down a bit, and get some of their senses back about them. ‘Good,’ Brann thought to himself. ‘Need to be able to think to come up with an answer to this.’

“Yes, the dungeons… I heard things about execution, but I don’t know who. It might have just been rumors to make us more rowdy and capture more of us,” Cordie said. Brann was quiet for a moment. Slowly, he began to shake his head.

“No, from the things that have been whispered about up here… I don’t think they were just rumors,” Brann said slowly, as if chewing his words like a piece of tough meat. “They would gain some with just rumors, I suppose, but… I don’t think it’s the best tactical advantage — no, actually going through with them… That would instill fear in the hearts of those not strong enough to stand up to the pathetic ‘King.’ They would fear their own heads being next on the chopping block.”

“I was arrested last Summer when Caspie and I were trying to find a cure for Mum’s illness… we didn’t have the funds so Cordie tried to steal it but it ended up being pointless. By the time I escaped, she had died and I had made us waste the last moments we could have been with her,” Cordie said, a sniffle punctuating their words. Slowly Brann nodded, watching as Cordie curled up slowly into a ball on the ground.

“Cordie,” Brann said firmly, but his voice held a gentle touch to it. “Pick yourself up. You must be strong right now. There are plans to be made; you need to be strong for this. There will be a time for emotions, for the painful memories, but now is not it.” He reached out with a paw, touching one of theirs.

“Come with me. You will be safe — the soldiers are not stupid enough to go that deep into a forest that does not want them there. It will give us time to come up with something that should work,” Brann said quietly, before turning, waiting for Cordie to stand and follow if they were so inclined to listen to his words.


@Cordelia

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Cordelia

A whimper caught in their throat before it could manifest into the air as he confirmed the suspicions as likely, making their skin crawl in the moment as they didn’t want to believe that the King was that unreasonable. They rather just think it all propaganda, it was more pleasant that way than thinking anyone would deliberately try to kill others but they also wouldn’t be surprised if some Jacobite extremists would equally prosecute those that followed the King just as well. The whole situation was terrifying and just twisted, they didn’t understand but their own head could equally be on that chopping block with the others if they were caught again. It made their blood run cold and their heart squeeze in their chest unrelentingly.

The more they thought about it, the more true it became. The more it all connected. The more they couldn’t deny those words.

As if in a drunken stupor, their head would lift to their name, a little wobbly as fatigue showed more on their face while they sunk into hopeless defeat. “Y-yes Brann?” they replied on impulse, a rare stutter licking their tongue. It made them feel like their brain was malfunctioning. Where their actions and speaking habits of going into third person were often more childish - to ensure no one called them she - their voice in itself was unmistakable adult in sound; if not a little gruff at times. At that moment it truly sounded more youthful, higher pitched and nervous but also exceptionally feminine. As if every alteration they had tried to get their voice to sound androgynous was swept away in an instant. Their natural voice bled past and at this moment, they didn’t even notice it themselves.

Strong?

They stared at him for a few long seconds as they listened to him carry on his little speech, though as touch was perceived their heart melted a little, looking up at him with more attentiveness now. The smallest smile would spread along their face, ears drawing back as a warmth flooded them. They weren’t alone. “I was supposed to take you to see butterflies,” they humored more so to themselves than to him as he withdrew to take a few steps away.

It would take a second for them to get the will to stand up and once they did it was a bit of a struggle, the adrenaline had worn off but the pain and fatigue that came with running so far would come in like a wave to replace it. Taking a few tired steps, legs shaking, they would do their best to be strong. It wouldn’t do them that well as they moved to his side, nearly falling over. “So tired…” they admitted, not sure what they were hoping for by saying it.

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@Brann

Brann, while a Jacobite himself, was not an extremist. He would not kill in the name of anyone, especially not a King who could not care less about the lives of those that followed almost blindly. While he believed in the justness, and fairness of the Highland King, thought him the rightful king of Rionnach… Brann would not kill in his name. Brann could never hold the title of executioner, could never take the life of another just for standing against the word of someone with a largely pointless title.

He could see the discomfort spread across Cordie’s face, and for a moment he felt bad for telling things how he saw them. Perhaps it was too blunt of him to say so. ‘No,’ Brann thought, ‘they need to hear the truth, no matter how harsh it may be.’ Sugar-coating and softening the truth would not do.

“I was supposed to take you to see the butterflies,” Cordie said, seemingly woken from their stupor by his words. Brann smiled gently.

“And we will, one day,” he said, still wearing a smile. He watched as Cordie struggled to stand — but they needed to do it on their own, no matter how hard it was. They needed to see their own strength. As they came to stand beside him, Brann slowly began walking.

“So tired…” Brann glanced over, nodding slowly.

“Lean on me if you need too,” the luxury of resting was not an option now. He needed to get them somewhere safe, especially if Imperial Soldiers were after them. Then, Cordie could rest. And, once they felt a bit better… they could then figure out what their plans would be for getting their family back and safe


@Cordelia

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