[ P ] Invisible Waves

The weather wasn’t really a bother that day, keeping to itself with weak sunlight through a bleak gray sky. The temperatures weren’t cold, nor were they so hot that one’s fur could sweat off. The waterfall that was the source of all hydration continued to cascade, mist separating from it to all surrounding bits and bringing a cool sensation to anyone present. This was where Ashira could be found.

The woman with smoky colors was walking along a random trail, destination currently unknown. She had grown restless after waking up and decided to stretch her legs, nonchalantly taking in whatever crossed her path. She did not know why she had gone on this small trek, to be honest. All she knew was that whatever happened, was meant to happen, so why fight destiny?

She came upon a clearing that was not visited as often as some other hideaway spots. There were hardly any trees except for those farthest away from the waterfall and its misty aura. This certain location was not empty, but Ashira didn’t mind. A tall, dark man was brooding, anger rolling off from him in invisible waves. Instead of walking away from his fuming situation, she walked within his peripheral vision and sat to look at the waterfall. Nothing of great importance, but still worth looking at. His scent had reached her nostrils before she sat, naturally prompting her to greet him. “Hello, Sinclair.”

The fury rolled off him in waves as he sat and stared at the waterfall--though he wasn't really looking at it so much as letting his mind wander off to all the things he didn't want to be thinking. Sinclair had only just learned that an imposter had stolen his life and it had sent him into a spiraling fit of anger he could not seem to climb out of. There was another man raising his children, bedding his wife and living the life he should be living. Beyond the anger, regret filled him. He never should have left. He should have stayed, figured it out, figured something out... or at least tried. He had done this to protect him and her thanks was this. It wasn't that he expected gratitude but he hadn't expected her to wed someone else.

He snarled aloud, the sound echoing off the booming waterfall and bouncing around his head as if mocking him. He lunched for his front own leg, tearing into it with a viciousness he could not escape. Blood oozed from the wound and he released himself before too much damage was done. He clenched his jaw and watched the blood fall into the grass without so much as a word escaping his dark lips.

...

"Hello Sinclair," came a feminine voice. He started slightly and turned to see the grayscale woman sitting beside him. Whether she had witnessed his prior outburst from before he did not know, nor did he honestly care. "Ashira." he replied dully, sullenly, as the anger began to dissipate. He growled softly, its remnants refusing to leave unheard. "I haven't seen you in a while," he said to the woman. He had met her on his travels after coming to Rionnach and parting from Lye. She was a woman of little words from what he could remember and that suited him just fine. He didn't want to talk much right now anyway.

Ashira was not one to really have an insightful eye to situations, especially if she did not know what has caused them. Regardless of information she gathered or not, Ashira always observed rather than gave a rash opinion. In this for instance, Sinclair’s anger was invisible, but palpable. She did not know why he was angered and she would not ask. Only when her companion voiced his emotional baggage, would she pursue a conversation.

His anger seeped from his pores more slow than when she first appeared, dissipating with a follow up growl when he said, ‘Ashira.’ There was a brief pause before he voiced, ‘I haven’t seen you in awhile.’ She could still detect it in his being, like the smell of iron and fresh grass combined near his front paws. It was not really a surprise; wounds came and went with mortal beings, no matter what you did.

“Long enough, I would say,” she agreed. The last time they had crossed paths, both were younger and both had different points of views regarding life. Sinclair was devoted to his family; Ashira had none to express the same. Glancing at him with a gray eye, Ashira took note of his own bright gaze. “Another world, another waterfall. They do begin to look the same after awhile.” A fact for Ashira that was true in most aspects. How they looked and acted would always be the same; their locations and what lived within, however, would always slightly change.

“Long enough, I would say,” she responded agreeably. As he looked at her, he wondered how long it had actually been. The days seemed to blend together for him anymore and he thought that perhaps months, even years had passed since he'd seen her last. He wondered idly how she was faring and what she was up to in all that time. He had been doing his best to steer clear of... well... anyone, really. His life was a lonely one and he was honestly growing tired of it. Maybe that was what he had sought Lye out again after all these years. A part of him had hoped, prayed even, that she'd forgive him and their life could begin anew but now? The thought of her sparked his fury again and he growled, turning away from Ashira. “Another world, another waterfall. They do begin to look the same after awhile.” "They do," he said. The waterfall... he turned to glance at it and he sighed as pain filled his chest.

"What have you been up to?" he asked, as he turned back to her. His leg ached where he had bitten it but the blood flow had already slowed. It would fade into a dull ache that would only serve to remind him of his anger until it faded into just another scar upon his body. "I've... lost everything. The best fucking part? It's all my fault." he told her. Would she even care to hear about his woes? Would talking about them even help or would they serve only to anger him further? He'd never know until he tried.

Time was a friend to Ashira, one that always moved forward and didn’t dare turn back. The fact that seconds could evolve into days, months, years - it was a big deal for most. She knew that looking back would bring up things that were meant to stay there. Ashira did not intend to backpedal in life. The cosmos ensured that she would face her path forward and move in that direction. Wherever she went, it was because time and destiny had already worked it out.

For example, she was sitting with a wounded Sinclair, watching the water churn. Did she plan on crossing paths with him? Nope. Did she find any fault in why it happened? Not a chance! Was she going to heehaw about it because it wasn’t her plan? Of course not. This moment in time had been established long before Ashira knew it would. That thought process alone was what separated her from regular wolves.

The moment continued as Sinclair’s body heaved a sigh, shortly after agreeing with her observation about waterfalls. ‘They do,’ he said, before asking her, ‘What have you been up to?’ She thought for a minute, letting the silence linger before she replied. “I could say a little bit of everything, but that would be a lie.” No humor in her voice, but it could have been taken as a chide. “Mostly just traveling and living, like always. Nothing to report other than growing older.” A fact that came everyday she woke up to experience a new morning. Ashira didn’t wish to be younger, for it would be wish wasted.

The monochrome woman would have asked Sinclair the same question, but she didn’t have to. He already prompted himself by what came next. ‘I’ve…lost everything. The best fucking part? It’s all my fault.’ Ashira’s head turned slightly more towards him as he talked, one eye and part of the other seen through his gaze. The makings of a good sad story, to forgive the oxymoron. She did not think of it, though; her attention pulled more from the falls and towards Sinclair. “Everything?” She asked, a one-worded question that held more weight than initially intended. Ashira didn’t want to push Sinclair, but it was physically visible that his mind was troubled.

It seemed time had been far kinder to Ashira than it had been to Sinclair. While she had seemingly nothing of importance to report while he had failed his family and lost everything.

His ears twitched as she echoed the word.

"Yes. Everything." he said. He did not elaborate but if she wanted to know she could ask and he would tell her. It wasn't like it was a secret he just didn't even know where to begin and so he remained silent as he glared at the waterfall before him.

Sinclair sighed and shifted his paws, his wounded leg aching dully as he moved it. The pain did not bother him, in fact it grounded him. He glanced down at it momentarily focusing on it, and sighed. The bleeding had stopped and the blood was beginning to dry upon his black fur. He'd simply leave it there till he felt like cleansing himself. He glanced back up and looked towards Ashira, looking over her greyscale fur and pale eyes, he wondered just really what she had been up to. It had been years. Had she no mate, no family, nothing? She had been a wanderer then, was that still the case? He truly did not know for they shared so minimally between one another that perhaps he never would.

‘Yes. Everything.’ The monochrome woman could feel the weight in Sinclair’s confirmation and realized he would not share if she did not ask. The pain in how he physically moved showed that his injury was most likely a result of that mental anguish, causing a reaction of self harm that, otherwise, could have been inflicted on another. Even if Ashira had been there during that moment, she figured it would not have happened to her. Unless she had triggered Sinclair, she would have been all right.

The situation at hand was one Ashira could not have been prepared for. She knew that other wolves had a lot going on in their personal lives, even if she didn’t have a lot of her own. So, rather than be torn about asking or not, she gave it to fate and destiny pulled her along like a child following a wandering balloon. Perhaps she was meant to be there to help lighten Sinclair’s load. “How did it all start?” The beginning was usually the best place to initiate such a tale.

"How did it all start?"

It was a loaded question and one he didn't quite know how to answer. Where should he start? From which beginning did his true disaster of a life start? He had only shared some tragedies with a fair few and Ashira had not been one of them but perhaps talking about at least the most recent would make him feel better. Nothing else had worked thus far so he truly had nothing to lose, he supposed.

"When we came to Rionnach I..." he paused and looked at her, wondering if he'd ever explained to her his condition. He didn't thin he had. "I have a problem. There's another part of me, deep down, that comes out sometimes and it's... violent. I hurt others and don't even know it till I come to." he said. It sounded like something out of a horror story, unreal. But it was very real to him and he'd suffered from it mostly all his life. "Well, when we came to Rionnach it happened with my wife. With Lye. I hurt her and she barely survived and so I left to protect her and the kids. I thought I was doing a good thing but she rewarded me not with gratitude but by... marrying someone else." he growled the last part, his lips twitching to flash his fangs to show his hatred at just the phrase alone.

"I should have stayed, should have tried to fix things but I ran like a fucking coward and now I'm alone. I've been alone all this time."

Sinclair drew a breath and looked at Ashira, wondering what she would say. If she fled, he would understand, but if she stayed it would mean more to her than she knew.

Sinclair delivered and it was not disappointing. ‘When we came to Rionnach I..."’ a pause, a stare, then: ‘I have a problem. There's another part of me, deep down, that comes out sometimes and it's... violent. I hurt others and don't even know it till I come to.’ Ashira had no words, so she nodded to show she was listening and Sinclair continued.

‘Well, when we came to Rionnach it happened with my wife. With Lye. I hurt her and she barely survived and so I left to protect her and the kids. I thought I was doing a good thing but she rewarded me not with gratitude but by... marrying someone else.’ The monochrome woman didn’t budge, for she was not rude and would listen until Sinclair was done. ‘I should have stayed, should have tried to fix things but I ran like a fucking coward and now I'm alone. I've been alone all this time.’

As Sinclair drew a breath in, Ashira began to exhale. She had been breathing in as Sinclair finished his story and their bodies synced to be opposite each other. For a minute or two, Ashira did not speak, but merely watched Sinclair. She knew that it was not easy for the dark male to express himself, let alone to someone whom hadn’t been there to help ease the burden and pain.

Ashira made no move to slip away from Sinclair. She wasn’t rooted to the spot out of fear or nervousness. She knew that she was meant to be there and that was the main reason she turned her whole body to face him. Rising from her haunches, she took the few steps that were needed to close the space between them. Just as easily as she rose, she settled beside him on darkened haunches and looked at him by turning her head thirty degrees so he could see both eyes. “You’re not alone now,” she stated firmly.

Sinclair was her friend, one of the few in her life whom accepted her for who she was and didn’t ask her to change. The same would go for him; she wouldn’t ask him to change who he was. Sinclair was exactly whom he should be and that was satisfying enough for the smoke-pelted woman.

When she didn't run away, he looked at her curiously. Was she brave... or stupid? He couldn't quite tell as she got up and came closer. “You’re not alone now,” she said and he only looked at her. He supposed he should be grateful for her gesture but he only saw it as foolish.

"Don't you understand? I could hurt you too. Kill you, even..." he stressed.

Sinclair stood up and moved away before turning his body partially towards her. He glared at her and tilted his head. "We might be friends but that doesn't matter. I nearly killed the love of my life... what makes you think you're safe?" he asked. His dark fur had fluffed up somewhat due to his agitation. If he was good at anything in this life it was running others away when all he really wanted was for them to stay.