[ P ] a present for you

SIF ASGAUT
Bulletproof, Nothing to Lose

Her heart melted at his smile, taking in each little false gold hair upon his face, noticing up close all the cream embers that flicked along his fur. It was like seeing him for the first time, truly, though she felt no less drunk than had she been drinking thanks to the blood loss and fatigue. Had she been truly drunk, her mind might have jumbled his words and took it the entirely wrong way but she heard him, she understood each lyric without it being diluted by anything at all. No liquor, no drugs, no suspicion, no anger. She was an empty accepting vessel for once and it made being near him so much more magnetic, no opposing forces to fight them for a change. The melting would turn to fluttering, happy to know he viewed her as something worth keeping forever and always, even if she didn’t comprehend exactly how far that went.

As her lips brushed his, she went to pull back at the hitch in his breathing, feeling like she just did something wrong. So, so wrong until he would follow her to the point it felt like her head hadn’t moved at all. Fear seemed to buzz, however, fear of what this all meant. This was all new to her, she hadn’t had any interactions like this before and it nearly snapped that magnet. “S-sorry,” she stammered, not even sure why she said it, her whole body feeling like it was made of electricity. She could only associate it with adrenaline, a desire to flee which she did and didn’t want to do.

Hesitantly, her tongue would flick out to gently brush the underside of his chin to take away her half-dried flakes of blood that had matted there from the hug moments ago. “Red doesn't suit you,” she said on a breathy note, not liking what it illustrated in her mind. She had seen too much red today and she didn’t want it to stain him too, she wanted to keep him pure. Keep him safe from ever having his own blood spilled.

Breaking from the kiss, she still wouldn’t pull away, fighting the desire to as she tilted her head down to press her brow against his own while her muzzle leaned into his, ears tilted back. “We are both…forever fools,” she said as her eyes closed and her paw gently found his. Fool had lost its meaning from when they first met, no longer holding any negative connotation. It had evolved slowly but surely into a term of endearment but in this case, she truly felt like the fool. So scared of what any of this meant, feeling like she might be misreading everything and most of all that feeling in her breast was so foreign.

If she truly wanted to keep him pure, shouldn't she go? Keep him from her sins?

code by claerie

khepri tiamat.

The world seemed to melt away around him as they kissed and after all this time, he realized, this was what he'd been yearning for. His mind was crystal clear on what he wanted and what he wanted this to mean. While he was thinking of everything he wanted to say to her, she started to apologize as if she'd done something wrong. Khepri would smile and tilt his head a little. "You don't have to apologize," he told her. There was nothing to be sorry about. Whether this evolved into something more or they remained friends did not matter in the moment and either way he'd respect her decision. He would never force her into something she did not want but he would at least tell her how he felt... at some point.

He blinked as she brushed her tongue along his chin, commenting on how red didn't suit him, and he was pulled back into the reality that she was hurt. He hadn't addressed her wounds yet as they'd been so caught up in the moment. He'd even managed to get some of her blood on him or perhaps that blood belonged to someone else, he couldn't quite tell. As she broke away from him slightly, she pressed her forehead to his and pressed a paw to his. A chuckle escaped him at her comment and he only nodded in agreement. He then sighed and pulled away. He didn't want to but he knew he should. "I... I really should look at your wounds and you should get some rest. We can go look for Aurora once your strength is up?" he said hesitantly. He hadn't forgotten about her and he was sure Sif hadn't either but she was in no condition to go yet.

Maybe if he could catch up to Leoric he could send the soldier after her... but then again, did he even know what Aurora looked like? He sighed again and felt his stress rising slightly. He didn't want any harm to come to her but she definitely could have gotten caught up in the fighting since they lived so close to where it all started. He could only hope for now she'd gotten out of it or avoided it altogether.

table by hale. image from unsplash.

SIF ASGAUT
Bulletproof, Nothing to Lose

Her lips would press together apprehensively, feeling a little bashful at being told not to apologize and yet she wasn’t wholly surprised he said so. He had always been physically affectionate since she could remember but trauma always made her push him away, threaten him even when it was at its worst. It was never him that pulled away from her touch, he always seemed to lean into it wearily, accepting it openly. Especially the last few months he had been so patient with her, though if he wasn’t than it just meant he hadn’t listened or didn’t understand the confession about her daughter’s conception. Not that she could blame him, it wasn’t like she handed him her memories, only her misery in ways anyone that wasn’t him might have taken advantage of.

Even now, once again, their circumstances were hardly pleasant, not a single memory one that was positive in her mind. From when she lost her eye, to that night she came to him drunk, to the time in the forest or her assumptions about him that clearly offended him but he would brush aside to always come back to her. It was all bittersweet. His chuckle would draw her attention back to reality, not liking that he was starting to escape her form, exhaustion making her almost fall forward as he did so. Stubbornness was about the only thing that drove her from her face smashing the floor but it wasn’t enough to make her fight him on the matters he spoke of. He was right, she needed to recover. She might have been one of the last standing but it didn’t mean she was standing strong.

“If you insist, Doctor," she sighed, pausing for a moment before stating what she had on her mind. "Khepri, I want to start making pleasant memories with you…not just you trying to patch me up,” she said in a worn breath as he pulled away fully, knowing that might never be possible in this world they lived in. If it wasn't one thing, it was another that plagued this land.

The fact he also didn’t forget about Aurora only made her look at him with more adoration but mixed with dread. Nassar might have trained the girl in self defense but that didn’t mean the girl would use it sparingly, the ghost of a girl wasn’t a fighter and she was in no shape for it. It wasn’t because of her nobility, it was from such poor health but as she aged, her ability to keep the girl under a safety blanket and hidden from the world had been torn.

“Should we find her; can she stay with you till this all smooths over? I’d feel more comfortable with her away from the castle where everyone’s ire is pointed towards right now. Melrose is neutral land, she’s probably safer here,” she asked, slowly moving over to his bed to lay down so he could reach her better, never thinking she’d be saying such a thing. The Lowlands were her home though, it’s where she had always felt safest, where she always escaped to when she needed peace and solitude. With the Vandium boy back, maybe it could also keep any progression at bay. Happy he hadn’t perished but uncertain what that meant for the future of her daughter.

She had a few bite wounds, one on her neck and another on her shoulder that were the worst of it. Her ribs also hurt quite a bit, but that wound was internal, from Baelfire’s lovely wife slamming into her. She felt like the bitch might have actually broken one, but she was breathing okay, so maybe just bruised it.

code by claerie

khepri tiamat.

There were no more protests as she agreed to let him look her over; perhaps the fatigue was finally getting to her if it already hadn't. He couldn't imagine how tired she must feel and the adrenaline from the fight must be wearing off. She had to be feeling the pain of her wounds and he was amazed by her strength that she did not seem to be shedding a single tear for them. He wasn't sure he could say the same about himself. He did not like pain and obviously did not deal with it well, with his whole seeking of valerian to numb it and that hadn't even been physical but mental. He blinked as he momentarily realized the last time he had used had been quite some time ago... perhaps even that day Sif first showed back upon his doorstep in the rain. No, that couldn't be right, he thought. For now it didn't matter, what matter was taking care of Sif.

His ears perked at her next comment and he smiled, his tail even waved a few times behind him as he nodded in agreement. "I'd like that... but I'll still always be here to patch you up regardless," he said, attempting a small joke.

Conversation would switch to finding Aurora and Sif asked him a surprising question. He remembered being told to stay away from the young girl and now he was being asked to house her. It showed how far Sif had come in terms of trusting him and he felt far more comfortable knowing that when he said "Yes, of course she can stay here. I have plenty of room." he said. He had to agree that she would probably be safer here in Melrose than in the Mainlands, where tensions were only growing higher. He glanced around, knowing he'd have to setup a separate bed for the girl somewhere. It would be no bother at all.

When he looked back to her, she moved to lie in his bed once more and he moved closer to pause and look over her wounds. Bites, by the look of them, along her neck and shoulder seemed the worst so far. His gaze trailed along her body for more wounds but there were not that he could see. He felt a warmth in his cheeks when he looked at her but ignored it for now; they had just kissed after all what was there to be embarrassed about? He cleared his throat. He wasn't here to admire her (right now), he was here to help her. "Well at least this is a better time for all this, I've restocked a bit since last time," he said. He hadn't known he'd need it so soon.

Without another word he turned to his stores and plucked out a few things that he could smooth over her wounds to hopefully make them feel better and promote healing. "Some aloe... and marshmallow should do just fine," he murmured to himself as he collected. He pulled down the stem of white flowers first then tossed it in a small, cracked bowl for crushing. Then he grabbed the long, spindly leaf and set it aside for the same treatment. He glanced at Sif as he turned around, then returned his focus to the bowl where he picked up the flowers, chewed them very briefly, then returned them to the bowl to crush into a paste with his paw. Once that was complete, he picked up the bowl by its edge carefully and walked over to his patient where he would set the bowl down and pause momentarily. "This might sting a little but I have that aloe there just for that... this will help fight infection." he said apologetically. He placed a paw in the mixture and then began to gently swipe it onto her pelt where the wounds were the worst. At least these were not in so delicate a place as last time, he thought as he worked.

Next, he grabbed the aloe by one side and pawed the other so that he could peel it apart for the good inside. Once obtainable, he swiped the other paw along it to gather it up and place it over top his poultice. He hoped that would soothe the pain somewhat and would also help with the healing.

"There... not so bad if I do say so myself," he said softly. He paused for a moment again and then stepped around her so that he could lay at her back. The bed was large enough for the both of them to settle comfortably and this was of course not part of the healing process... he just wanted to be near her, if she'd let him. He settled beside her and ran his tongue across the back of her ear once before asking "is this okay?"

table by hale. image from unsplash.

SIF ASGAUT
Bulletproof, Nothing to Lose

“Let’s hope so. How can you be my doctor if you stop providing treatment?” she mused back just a little, though truly she meant it. He was the only healer she’d let near her wounds; he had been the only doctor she had gone since she was but a child. To build up enough comfort in another touching her, she didn’t want to think about that, for she had a personal healer already on speed dial. She never wanted to replace him with another.

A bright smile, a rarity, would paint her face with a surprising amount of radiance when he agreed to house Aurora. It meant so much more to her than he would know or maybe he knew well enough as she recalled his daughter. She was surprised he hadn’t asked of her at all but maybe he just had more faith in everyone coming out just fine than she did. More optimistic than she could ever be. There was a massive difference in daughters, that she knew. Even if she didn’t know Lia at all, she sounded strong and just slow to recover from trauma, from what he spoke of her. She knew how that was, still healing from her own. “Have you heard from Lia at all?” she asked softly, curious if they had gotten in any contact since they spoke of her last, hoping everything was well between them.

It wasn’t that she couldn’t feel the pain, she had just learned to accept it a long time ago. Welcomed it perhaps more than she should for it simply meant she was alive. If she couldn’t feel, would that not mean she had died? The bit of stabbing, sharp stings that crawl out from the wounds were nothing compared to how much they itched from the blood and dirt that were trapped in the fur. She could ignore it for now, her attention so fixated on others that it was just an annoying prick in the back of her head, like a bird singing to the morning sun. With their bodies separating, that fixation would be far less polarizing, starting to feel the flea like tingle along her flesh, making her want to scratch at it but knowing that would only end in a poor choice of reopening the wounds worse than they were before. Instead, while she settled down, she would gently at least lick some away from her left shoulder, trying to peel away every annoying speck while she waited for him to do whatever it was he was going to do.

His approach would make her stop for a moment, letting him inspect everything while she looked toward the door, listening to the world around them. The gentle shiver of trees to the flutter of wings and the pattering of prey made the world far less quiet but it was his breathing that she’d hear the loudest as he hovered over her. It wasn’t as appealing as his heart, but it still soothed her. Her tail would sway as he moved from her again, watching him idly. She said nothing to his comments on his stores, having thought the college had herbs year-round and therefore assuming it wasn’t that hard to restock when he needed to. That said, if he didn’t like taking from those gardens, she was likely a burden and had drained him of supply.

It didn’t take long for him to invade her space again, smelling of more than valerian, something she never actually craved for physical pain. A small shake of her head would be made as he started to prattle about everything he was doing. It seemed once she made him do something once, he felt the need to do it forever. At least he was being considerate of her apprehension.

She’d noticed none of the herbs he had this time were the same as last, when he treated her ulcer, finding it a little peculiar but maybe a bite wound needed something different from one caused by illness. What did she know? She’d listen to him all the same, taking note of the name of each thing he used, nose wrinkling just a little at the look of the aloe. So snotty and slimy, it made her skin want to crawl, but she didn’t resist either. Her teeth would clench only a little at the added sting, taking the warning half-heartedly and she about nearly smacked the aloe away as it grew closer shortly after.

The texture was just as it looked like. Disgusting. It took a lot in her not to flinch. “Easy for you to say, you don’t have to wear it,” she huffed, brooding that she in fact did.

She half expected him to do as he did last time she was here, keeping his distance after doing his best but she was very much wrong as he closed the space and moved to rest next to her. Her face would flush at the little burst of her heart at the lick upon her ear. It being rather sensitive from such delicate flesh and hairs that caught every tiny vibration. Gently shaking her head, she wouldn’t say yes or no but rather leaning over to place a tender kiss on his cheek, her forearms overlapping one of his daintily. “I trust you,” she assured before lightly nuzzling against his neck if he allowed. That went for more than him laying next to her, she trusted in whatever herbs he may offer her to be of help. She didn't need a list anymore.

“Can you groom the blood off? I can't reach it myself,” she requested, hoping it wouldn't be too much trouble so the itch could go away. The remaining bits of adrenaline dissipated fully, resting with her upper half practically in his arms, lowering her head down to relax and allow him full access to her wound and scar ridden scruff.

code by claerie

khepri tiamat.

Khepri smiled at her doctor comment, knowing that he would prefer to be her doctor only if he ever had a choice. While she could be a stubborn patient, he felt comfortable enough around her to be able to work effectively.

As he worked he was questioned about Lia and his face darkened slightly. It wasn't that he'd forgotten his daughter but he trusted that all the work she'd put into her training had come in handy, had she even been there at all. "I haven't heard from her in some time, nor gotten word from her. I was hoping to visit home after this all dies down." It was then that he would check on her, whether that would be by seeing her with his own eyes or hearing of her through the Tiamat grapevine was yet to be seen.

He only smile apologetically at her disgust of the goop he smeared upon her fur. "It's not so bad, it's supposed to be soothing," he said with a light chuckle. The look on her face was a little comical if he was being honest.

When he lay down next to her, he almost expected her to chase him away but she didn't. They nestled together comfortably in his bed and he drew in her familiar scent mixed with blood and the scents of others that were probably the wolves she'd fought or fought with. It was a little disorienting, but he didn't let it bother him too much. He was just glad she was here and relatively okay. “I trust you,” she would say before nuzzling into his neck. He leaned into her touch and felt his heart flutter again in his chest. The sentiment was not lost on him. He knew she did not trust easily, after all they had not been on the best terms not to long ago. They had come such a long way and the journey had been exhausting but he was glad to be here now.

Khepri's ears flicked at her request and he nodded. "Of course," he said softly before he started to groom the back of her neck and scruff where she could not reach. She lowered her head down and he looked at her, he hadn't noticed the wounds back here and would have to dress them at some point but for now he was content with this. They needed cleaning first anyway.

In all this time he would have never expected to be here, with Sif, like this. It felt like a dream despite the conditions under which it all had happened. He had never expected to have feelings for anyone other than his late wife and while he felt a twinge of guilt, perhaps at the thought of betraying her memory, he knew he could not hold onto her for the rest of his days. It had already been about three years since her death... maybe it was finally time to move on.

table by hale. image from unsplash.

SIF ASGAUT
Bulletproof, Nothing to Lose

As she switched the conversation to the likes of his daughter, she wasn’t really sure how to read how he felt about it all, his face betraying nothing that was clear. The shift in his gaze could be interpreted in a couple different ways, though she would pick out that perhaps it was dread or worry about his little bundle of flame and angst. His words on the other paw made it feel like the terms on which they stood had only gotten worse instead of better, so maybe that expression was more of rejection or bitterness. She was never great at reading the emotions of others, messing up quite often if she was being honest, so she wasn’t sure if she should comfort him or encourage him. “If she doesn’t, maybe your sister can give you some assurance in her status. Maybe she just needs breathing room, sometimes you just need to wait for them to come to you when they are ready,” she tried to be positive to some degree. It was hard when all she could think about, when it came to such a wolf, was how he had confessed he felt hated by the girl.

“I think it would feel no different than if you sneezed on me, probably would taste better too,” her lips would twitch slightly as he defended the aloe, feeling like just off of smell alone she knew exactly what it tasted like. She wasn’t angry at him, though she was tempted to put it on his face to see what he would do but that was no way to treat someone trying to help. He already had it paws, so it wasn’t like he was unaware of how gross it felt.

She’d take in his familiar scent as she pressed into him, feeling the gentle return of his form, it such a warm reminder of how different he was from her in a day to day life. He didn’t smell of iron and sweat, he always smelled sweet but most of all floral, even more so now after playing with herbs. It made him almost seem feminine but that was something she liked about him, that femininity overshadowing anything horribly masculine and toxic.

Fragile. Solf. Someone she wanted to keep safe. It rekindled a different memory, the same feeling she had when they were haunted, well before the episode hit her too hard to differentiate everything.

She couldn’t help but stiffen when his lips first touched her neck, so used to other’s teeth being put there to control her body that it was just muscle memory at this point to respond. As it was tongue and not sharpened teeth, that rigidity would lessen and the lulling of his tongue would draw a yawn from her chest, jaws clicking open against her wishes for a moment to take in a cluster of air into her lungs. Releasing the air, she would settle the rest of the way down, her eye closing as her face would bury into his cream chest to hide away the light from disturbing her. The bits of tear residue hardly bothered her. Her worries could return once she was rested but for now, she would bask in his comforts. It would take a bit but eventually she would sleep there in his arms if he didn’t remove her as the fatigue took over her consciousness.

[sif exits via fade to a dreamless peaceful sleep]

code by claerie

khepri tiamat.

He admired her optimism and hoped that someday he and Lia could reconcile-- or more so that she would find a way to forgive him for whatever it was he had done so wrong. She had been a yearling when he'd sent her away and she'd held that grudge since. He wasn't sure if it was more about her mother dying or that, but whatever the case was, he was unwillingly absent from her life until she decided to let him in again. "Hopefully I'll see her when I visit." If not, he was sure Nassar could fill him in just like Sif said. He wondered if he should be more worried about her than he was but he couldn't quite bring himself to be. She was a spitfire, she'd be the one doing the damage if she'd been caught up in all of this.

"Well sneezing on you wouldn't be as effective," he said more playfully as talk of his daughter faded.

He noticed how she stiffened when he first began to groom her and he slowed his touch so that she would hopefully feel more comfortable. Eventually, she seemed to relax, even so much so that she would yawn. Her coat was clean by now, so he'd stopped his grooming only for her to press her face into his chest and start to slowly drift off to sleep. As he watched her breaths slow he thought about the series of unfortunate events that had all led them to this. Was this how it was always supposed to go or had it all been a game of chance?

He supposed he would never really know the answer to that question, but he did know one thing. He looked down at her sleeping figure for a few moments and then rested his chin across her shoulder, his own eyelids were beginning to droop as he found himself calmed by the sounds of her soft breaths. "I..." he began softly, his voice little more than a whisper. "love you, Sif." He'd wanted to say it earlier, before she'd even kissed him and before all of this but he hadn't been able to. It was much easier to now, when he wasn't sure she could hear him at all. "I think I have for a long time now..." he murmured, though that was more toward himself than her.

The tawny man sighed softly and closed his honied eyes; finally letting sleep overtake him too. For the first time in a long time he slept peacefully, without the aid of the valerian he'd grown so accustomed to.

[ exit khepri via fading to sleep ]

table by hale. image from unsplash.