[ P ] Pondering

"speak"
Gallagher wandered through the Arbetoreum, sniffing slowly at the breeze that meandered through the trees. It was a warmer day, but still frigid enough to let it be known that it was, indeed, still winter in Rionnach. In truth, they had returned to the college only a month or so prior, having found Pip and deciding that it would be best to return somewhere where they knew that they had warm shelter for the small frog. Pip rested nestled in the fur between Gallagher’s shoulders, making a small sound at any unnecessary jostling that the small frog perceived. Gallagher would mumble a quiet ‘sorry,’ before proceeding to try to walk a bit slower.

Life was a little lonely now, even back in the quiet life of the College of Eolas. Gallagher couldn’t help but feel a tad down in the dumps every so often, couldn’t help the quiet melancholy that often snuck up on them in the absence of who they had thought to be their closest and dearest friend — and perhaps more.

‘But now I have Pip, so… it’s okay… Right?’ They thought to themselves as they slowly entered one of the buildings that held some of the classes.

“Sure,” they quietly spoke out loud to themselves.

That didn’t mean, however, that they were ‘happy’ about things. They were still getting over the hurt of suddenly being alone. They had searched and searched and searched for Willow, but she had never shown up. It had been like she had vanished from Rionnach completely, out of thin air, despite Gallagher knowing that to be impossible. They had pondered all sorts of possibilities, from the Fae having taken her to the much more mundane, and possible fact of her… simply not wanting to be around them anymore. How strange that the mundane and plausible seemed far more fear-inducing than the fantastical and improbable.

“What do you think, Pip?” Gallagher asked quietly, glancing back towards their shoulder where the small frog peeked out from between the thick hairs. Pip gave a small sound, a response if only Gallagher could understand the language of frogs. They sat down slowly beside a window. There were no classes to sneak into, today, nothing to teach, and with winter still holding Rionnach in her icy grip, there was very little that could be done outside without fear of Pip getting sick. So, Gallagher opted for sitting beside a low window and soon found themselves curled up with their chin resting on the window’s edge, looking out into the Arbetoreum. Pip came to perch between their ears, snuggled deep into the short fur that rested there, soaking up the body heat that they offered in the, warmer, but still chilled air inside.


@Willow

W

hy had she been drawn to the mountains? Late fall had lured her into the unknown, and her mind raced with questions. What was she trying to find? Why had she left so abruptly? Her thoughts and feelings were muddled, her motives confused.

She had not anticipated early snow and freezing temperatures, but snow it did — non-stop. The snowfall had seemed endless there, at a higher elevation than she had traveled before, and soon, the paths disappeared beneath a blanket of white so heavy that she couldn’t get find her way back, and she could scarcely make her way through. Creeks and lakes were soon frozen solid, appearing like winding, pale snakes across the landscape. Everything was white, and the girl and her pet skunk stood out. But there didn’t seem to be anyone else up there but her and her dear skunk Herb, who remained close throughout the entire ordeal.

And yet, despite the cold and the difficulty hunting, Willow persevered. She found a large den to call her own until she was able to leave. It seemed impossible. She was often hungry, but she survived, and her confidence in herself grew with each freezing night and dismal day. Each sunrise brought hope anew. She felt different now, but wasn’t sure what had changed.

Finally, the snow began to melt, slowly at first, as the sun peeked shyly from behind stormy gray clouds. Soon, winter would meet its end, and for this, she was grateful. Willow was excited for spring and all the new little lives that would be born. She had a job to do down in the valleys below the foothills.

It would take nearly a week to find her way out of the maze of tall pine trees and boulders. At times, the snow was simply too deep for her to pass through, and she would have to take a different path, all while hoping she was going the right direction.

Eventually, the rugged mountains became gently sloping hills which led into the Highlands. She could feel her excitement growing with every step, tinged with anxiety for how she would be received. She looked different now, too, more thin than before due to the challenges of hunting in snow.

The Lowlands were a welcome sight. She could scarcely wait to see them all again, her beloved family — but she went first to the College. Next, she would go to her mothers at last, but there was something she needed to do first, someone who deserved an apology, someone she cared deeply about — if she could find them.

It was their familiar scent that brought Willow nearer. Then she saw them. Her heart began to beat in double-time. ”Galla.” she shifted on her paws nervously as she came to stand closer to them. ”Uh, hi.”. Her head bowed in embarrassment, eyes lowering away from their attractive features. Herb stood beside the wolfess protectively.

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

"speak"
The pair settled in, gazing out the window in silence. Pip’s company had become a constant in Gallagher’s life since they’d found the frog. No bigger than the end of their nose, it was hard now to picture their days without the tiny creature’s company. Although, their time alone simply gazing out the window did not last forever — these little moments scarcely did within the walls of the College, someone always moving around and walking by.

As they heard the sound of paw steps, Gallagher assumed it was another student or perhaps one of the professors moving through the halls of the slightly overgrown building. But, as they came to a stop behind them, one of Gallagher’s ears tilted backward. There were two scents there — both familiar in their own right. Gallagher’s eyes widened for a moment before they squeezed shut. ‘No,’ they thought. ‘It’s just your imagination going crazy again.’

They felt Pip turn to face the ghost and knew that it was no simple imaginary apparition that had appeared behind them.

“Galla… Uh, hi,” that familiar voice said. Galla lifted their chin from the edge of the window but did not turn at first. For a few long moments, they were silent, the only sound was the quiet chirping that Pip let out. Both of Galla’s ears tilted back, disrupting the frog’s place between them. They felt Pip hop down to their shoulders as they moved to stand.

“Where… did you go?” They simply asked, finally turning their bright blue gaze toward Willow. There was no anger within their gaze, nothing frosty, nothing to match the winter chill in the air. What resided there, was only the question that they had asked — a need to know, a desire for an explanation. While, there were not many things that Gallagher felt entitled to… an answer as to why they’d been left alone when they had been traveling together was one of the few things they did.


@Willow

S

he was uncertain how Gallagher would respond when they saw the wolfess there. She offered a vague smile when Galla turned to see her. It was almost as if they could not quite believe what they were seeing. And could Willow blame them? When both wolves’ eyes finally found each other, azure meeting green, Willow was not sure what she expected to find there. An unconscious wince crossed her features before she could rein in the surge of emotion. Would they be… Disappointed? Disgusted?

Of course, Gallagher held no semblance of judgment, no hint of simmering anger in their gentle features. They looked the same as before Willow’s departure. Younger than before, a mystery never solved.

Their question was fair, and Willow felt her heart drop. How could she explain? Where should she start? Dark lips pursed thoughtfully. “I was in the mountains. It was…”. A mistake? A fool’s errand? “It was…” Life-changing? She searched for the perfect words to describe the challenges and the triumphs. In the end, she squealed out a single word: “Cold.” She grinned sheepishly, gaze falling away once more.

She had considered what she might say when this moment came, practicing some scripts within her mind as she had traveled. Now that the moment had arrived, however, her mind was frustratingly blank. Twin eyes moved back to find Gallagher again.

“Galla, I wanted to — you deserve an apology.” She willed herself to maintain eye contact, but the shame of her misdeeds made it more difficult. “I hadn’t planned to be gone —“

“But I’m sorry for leaving in the first place. For — for just leaving the way that I did.”

In her distracted focus, she had not yet noticed Gallagher’s tiny amphibious companion.


@Gallagher

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

"speak"
They could see the thoughts crossing Willow’s mind — they couldn’t help but wonder what the following words would be. Would they be apologetic? Or… would they simply never address the fact of what had happened? Gallagher had hidden the hurt of it all very well on their travels, had convinced themselves — for a while — that she would show up just as she had done now. But, then she hadn’t, and they had convinced themselves that there was a reason for everything. However, they never could quite chase the nagging thought that they had done something wrong to make her go.

And, truthfully, that was all Gallagher wanted to know.

Was it something they had done?

“I was in the mountains. It was… It was… Cold,” A sheepish grin followed, punctuating words that weren’t quite what they were looking for, but would take anyway, because… They could not harbor any ill emotion towards Willow, not when the girl still held their heart in a way that they couldn’t quite explain with words.

But, what did they say in response?

Gallagher didn’t know, their gaze drifting to the side as they searched for words.

“Galla, I wanted to — you deserve an apology. I hadn’t planned to be gone —,” Willow said, their gazes meeting and holding for a moment. “But I’m sorry for leaving in the first place. For — for just leaving the way that I did.”

“It’s okay,” Galla said quietly. “I forgive you.” And they did, that was no lie. But, in some say, the trust had been just a little bit broken, something that would need to be rebuilt again — if Willow wanted to, that is, and wasn’t about to vanish again. Gallagher looked down at their paws for a moment, thinking over their words of choice.

“I understand that it was something you felt you needed to do. I just… I was worried.” Were their words right? They thought so, but, if they fit at the moment, they weren’t quite sure.


@Willow

W

illow braced herself, jaw clenching in anticipation of his. She felt nervous now, despite the other’s gentle maner. She was worried about Gallagher’s response. If they hated her for what she had done… Well, could Willow blame them? After a few thoughtful seconds, in a quiet voice, they responded, ”It’s okay. I forgive you.”

Hearing Gallagher describe their worry inspired a deep sigh from Willow. She did not entirely regret her decision to go to the mountains, but certainly, she felt remorse for doing so without telling anyone – especially Galla. In truth, she had even considered inviting Galla along, for whatever the journey ahead was to look like. The two had traveled together before, after all.

But the introspection found in isolation and loneliness had been important to her. Willow simply wasn’t sure how to describe it – even in her mind, it remained an enigma.

But as significant as the experience was, as exciting as it was, Willow knew she belonged in the Lowlands. She belonged in Melrose, at the College, this would always be her home. And Gallagher… the she-wolf sighed again. Vivid green eyes sought the azure gaze of her dear friend. ”I never meant – I’m sorry I worried you.”

”I missed you. I was trapped for a while up there, but I thought of you.” She willed herself to continue maintaining eye contact, despite her growing nerves. She offered in a quieter voice: ”Quite… a lot, actually, Galla.”


@”gallagher”

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

"speak"
Gallagher could understand the need for a journey — it was, after all, why they had traveled away from the college in the first place all those months ago. To learn something about themselves. To learn a little more about the world that they existed in, that they called home. Gallagher had discovered, in their own journey, that they wanted to be at the college. That they wanted to teach, and continue to learn as much as they could about the natural world that they were inherently a part of.

They could not blame Willow for needing to do the same.

That would simply be wrong of them to do.

“I never meant — I’m sorry I worried you,” Willow said. Gallagher offered a small smile, a nod. The apology was worth a lot, it meant the world to them because, in a way, it said that she cared. Which, meant more to Galla than they would have expected. Those feelings that they had developed for the girl had never vanished, they had simply been placed neatly in a box, to either be opened later or never again. But, in her presence again, the box thumped. The emotions inside of it wanted out.

But, what did that mean, if anything?

“I missed you. I was trapped for a while up there, but I thought of you… Quite… a lot, actually, Galla,” Willow said. Gallagher felt their cheeks turn red beneath the cover of their light-hued fur. A paw scuffed slightly at the ground for a moment, and all they could do was nod, until they finally found their voice.

“I missed you, too,” Gallagher said, their voice quiet, as if telling a secret. “I thought of you a lot, too…. And I… Uhm. I spoke quite a bit about you. I…” Their sentence trailed off before it could even truly start. A small, almost meek laugh came from their pale lips.

“I, uh. I told Pip all about you,” they finally said, lifting a paw to gesture to the frog that rested between their ears. The small creature gave a small chirp, as it realized it was being spoken about. ‘I told Pip more than I could ever be brave enough to say to you.’ They thought it, they wanted to say it, but the words stuck like sand in their throat. Gallagher’s pale gaze drifted down towards the ground, a sudden shyness coming over them.

There were so many things that they wanted to say.

So many things that they simply weren’t brave enough to say.


@Willow

G

allagher’s voice was quiet – not quite a whisper, but gentle and sweet. Willow was unsure how to feel with their admission – they had missed her, had spoken of her in her absence? Should she feel relieved that her friend still cared, despite her absence? No, because they were worried, and Willow didn’t want Galla to fret over her. Her emotions were all mixed up, and she felt a flush of warmth course through her form.

”Pip?” She repeated the unknown name curiously. Perhaps it was a new student, a new friend, or… Had she been less focused on their pale blue eyes, she would have seen this new little pet much sooner. Instead, it took Gallagher pointing him out for Willow to turn her own eyes away from theirs. Her gaze shifted to discover a little frog. Willow gasped with excitement. ”Oh! Look how cute!” She stepped a bit closer to Galla and his little buddy.

As she was taking a closer look at frog, however, the ever-graceful wolf’s white paws caught on something on the ground. Maybe a pebble, or just her own clumsy paws. Whatever the reason, the misstep caused Willow to slip forward – and almost into Galla’s face, so close that they could touch noses. Vivid green eyes grew wide with surprise and she jumped backwards in an awkward fashion.

”Sorry about that,” she offered quickly to spare her from embarrassment… which was largely unsuccessful, and she could feel her face as it flushed red, along with a forced laugh as her timidity launched back into her consciousness.

”I have a — uh, I’m afraid I have to go find my parents now. You were the first one I wanted to see,” she admitted with a nervous expression. ”And I’m glad I got to see you, Galla! It’s been — well, much too long. Lovely to meet you, Pip.”

This time, she was determined to stay right here in the Lowlands, her home. But fate had other plans in store for Willow. The unexpected was not far off.


[exit]

@”gallagher”

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

"speak"
Gallagher felt shy about speaking, even so vaguely, about their feelings. But, it wasn’t truly what they wanted to say. Not all of it, anyway. They wanted to tell Willow the truth, to tell her that they… liked her, and that her absence had been noted and pained over because of that; that they had fretted over the possibility of having done something wrong to ruin their chances. But, now was perhaps not the time to say all of that, and Galla realized that. So, they kept their mouth shut on the topic, relieved as Willow noticed Pip, perhaps for the first time.

“Oh! Look how cute!” She exclaimed, stepping closer. Galla smiled softly, giving a small nod.

“I found him while wandering one day — it was quite a day, I must admit. But… it worked out, I think,” Gallagher said, with a small laugh. Pip gave a small chirp, eyeing the new wolf with curiosity. Unbeknownst to Galla, Pip had begun to assume that most wolves were friendly, and had realized that their new caretaker did not often make enemies of others. As Gallagher was speaking, however, they noticed Willow trip a little, their noses almost touching as she regained her balance.

They were thankful for the fur over their cheeks that did not show the warmth that grew there, and for the fact that she could not see the chaos that unleashed itself in Gallagher’s brain at her proximity. They turned their head slightly, one of their front paws coming to rest on the other in a shy manner.

“Sorry about that,” Willow said, seemingly trying to cover up her own embarrassment.

“It’s okay,” Gallagher said quietly, their ears flicking back against their skull. ‘I don’t mind you being close,’ they wanted to say. But, again. Perhaps not the time.

“I have a — uh, I’m afraid I have to go find my parents now. You were the first one I wanted to see… And I’m glad I got to see you, Galla! It’s been — well, much too long. Lovely to meet you, Pip,” Willow said.

“Oh! Yes, of course. It was good seeing you again, too. Don’t… don’t stay away too long this time, yeah?” Galla said, their voice tiny, barely a notch above Pip’s little chirp in response to his name. Galla watched as Willow turned, and took her exit. Once she was fully out of view, Gallagher slumped to the floor.

“Feelings are hard, Pip,” Gallagher mumbled, covering their eyes with their paws. ‘Will this ever get any easier?’ They thought to themselves, heaving a small sigh.

[ fin ]


@Willow