[ P ] Pray To The Pessimist

L

aughter took the boy aback and he stared wide-eyed up at Diaval as he stumbled through an apology. All Sage could do was shake his head. He hadn't been uncomfortable, on the contrary he had been enjoying the company a lot more than he could ever have anticipated. But then those cursed words came out of his mouth. He knew he should have kept it to himself, there were so many other explanations for what had happened, so why had he gone with the one that exposes his every thought? Every heartbeat that had drummed for Diaval's figure was laid bare between them. Those golden orbs blew wide, and Sage felt the frost creep into his very soul.

Those few moments where Diaval had sought answers left Sage numb, his heart deafeningly loud in his own ears, his head seared through with every pulse. The herbalist found himself holding his breath until his chest felt like it would explode. It wasn't until Diaval spoke again that Sage remembered how to breath, and all at once a tornado of thoughts hit him. Fevered and panicked Sage filtered through the options as they flew through his consciousness. Diaval's reaction had inspired a bubble of hope inside of Sage, as if in some universe the two of them could live together happily. They could spend days by the creek, Sage's head rested on Diaval's side as they lay amongst the cosmos flowers, watching the birds playing above.

Silvery lips trembled before his final decision was made. As if he had no control over himself Sage flung himself forward, burying his head into the fur of Diaval's chest where he fit perfectly. "You don't have to say anything" Sage whispered, feeling the way Diaval's fur parted with his breath before falling delicately back against his maw. "Please don't..." He lifted his head, his nose now aligned with that of the dark prince's, cerulean eyes gazing upwards. Fierce passion and broiling hope shining in them. He was so close he could feel the soft huffs of breath on his nose, so close the scent was dizzying. The scent matched the burn he felt in his face, as if his own skin had been set alight.

His face inched closer. "... say... anything..." As the last wisp of breath left his maw, he closed his eyes. His paws clenched in anticipation and he leaned forward, reaching to close that last gap between the two of them.

@Diaval

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

The beginnings of trembling lips urged Diaval forward slightly with the intention to comfort him, but Sage flew forward at him and into his chest before he had the chance to do anything at all. Catching his balance as he put up resistance to the impact, his breath hitched slightly as the wind was nearly knocked out of him. His ears perked forward as he tilted his head downward at the smaller man, just barely catching his whispered words. Another whisper and heated breath moved up his neck and beneath his lower jaw, causing a pleasant shiver to roll down his spine and loosen his tensed muscles.

Diaval's eyes closed, his lips parting as the pace of his breathing quickened, his mind a whirlwind of lustful instinct and emotions he couldn't understand. He felt a cold, wet nose move against his and the sensation of their breaths mingling caused his eyelids to flutter open. He peered down at Sage through a half-lidded gaze, remaining still, all but the heaving of his chest as he felt the spark of flame growing in intensity. He stared into brilliant blue oceans eyes, searching between and beneath those waves, but for what, he was unsure of...

What he was sure of was that he wanted to hear his hushed voice again and as though he manifested it, a whisper lured them both in closer to one another. Diaval studied the features of the smaller male's face, watching his eyes close as he leaned forward. There was only a blink of time that allowed a shadow of a doubt, but the Dark Prince shoved the thoughts aside...now was not the time for thinking. His frame pressed in forward against Sage's, his muzzle grazing the side of his and sliding into the silvered fur of his neck as low guttural growl emanated out past his lips while the inferno of his desire began to consume him. As requested, Diaval would not say anything, instead allowing his actions to speak louder than his words ever could...

@Sage

table by Yahtzee-Penguiduck [da]. click for attributions.

S

age felt like he was drunk. His head swam pleasantly with each warm breath that landed on his wet nose, his heart beat hard and fast, it's thumping resounding inside his skull. Cerulean eyes met those glowing embers and his breath caught in his throat. It felt, in that moment, as though Diaval was able to read his thoughts, able to feel the churning low in his belly.

In the darkness behind his eyelids, Sage relished in the warmth that nuzzled into his neck. His skin tingled beneath the dark prince's touch, his hind legs tapping the dirt in impatience, but he would not need to wait too long. All at once, he felt the weight on his chest, the growl that broke the silence making him shiver, a light sigh escaping his parted lips. Sage allowed his body to follow the instructions given by the press of the other man's body. He slid slowly backwards, straining to keep his muzzle pressed into the warm chest. Sprawled on the floor, Sage looked up at Diaval with pleading eyes, his lips moved, but no sound came out as he begged his dreamy prince to make him his own.

@Diaval Sorry it took longer than expected. I couldn't write something I was happy with... Please accept this smutty boi as penance.

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

Pliable as candle wax against his flame, Sage easily bent to his will. The smaller male reclined backwards, hugging close into his chest, while Diaval did his best to lay him down gently despite his heightened state until he stood over him. His mouth was open in a light pant as the heat climbed between them and he was not about to let the fire flicker out and embers turn to ash. Not now.

His eyes flickered back up to the healer's, and though the golden hues were intensified with need, they scanned over Sage's face, carefully reading his expression. What he saw was his own yearning reflected within bright cerulean and that was all the confirmation he needed. Whatever this was, whatever it was supposed to be, those lingering questions would have to wait.

Diaval surged forward with renewed fervor, his motions purposeful as he overtook the other. Dark shadow merged with moontouched silver, passion instantly fueling this sudden evolution of savior and friend into ardent lover. In a moment of fleeting eternity, the two of them bloomed together only to be consumed by a wildfire. Diaval fed off of the blaze with a nearly insatiable appetite and a silent prayer that it would burn forever…

[Fade to Black…]

He was certain he could hear both of their heartbeats pounding in sync, Diaval now laying on his side, his larger frame curled around Sage's smaller body that was still settled where they'd joined. The Prince drew him in closer, if it was even at all possible, nestling his muzzle in the soft flowing fur of the healer's neck.

He breathed in the mingled scents of herb and flora, expelling a groan of satisfaction as he squeezed his eyes shut. Diaval's eyelids fluttered open, slightly groggy as he nosed the underside of a cinder jaw. "Sage…? He murmured tentatively, trying to check on the other male, suddenly concerned that it had all been too fast, too much.

@Sage

table by Yahtzee-Penguiduck [da]. click for attributions.

H

is chest heaved as Diaval collapsed beside him, pulling him closer into his chest where he relaxed his frame, allowing his body to melt against the male behind him. Refusing to move, Sage relished the feelings that rushed through him, new and exciting and oh so overwhelming. His skin felt electrified, his eyes heavy he laid still as Diaval groaned, nosing over his throat with tiny kisses that threatened to set Sage alight once more.

His name was muttered as a question into the cold night air and he twisted slightly, eyes searching through the mist of love to find Diaval's own before smiling sleepily, wiggling his hips in closer against his lover. The rose-tinted lenses were slowly fading, lying here in the cold, the heat slowly leaving his limbs where fire had once overcome him. Logical thought returned to him and his mind began racing. In his mind he could see Diaval standing before him, proud and confident and so charming. He wasn't meant to like Sage, the quiet herbalist who had always preferred his solitude. If Diaval blazed red like a flame, Sage ran blue like the ocean. He wanted to bask in the glow that was still between them, though it was fading fast in the wake of his own thoughts.

Into the quiet darkness, his doubts left his mouth before he could call his tumbling emotions back into check. "Diaval.." The herbalist whispered. "What am I to you?" What had he hoped to hear? A confession of long harbored love that grew through the summer until it's peak with Sage's return. Of how he had been so lost without him when he had traveled from the area, how he cried every night away on Sage's bed, wishing for his return. The part of him that worked in logic knew this would not be the answer. He knew the answer would plunge him into a moonless night where the darkness would engulf him, heart and soul.

@Diaval

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

He was gifted a view of misty ocean eyes and a smile that put his immediate worries at ease. When Sage wiggled his hips backwards against him, Diaval let out a huff into the nape of his neck, trying to temper the lingering embers as his body reacted to the friction. The dark Prince could've been so easily swayed into another round, but the sound of his name at a whisper compelled him to hold back. "Hm?" He hummed in response, to let Sage know he was listening, his ears swiveled forward, straining to hear what he had to say while he faced the other direction.

"What am I to you?"

Diaval was not expecting that question so shortly after their union and yet, he should have, for the same thoughts lingered in the back of his mind. He was glad Sage was faced the other way or else he would've seen golden eyes flickering about nervously as though searching the open air for an answer that Sage deserved. Home. His lips had parted, but even though this was the first word that popped into his mind when he was asked, he found he could not speak it.

"I...well...I could ask the same of you..." His ears flattened, regretting the sound of what he'd said as soon as it left his mouth. It was a complete cop-out and he realized how manipulative it was to turn it around on the smaller man without answering his question. Why was it then, that he could not amend what he'd just uttered. He felt his mind was twisted as was his heart and he frowned deeply, closing his eyes and tucking his face into the space between Sage's shoulder blades as though he might be able to hide there.

@Sage

table by Yahtzee-Penguiduck [da]. click for attributions.

T

he warm orange glow that had surrounded his heart and soul faded slowly, the words piercing his ears feeling colder than the snow that drifted down so peacefully outside. He stared forward, his own ears mirroring Diaval's as he fought the prickling warmth that threatened to spill over his eyelashes. Jaw locked in place, Sage stayed still as a stone, his back stiffening against the warmth of the body that had only moments ago brought comfort. He stared out into the grey of the night, weighing his options.

Still and silent, the herbalist simply stared into the night, letting the fumbled answer fall heavily over the two of them. For now, he didn't know how to respond. The damaged part of his heart yearned to scream and rage, forcing Diaval from his sight. The tender side, where love still burned, though it sputtered with every heaving breath; wished to pull him closer, tell him all the words he held in his heart. Precious, love, heaven, home. He could fill an entire day with words that would answer the question. For now, he kept his mouth shut. He planned to bring it up in the morning. Maybe apologise. Maybe banish him from his sight. For now, Sage wasn't entirely sure what he wanted. His heart ached, like shards of glass had implanted themselves into the very muscle. He didn't know what to say, or if there was anything he could say. Without moving, he closed his eyes before parting his lips and whispering into the night the only word he could muster. "Something." The tears spilled down over his muzzle, slicking down the fur there. He knew Diaval would see them glistening in the moonlight, if he cared to look.

@Diaval

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

"Something."

Diaval's ears swiveled forward to cradle the word as it fell from Sage's lips. The emotion that bled into such a simple word lifted his head and summoned his golden eyes to peer down at the smaller male. His dark ashen face was stained darker still with a glistening trail of tears that cascaded down the side of his face. As if the emotions were not confusing enough, merely seeing Sage cry wrenched his heart in a horrible awful way. He knew that if anyone else ever did this to the gentle healer, he'd tear them limb from limb...but, what was he to do, when he knew that the cause of his distress was himself...?

His eyes flickered about the soft features of the coastal male's face in a moment's panic, before he reacted instinctively. Rather than leading with his logical mindset, he allowed the emotions that frightened him the most to move him. Diaval leaned his head over and pressed his nose into the damp stream of tears and then offered a tender lick to wipe them away. "Something...is quite the understatement, wouldn't you say?"

Diaval's deep voice murmured against the wisps of hair at Sage's ear as he shifted his hips lightly as he hugged his smaller form closer. "I never meant to make you cry...and I never would have...well, you know...if you...if you weren't 'something' to me as well..." He grumbled slightly as he did his best to articulate what it was that was going through his head and heart.

@Sage

table by Yahtzee-Penguiduck [da]. click for attributions.

C

onfusion was the main emotion as Sage stared at Diaval. The way he twisted in his own words, like he was only trying to say what
Sage wanted to hear, whatever would end the uncomfortable situation. A warm tongue lapped up the tears that fell silently down his face, a soothing action that left Sage feeling so terribly conflicted. Which side of Diaval did he trust? The one who cringed away from his question or the one who rushed forward to soothe him? Were those words just honeyed lies?

He listened to Diaval's reasoning, his heart wanting desperately to believe what he had said. His eyes and heart felt heavy, and he huffed quietly, pushing Diaval's nose away gently with his own. He was too tired to argue, too tired to make sense of the words coming out of the man's mouth. Maybe it would be best to bring it up again in the morning, when the two of them were better rested. Maybe then the heat of the moment will have dissipated enough for the truth to appear before his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Dia. I didn't mean to put you on the spot." He said, holding his emotions at bay. There was no use in showing just how hurt he was now. Diaval would just tell him the same thing over and over again. "I've... Well I've never done this before." He said, turning away to hide the blush that burned in his cheeks. It was the truth, one that he had not intended on revealing, but in his current state he didn't know what else to say that would explain his outburst. It wasn't like he lived in a fairy tale where a coupling meant they were soulmates.
That there would be some grand wedding ceremony the next day, celebrating their love. This was reality, where sometimes people gave in to their instincts, even when the person they blessed with their love never held their heart to begin with. He was naive to believe Diaval felt more for him than the friendship they had cultivated in the passing seasons.

"Come to bed. It's too cold to think. Too cold to argue." He mumbled, curling up on the mat and looking up at Diaval to do the same. "We have all the time in the world to talk."

@Diaval

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

His nose was pushed away and Diaval froze for a moment, ears flattening slightly, before he reluctantly withdrew. He thought to test his muzzle against one of his shoulder blades, but thought perhaps the physical touch was upsetting him further. Then came an apology, which turned his head in a small tilt of mild confusion. "There's no need for an apology. You have every ri-"

"I've... Well I've never done this before."

Those words cut through him as cold as ice, a chill moving over his body at the realization. Diaval's maw instantly clamped shut with an audible click. He watched Sage turn his face away, clearly embarrassed after such an admission, feeling helpless as to what he should do. He didn't seem to want affection...or maybe he did? Diaval took a breath and let it go while trying to formulate the right thing to say. "Ahh..

He thought perhaps he would try to relate to the situation. As a Prince, Diaval had so many lavish parties and he'd definitely slept with a few of the attendees, though he was often under the influence of one thing or another. This night, Sage would have been the first male he'd ever shared a bed with and with a clear head, no less. But, the more he thought about it, there was no way to verbalize all of that without sounding worse than he already did.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" At this point, Diaval wasn't sure if what he asked was all encompassing, referring to physically and emotionally. And even as he asked, he felt that Sage might not answer truthfully in his current state. Either way, he was genuinely concerned for the herbalist and his well-being and he wanted to care for him even if be knew damn well he could care for himself. Sage then curled up and beckoned him to bed, and he would heed his every word.

If Sage wanted him close, he would nestle himself around the smaller silvered brute to keep him warm. If not, if he reacted in a way that would suggest otherwise, he would give him space. "Alright...we can talk about it in the morning then..." He trailed off, trying to make himself comfortable even though the looming subject would hang over his head and make it beyond difficult to simply close his eyes and sleep.

@Sage

table by Yahtzee-Penguiduck [da]. click for attributions.