[ P ] Better

Nothing feels better than this

As Nora strolled through the streets of Aberdeen, she thought about how her life had finally come together. She had a loving man, three beautiful children and and home that was to die for. Anteros had given her back so much of herself after Leoric and those horrible days were all but forgotten.

She'd left the girls with Anteros to get a little 'me time' as it were and go shopping. They needed something for dinner tonight as as she walked closer to the market she could smell the meats and spices in the air. Her black nails clicked on the stone beneath her paws as she walked; she hardly noticed it with the bustle of everyone else around her.

...

As she perused the market she noticed something. Nora's gaze lingered on that something, a someone familiar. A man she'd met once before in the... Lowlands, was it?

Ocean eyes narrowed slightly as she wondered what he was doing in Saora.

She drifted closer, peeling from the crowd to meet him in the street. "It's you..." she commented, an ear flicking back as her brow rose curiously.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, wanting to know why he was not in Rionnach.

code & art by claerie

The day had passed by so quickly, this city so much quieter, more peaceful, than the last one. At least here they didn’t seem to take such a keen interest in urchins, provided that they were respectful and minded their own business. And mind his business he did. He didn’t talk to anyone, not once panhandled for Renown even. He slept out of sight most nights, ate whatever rotten, discarded, or unguarded food there was, and showered only in his dreams. Needless to say, it had been only a couple weeks, and he had fallen apart quite quickly. But he never really had the urge to change his ways, not since the realization had hit him harder than any aggravated, former protege could. Not since… the tarot card reading, really. It was no coincidence that the dealer drew the card she did. The Devil, that’s what he was. She said he was in control… but that night, not even so far behind him… it showed that she was wrong. He was never in control. Awakening from a daze, Savard heard the sounds of busy wolves going about their day, avoiding the sight of him on the street. Their conversations were all meaningless to him, useless in all sorts of ways. They talked around him as they walked around him, pretending he wasn’t there, out of place. He was growing used to this feeling, though, because deep down, he knew he deserved it. In his slumped over stupor, he kept wandering back to that moment, that searing pain. The doctor, who said he cared for him. All those he felt he did a good service towards, and every time he let them down. He really was pathetic, wasn't he? Not even a good father. He deserved this loneliness… for as long as he had left in this life, this was what he was owed, and nothing more. In his desolation, however, a very familiar voice called out to him, one that he instantly recalled. You. That’s what she called him… and asked what he was doing here. Here, as in in her newly proclaimed Kingdom, the spoils of her war, living as lowly as a wolf could. He felt self-conscious to be recognized by someone he knew… but he had to be sure. Slowly, the washed-up mercenary’s head raised, revealing his matted, bandaged face, and the remnants of his loss still very fresh in his mind. His bandage was quality, but dirty. His wound clean, but obvious. Still… it was touching that someone like that certain northerner would be capable of recognizing him at his lowest. “Sitting down,” Savard spoke, his voice raspy, “that’s not illegal in your nation, is it? Or have you come to gloat?”

everything he touched fell apart

code // art

Nothing feels better than this

As he turned to face her, she noticed immediately the bandage that covered his eye. Concern flashed across her features as she peered at him, ears flicking at his comment. "I just thought you'd be living in Rionnach. So I was curious to see you here," she answered truthfully.

She knew it was rude to stare, and even ruder to ask but she had to. "What... happened to you?" she questioned softly.

If she had to guess she suspected he was either damaged or eyeless under that bandage but she did not know how that had come to be. Nora grimaced slightly as she recalled Nimue and how she'd damaged her eye as well during the war. They'd made fragile amends afterward, it seemed, but Nora would always feel guilty for her part in wounding the woman.

She wasn't sure what else to say to the man so she fell silent, contemplative as the crowds passed them by.

code & art by claerie

Rionnach. Just to hear that name put him in a better place. Savard might have been independent, might have cared little for what would happen to him past this point. And yet… going home sounded quite good about now. The north had not been kind to him, especially with how he looked right now. He never was handsome… but now, with his vision so flat, so vague, he felt like a husk, never so useless and so pathetic in all his life. And yet, in a weird way, he felt he deserved it. He deserved all of it, except Nora’s company. There was a part of him that wanted to tell her what had happened, as if he could trust her with the truth. But he knew, deep down, that that would only serve to inconvenience her. She had so much going for herself, anyhow. Whatever he was her to her was far less valuable than what anyone else was to her. It would spare her the pain he felt if he were to answer her question directly, to appear the least bit kind or considerate or charismatic. It would be better for the both of them if she lost any sort of reason to like him. ”What the fuck do you think happened,” Savard growled in a retort, returning her stare towards him in a most uncouth, bitter manner, “what… you want me to take the bandage off or something?” Surely, she meant no offense by her question to him, and perhaps a part of him knew as much. But maybe it was his way of saying that he did not want to have the company of any wolf that knew him, at this time. He didn’t even mean to sound so apathetic towards her, didn’t mean to say what he had said, or what he would say. But in truth, the sooner she forgot about Savard having ever been a wolf she knew, the better. “Is that why you’ve found me, hm?” Savard went on, “what, you’ve come to gloat, is that it? Gloat on your shitty, hollow victory against conscripts? I’m sure you feel so proud, you get to celebrate with a parade, you get to call your land Saora, you get to feel you’re free now.” Standing up uneasily, Savard saw no reason to do anything less but to scare Nora away. After all, it’s not like they were close anyhow, that they had any reason to be friends or allies or anything. Whatever kinship they had, it was all based on falsehood, on deceit. They had no reason to see eye to eye anyhow. They disagreed about war having any meaning to it, and among anyone else, that would put them on opposite sides of the battlefield. “Well, how about it, Nora of Clan Seafarer,” Savard bellowed, in a loud, obnoxious voice, “was it worth all the friends you had to bury? All the pain you and yours endured? Does it all feel so fucking righteous? All for an imaginary line in the dirt! You wanna know what happened to me? I bore witness to Saoran hospitality, and now look at me! I've lost everything.”

everything he touched fell apart

code // art

Nothing feels better than this

Nora didn't know Savard from a hole in the wall, but she didn't expect him to react to her presence so aggressively. ”What the fuck do you think happened,” he bit back and at the growl in his tone her ears titled back against her head. "I --" she started, trying to voice her confusion, but he was not done. "What… you want me to take the bandage off or something?” She blinked, closing her mouth and staring at him. She had asked out of concern and curiosity, not because she enjoyed any amount of his pain. He carried on, asking her about the war now and if it was all worth it in the end. Apparently 'Saoran hospitality' had cost him this injury and she was at a loss as to what that meant, exactly.

"Why would I gloat?" she asked. They had won, in a way, but it wasn't the win she'd wanted. She'd wanted more but this was what they'd gotten and honestly it was good enough. "If it costed you so much why are you still here?" she added, staring at him now with curiosity in her ocean blue eyes. The anger he was feeling was directed at her but she was not the cause. "What Saoran hospitality are you talking about? Did Jacob's men do this to you?" What had he done to deserve it?

code & art by claerie

Much to his displeasure, it seemed that Nora still clung to that civilized, respectful wolf that she had met all those months earlier, as her ideal version of Savard.Not the decrepit, destitute monster that she saw before her. She did the exact opposite of what he wanted out of her, speaking in a calm, collected manner in an attempt to get to the bottom of how he felt. He didn’t need pity, he didn’t anyone or anything. He had done nothing but throw every conceivable insult her way, twist the knife into her guts, and yet, she seemed more than interested in carrying on a conversation with him. He wasn’t anticipating this to be so difficult… it made him rethink his tone of voice a bit… as if he wasn’t quite sure anymore if it was the right thing to do. And yet, he had committed to this being the way she’d remember him. The way he deserved to be remembered, if he could have his choice. “I don’t have answers to anything,” he eventually replied, his tone much more subdued, albeit momentarily, “but I don’t have any need for them, do I?” He felt so self-conscious, to be seen in such a state by a wolf he knew. It felt almost personal, that this was the time she chose to show up again his life. Just in time to see him fall apart, and all as a means to mock him. She asked honest questions, why she’d gloat, why he’d stay here, if Jacob were responsible. Did she want some sort of opening up? Some sort of resolution here and now? She didn’t care about him, he was certain of it. And if she did, he didn’t deserve her friendship. “I got nowhere else to go,” eventually answered, his stare blank, lifeless, “no need to go back home. I never had a problem with Jacob, except for how he lied to folks stupid enough to believe him. But all this… this is just a comedy. Doesn’t it seem that way, Nora? A fucking joke.”

everything he touched fell apart

code // art