will it ever be more than a dream

The rising temperatures had brought with them a tense peace that itched at Atlas’ mind. Was it sustainable? It offered both nations, north and south, a chance to have a paw over the border and for him it was an opportunity to run into his runaway crush. A hasty kiss had been his parting gift and Atlas’ head had been spinning since, wondering if it had all been a dream visited upon him by the fae. The young professor stepped over the boundary that now promised a welcome instead of aggression and took in a breath. Snow had covered Aberdeen the first time he had dared venture over the border. Now summer was in full bloom and so were the festivities of the parade that brought the people together again. “Oops. Excuse me,” he mumbled apologies as he was bounced from shoulder to chest and even someone's unfortunate chin which cost a few hairs of his tail from an angry Saoran.

He found himself chased to the edges of the parade, looking around forlornly, hoping to see a flash of russet and ruby. It was a fool’s errand, trying to search for that one in one hundred Saoran when he only knew his name and not where he lay his head at night.

code: elyon | art: renallia

Agitation flared in the young man, looking around aimlessly for his beloved sisters, expecting them both to be as enraged as he was at the border's gates being open to the masses no matter the alignment. He felt his fur bristle, wanting to know what they had truly fought for if all could be thwarted just to possibly gain as ally, he could only assume. Why else would Jacob risk his people so willingly to the very beasts that left everyone broken and battered? None of it made any sense to him, his ears pinned the whole time he roamed the land from one end to the other, allowing scents to swirl into his nostrils as if taking in a fine wine. It was all muddied, all meshed together with those he couldn't find full welcome within his heart to give. Crimsons were burning, his also spying for the motion of a dark pelt and those bewitching potion eyes that haunted his mind every time he closed his eyes.

At least the pain was a ghost of what it once was, finding moving around far easier than he once did. He knew how to position his hip with each step to prevent the dragging of a useless leg, though he found himself panting and quickly losing energy from moving for so long.

Quietly, he would come to a stop, overlooking the gorgeous waters that stretched far and wide. Water had become a memory, one for two very different wolves that made his heart ache. He missed the girl that would come to assist in his healing sessions, assist in teaching him the common tongue. He was still archaic in how he spoke it, but it was better than nothing at all. The other face belonged to a boy of soft cashmere and peace on his mind. One so different from war and malice.

Taking in a breath, he would slowly lower his head till he was crouched down, staring into his own reflection. Most of all, it reminded him of the ghosts that haunted him everywhere he went as he saw his brothers face looking back at him once more. Would the mirror turn real once again and speak of how foolish he was once more for thinking his family wished he was someone else even still?

table ; bunny manip ; wisper

A brooding back and sullen shoulders were all Atlas could see of the boy who never left his mind, but he knew the familiar dark reddish cloak that was licked at by hungry bright embers without needing to see his cryptic scarlet eyes gazing at the ocean. Atlas loped down the beach, approaching Raith with a friendly sway in his flame dipped tail. His pale reflection rippled in the waves, revealing a slight worried curve of his lips and wrinkle between the dots of his brow. He was thinking of the dream that might not have been a dream and a kiss that tasted of tears. “Are you enjoying the parade?” he asked, thinking the words seemed far too insignificant for the gravity of the moment. “Some of the activities look intriguing..” he trailed off, purple-silver eyes watching the dancers intently, tail tip twitching along with the music. The desire to dance with his fox-furred companion fluttered within his chest and his tongue flopped in his mouth like a fish out of water as he tried to build up the courage to ask.

He didn't want to push Raith into a corner especially since their last encounter had ended so confusingly and emotionally so he let the knowledge of his interest in the parade’s activities sit with him until he had a clearer idea of Raith’s state of mind. The highlander had made no secret of his family's disdain for outsiders so he wasn't certain that Raith would be very open to the idea of taking part in the festivities.

code: elyon | art: renallia

He was having a hard time enjoying what might have been a peaceful location if not for the rowdy visitors that weren’t wholly welcomed in here, at least by him. A tail flicked back and forth, trying to find some silence within, allowing meditation to start taking over his mind like he did so much more often when he was a kid to get away from the reality of being a disappointment. Just as his breathing was starting to steady and his mind was starting to enter the comforting void, any tranquility would shatter like a windowpane hit by a rock, but the pieces didn’t fall down to make a chaotic mess that could result in stepping on shards. He tried to stay still, return to the void, though as the voice came a second time, his head would quickly snap back so he could take in the boy of sweet pastel, and he felt his ears falling shyly as he looked at him.

Suddenly he felt so nervous, a feeling he only ever really got with his father. It wasn’t quite the same. There was a different kind of yearning, not one relishing the idea of praise and a love he never felt he knew. Rubies searched for quiet answers, unable to look away from those lilac orbs gazing away from him that he hadn’t seen in two long seasons. Never was there a moment when he thought that night in winter had been purely a dream, it had all felt too real, and the stains of tears had drawn the attention of others in the town later that same day. None of it had been fake, all of it was the work of the fae just as perhaps it was now.

Was the parade the work of the fae so they could see each other again?

The idea made a smile turn up the corners of his lips as his eyes softened and he shakily got up, having rested long enough to find it a little easier to stand again. No words were uttered by the male or fire, purely pulled on a string he was failing to ignore as he nestled his forehead into Atlas’ shoulder with his eyes tightly closed, resting there while he counted each breath he made and took in the warmth he might gather. That he missed.

Words were never his strong suit but perhaps this action would be enough to convey the feelings he couldn't understand enough to respond.

table ; bunny manip ; wisper

There was no verbal confirmation shared between them, but he understood the subtle intent behind Raith’s gentle touch and welcomed the affection with a contented sigh. It caused Atlas’ heart to dance with nervous excitement. Too long had passed since their last meeting which he was now certain hadn’t been a dream after all. A feathery cheek snuggled into the forehead leaning into his shoulder, bolder now in exploring his feelings since he sensed that they were being reciprocated. He drew away with a smile upon his pale lips and warmth in his purple-grey eyes. “Would you like to dance with me, Raith? he asked, tilting his head hopefully. He knew it might be awkward for Raith to dance since his injured leg affected his balance, but surely they could manage to stay upright with seven good legs between them?

“Or we could give some of the festival games a go. I’m not good at the physical ones, but I’m sure I could win you a prize if there’s a quiz or something,” he offered more suggestions on how they might enjoy the day together. It was sounding more and more like a date the more he thought about it and he decided that he quite liked the idea of that and he was certain that Raith would feel the same. They had shared a kiss after all. The first one of his short life and it was one that he would never forget.

code: elyon | art: renallia

It was nice not having to talk, to be able to express everything with touch with someone outside of his blood, having no such connection with anyone outside of Searla and his mother. His tail gently swished from side to side as his gesture was returned in full, feeling the flush of a cheek along his crown without an ounce of hesitation as if they had always done this. In a way, perhaps they had, though this was the least violent variation of it so far. No tackling or pinning the smaller male to the ground like he had done two other times, just a peaceful moment of them melting together in an embrace that felt so needed after everything else that had been going on. As much as he wanted to be able to speak so openly, to let some of his weight be lifted in a way that holding it in could never do, he didn’t want to burden the boy of cotton candy.

He was disappointed when contact was lifted, it was apparent by the pout that lined the colorful one’s muzzle that wanted further attention and had been close to scooting closer in order to obtain it. Instead, a question would stop any such thoughts from coming to fruition as mentions of dancing were introduced. Dance? He stared at the other for a long while as the idea sunk in, having never really danced in his life, let alone with another wolf. His gaze trailed around the soft features of the other, as if quietly asking how. It made little sense to him and what he had seen of dancing looked a bit stupid.

An ear twitched a tad at the mention of other things, not so sure what kind of festivities were even going on. He hadn’t come here to play or enjoy what was going on, let alone partake in these trivial little get togethers that would probably end poorly with most wolves he knew. His gaze shifted away a touch, his paw shuffling some dirt around as he debated if joining in was even a good idea. His family would no doubt be angry if they saw them, though he wasn’t sure in which direction they would go. Ejecting him from the family or hurting Atlas. It made him swallow, not wanting the second option at all.

“Can… we do something in private?” the words came out a touch nervous. Though it was very subtle, compared to his monotone notes, it was starkly obvious the way the notes trembled.

table ; bunny manip ; wisper

The beach was bustling with life and laughter. Atlas felt a sense of peace in the unity and wished it was something that could endure. If it did then he wouldn't have to steal time with Raith like this. It had been seasons since they last saw each other and he didn't know when they would have another chance to see him as freely. Lilac-silver eyes sparkled with amusement at the sour curve of his crush’s lips and he gave in, settling his chin against Raith's shoulder with a happy little hum. Here he didn't have to worry about family drama or his studies. It was only him and the boy he liked enjoying a moment together.

“Of course. It should be quieter further up the beach,” Atlas agreed, realising himself how risky it was for them to be affectionate in public. If his mother and father were enjoying the celebrations too then he would have to suffer his father’s disapproval. He knew in his heart that he would stand against such bias, but he wasn't ready to deal with the fall out just yet. Not when he and Raith were still figuring out what they were.

“I’m glad you came. I didn't know if I would see you again after…” he sighed, expression betraying how lonely he had been during their time apart. “Are you doing better now?” he asked gently, recalling how distraught he had been during their last encounter. He could only guess why he had been so upset that day with what little he knew about his circumstances. He was relieved that it hadn't caused him to avoid him when he’d first approached.

code: elyon | art: renallia

He could see entertainment buzz in the other’s eyes while he threw a silent tantrum, though he was surprised when he got what he wanted, jolting a touch when touch was reestablished. His tail twitched back and forth but would slow down, calming to the gentle hum as if it could melt all his tensions away in an instant. The sound of the water next to them only aided in that tranquility, wanting to drift into the silent breeze with each rolling wave that just missed lapping at their toes. It would take one wind shift, and they would be drenched in a moment but for now that didn’t seem to be a problem as he gazed at the seagulls that fluttered around the sky in droves, likely hunting scraps the party goers were dropping here and there.

That bit of comfort would come to an end just as he was about to close his eyes as his request was answered, making him get up a bit shaky once more. It would take him a second to get his proper balance as he walked, thinking a little too much about not making a fool of himself as he stalked along the sands. It made moving around both easier and harder all at once, feeling like he was a puppy learning to walk all over again. He’d occasionally tip into Atlas when his paw slipped into wet sand then loose sand, forever a challenge to get from one area to the next. At least he didn’t live here, he’d probably break his neck one day from the sand twisting his ankle then drowning in high tide.

“I didn’t come out of a desire to… I’m looking for my sisters. Searla has been distant ever since the war and Ro… I haven’t seen her in a long time and I’m worried. They’d probably hurt any Mainlanders they see, too,” he said a little too plainly, quick to dismiss he was here for celebrations of unity. He thought this whole event was ill timed but so far nothing bad had happened and that was good at least. “But I’m happy to run into you, a few too many times,” he mused, the sand giving perfect timing of making him lose balance again and buckle into a pastel side though he didn’t draw away from it this time, staying in place.

His ears bent back, sorrow lining his brow to the following question. “No. No one seems to be getting along now in my family. It’s like I’m all alone now… I don’t… I wonder if it's all my fault. I was the one that started the seed of doubt when it came to father’s lead. I sometimes wonder if it would be best if I just stayed gone,” he admitted, looking toward the soft features of the other boy.

table ; bunny manip ; wisper

There was a sense of serenity by the ocean and the sound of the waves as it lapped at the coast line. Atlas’ mind had been far from peaceful of late, caught between worry for his family and fear that he might not see Raith again. It was easy being by his side, there was no fear, only certainty in his heart with how he felt. He walked besides Raith, shoulder to shoulder, occasionally allowing their fur to brush together before he bashfully withdrew, skin pink to his ear tips. “Can I help you look for them? I’ll try not to be as mainlander,” he asked, raising one of his brows and tilting his head. Though he knew he would likely be denied since he spent most of his time in the mainlands and had grown up there. It was hard to hide such accents and speech patterns. “I’m glad t-” he broke off when Raith’s solid mass collided into him, using his surprisingly solid frame to steady the other boy who didn’t seem in a hurry to pull away so Atlas stayed by his side.

[[“You’re not all alone and it’s not your fault, Raith. I.. I would be sad if you stayed gone,” he admitted, purple-silver eyes shining with sadness. “I understand… a little. My siblings are in a feud and it’s suffocating being trapped in the middle. I wish everyone would get along like we did when we were kids, but I don’t know if we’ll ever be like that again,” he sighed, pale lips forming a melancholic smile.

code: elyon | art: renallia