[ P ] put the gun down

He had spent every waking hour of every day for months now, searching and asking and following any leads he could find in an increasingly desperate attempt to locate his sister. He went so far as to take a personal leave from the Army - temporary, of course - to focus his efforts and utilize what resources available to him to further his efforts. Months had passed, and while he didn't give up, didn't slack off, his faith was starting to wane.

But then the notice of divorce came. Augustus was no longer his brother in law, and while it was horrific news, it told him enough that she was still alive, wherever she was. In response, he doubled down. His questions became miniature interrogations, and after a few more weeks of nothing, he finally had a crumb. A large white wolf he'd found in a bar eluded to him possibly knowing where she was, and Roman clung to that, asking him to get her to meet him back here.

The man said he would see what he could do.

And so Roman waited, sitting at a wooden table in the corner of the bar now with claws tapping against the rough surface. Green eyes darted to the door of the tavern each time it opened, hope filling his lungs only to deflate as it was never Senkas face. Was she even going to come? Why had she gone so long not even speaking to him? Especially so soon after their father's death; it was an open wound within him that could not heal, and her disappearance only tore it open further.

The waitress came and left a glistening pint of beer for him, with a wink and a mention of it being on the house. Tipping his muzzle in thanks, he went back to watching the door intently.

ooc: backdated to when the babies were still potatoes

It hadn't come as a surprise, exactly, when word reached them—well, reached Odysseus—about her family looking for her. She ordinarily affords him his privacy, but the voices had been low and angry, and they'd been about her, and her brother. Senka couldn't help how guilty it made her feel to learn that Roman had been looking for her relentlessly, and she'd simply disappeared without a word. She'd been so confident in her selfish need for her own happiness that she hadn't stopped to consider the impact it might have on her family to vanish from society without bothering to send word to them. Of course, it hadn't been entirely innocent; she can only guess at what Roman might have to say once he knows the entirety of the situation. Her mother would no doubt be worse.

In the end, she'd convinced Odysseus to spare the messenger and agree to a meeting with Roman. Senka is under no false impression that tonight will go smoothly; Odysseus seemed ready to have an aneurysm when she asked him to wait outside, despite her promise that she will be fine. She can't walk into that bar with the overprotective guard dog hovering over her—Roman would punch first and ask questions later, and Odysseus would rise to that challenge without a second thought.

Well aware that the clock of his patience is ticking down, Senka collects herself and steps into the tavern. It takes all of five seconds to locate her brother, who had been staring at the door with enough intensity to burn a hole into it. Her ears tip back a little guiltily, but she makes her way across the floor towards him, weaving through chattering patrons until she's standing in front of him. "Hey," she offers quietly, wanting to fold herself into his familiar warmth, but hesitating, uncertain if he'll prove to be upset enough with her to refuse Senka's affection.

art // code

Roman often did not allow himself to feel his emotions. The Army was quick to iron out each soldiers ability to feel, and morphed them into machines before they even graduated from cadets. Already a stoic man, this trait worsened after their father's death, and ultimately resulted in a tidal wave of emotions that came blasting through his dam of restraint upon seeing his sister.

For there was no other wolf that he afforded to see this side of him - not even their other sister, Taisa. As Senkas familiar form came through the doorway, Roman stood immediately and crossed the bar quicker than she. But she stopped before him, offering a timid greeting, and he simply snorted before diminishing what distance was left between the two of them and wrapped his arms tightly around her.

“Senka,” her name was whispered hoarsely, and he refused to allow her to see the tears that brimmed his eyes. They were quickly blinked away as he inhaled her scent, finding her perfume washing over him and calming the fried nerves that had frazzled over the last few months during his search. He breathed, focusing on easy, deep breaths before finally, after a few long moments, he pulled away.

It took him another moment to realize that it wasn't just her perfume that clung to her furs. There was another scent, foreign to him but unmistakable as a male. Green eyes sharpened, but he studied her face in silence. She was healthy at least, even though she looked… different. He was unable to place exactly why though. Perhaps she was just happier, doing whatever it was she was doing now?

But why without her family? He thought he meant more to her than this. To be abandoned.

He was getting ahead of himself.

Roman cleared his throat, taking shallow breaths now in an effort for his subconscious not to focus on that scent he didn't know.

“Where have you been? I've been sick with worry,” he began, grimacing as his voice broke again. He cleared his throat again; an attempt to appear strong again. “I missed you. Look, I get needing to… get away,” it was difficult for him to talk about their dad's death, and he only hoped she understood what he was trying to imply, “but seriously, a letter or something would have been nice.” And why do you smell like another man? He was trying to be nice. He had to be. Mother would lash him if he scared her off again. But already he was on edge; the dark fur along his spine prickling. Something was wrong. He had a sneaking suspicion she wouldn't be coming home, either.

Roman doesn't hesitate for even an instant, wrapping her into his embrace, and Senka has to choke back a sob of relief as she buries her face into his chest. She doesn't know how she ever thought he would look at her with the same kind of disappointment as either of their parents would have; a part of her had been afraid that he would try too hard to fill the void left with their father's death, but he is still Roman, the boy she'd been thick as thieves with when they were children. He hasn't changed—she has.

She's regained her composure by the time he pulls back, sniffing softly, and steels her spine against the scrutiny of her brother's assessment. Senka no longer makes any effort to wash the scent of Odysseus from her fur, and whilst she can tell that Roman has noticed it, he doesn't say anything. They're alike in that way—they calculate a situation long before they ever speak on it.

"Where have you been?" His tone is strained enough that Senka's ears twist back again, guilt washing over her. "I'm sorry," she breathes, her throat working on a swallow. "I'm so sorry." She isn't sorry for what she'd done to Augustine, but she never meant to make her family fear the worst for her fate. "I was ill for a while and I just—I wasn't thinking straight. I never meant to make you worry." It's not a lie, really; Senka had been bedridden for the majority of her pregnancy, and perhaps if Odysseus had a higher opinion of her family, he might have considered sending word on her behalf, but she'd burned that bridge the night she'd told him how she came to be Augustine's wife. It doesn't matter that Roman was a child, too—not to Odysseus.

Glancing over her shoulder, Senka eyes the door and the bar's patrons for a moment, and then swivels her gaze back to Roman. "Can we go somewhere to talk?" she suggests with a faint nod towards the stairs that lead to the rooms upstairs. Even without him in the building yet, she can all but feel Odysseus breathing down her neck, and she has no desire to be in such a public eye whenever he inevitably comes through that door. That, and they are uncomfortably close to Sussex, where anyone might recognize her. It doesn't matter much to her anymore, but Senka will do anything to prevent Augustine from knowing anything about her current situation.

art // code

She offers apologies, following it up with some vague, half assed attempt at an explanation. It gives him nothing. Suspicion pools in his blood, flooding every crevice of his body as he stares at her, his green eyes hardening to glittering jewels. What the hell was going on?

And then her eyes dart to the door, her behaviour nervous, twitchy, so unlike his sister. What had happened to her? Was she a victim of something? Was she being trafficked? Abducted? Was this some kind of ruse to get her family off of her tail, to show she was “okay” and she was about to tell him not to contact him again?

Thousands of scenarios played in his mind, with only seconds passing by.

“Can we go somewhere to talk?” She then suggests, and he glances at the door. Someone was out there. This much he was certain of. His gaze lingers there for a moment before he looks back to his sister with a curt nod.

He follows her up the stairs, and into a room where the door clicks shut behind them softly. Once they were appropriately out of earshot of anyone, he whirled around. Ebony hairs now stood bristled down the length of his spine, and his ears swiveled forward.

“Okay, what the fuck is going on, Senka? Why are you acting like a beaten housewife?” It was difficult to keep the growl from his voice - not because he was pissed at his sister, but he was angry at anyone who could possibly have this kind of effect on her. His thoughts were running wild with the possibilities, and each second that ticked by was only increasing his frustration. He needed to know the details now.

Augustine was the furthest thought from his mind, because in all honesty he didn't give a fuck about him.

Roman manages to keep his cool long enough for them to get up the stairs and away from the public eye, and then he's whirling on her, and she can't quite tell if he's angry at her or for her. It doesn't matter, though; he's wrong. "That's a little dramatic," she returns firmly, lifting her chin and meeting his near-frantic stare with an unwavering one of her own. "I'm fine, Roman. I promise." Senka is so much more than fine, but she can't even begin to explain that to her brother without explaining a whole lot else first.

"I’m sorry I didn’t reach out to you. That was unfair of me. But I swear to you, I’m not being beaten or held against my will.” The truth is that Odysseus couldn’t get rid of her now even if he wanted to—but it brings her deep satisfaction to know that he doesn’t. “Augustine has a lot of friends here. I didn’t want to draw attention, and I need you to understand why I left him.” It may have taken longer, but with or without Odysseus’s involvement, Senka thinks she and Augustine would have been destined to fail anyway. She just didn’t see it until she was given a push. “He isn’t who you think he is. He’s a dirty politician, a drunk, and a loose cannon.”

Senka chews on her lip and then begins to pace, before she spills everything she knows about Augustine’s shady behavior, his friends in the Thieves Guild, his inability to stay sober for a single waking hour—and through it all, she never once brings up Odysseus. Who he is will no doubt be an even bigger concern to Roman, but she’ll cross that bridge when she gets to it. “I know I have a duty,” she says, finally stopping her pacing when she’s finished incriminating her ex-husband, “but I couldn’t stay with him a minute longer, Roman. I left Sussex to stay with—a friend. He keeps me safe.” He keeps all of them safe, and he’s so much more than her friend, but she isn’t ready yet to tell her brother the rest of it.

She thinks he might self-destruct when she does.

art // code

“That’s a little dramatic,” lips peel over his teeth at this remark, and if he didn’t have better resolve, he may have spat. But he needed information from her, about her, and she was still his sister. He bit down a growl as she continued. And god did she talk. Mention of Augustine pricked his ears forward, his eyes watching her as she paced around the room as if her body was full of piss and vinegar. Confusion blossomed across his face, obliterating the anger that was there a second ago. Thieves Guild. Drunk. Dirty politics. It all spelled disaster. What would their father think? What would he do? That was on Romans shoulders now as he tried to maintain his composure for her sake.

“I left Sussex to stay with– a friend.” her big brother immediately notices the hesitation. His eyes narrow.

“He keeps me safe,” Ears now flatten against his dark helm. “I’m sure he does,” Roman replies quietly, his voice dangerously soft. So there was a man that was keeping her from her family. Black lips were sucked between his teeth as he chewed on them until he tasted blood.

“I appreciate the explanation on your ex-husband. I figured something had… gone wrong. You’ve always been smart,” Roman takes a deep, wary sigh as he drops his hindquarters to sit heavily on the ground. “But you’ve given me a cake with no creamy innards. You’re leaving details out, aren’t you?” he is not mad. This much is obvious, despite his prior heated disposition. “I may be in the Army, but I am not stupid.” Now, there could possibly be traces of hurt. Why would she hide anything from him? He had only ever wanted to look out for her, to keep her safe.

But it appears he has been replaced.

She should have expected it, but Roman pegs her on what she isn't saying in an instant, content to brush off Augustine like yesterday's news and push her for the secrets she's holding onto. Senka bites her lip before she crosses the room to him, mirroring her brother's position and sinking onto her haunches. "Yeah," she breathes in soft agreement, her features slackening, "I'm leaving out details." She's leaving out how full her heart is, how she can spend hours just watching the soft rise and fall of her childrens' chests in sleep, how seeing Odysseus with them makes her want to cry and kiss him all in the same breath. How it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of her, so long as she has this family she's certain she doesn't deserve but she'll cling to with both fists regardless.

She draws in a slow breath, meets Roman's stare, and rips the band-aid off.

"I cheated on Augustine." Senka spares her brother the details, leaving out the fact that their father's death had sent her on a spiral that she used Odysseus to cope with. It's so much more than that now, no matter how they got here. Before Roman can interject, she continues, "and I lied earlier. I wasn't ill the last few months. I was pregnant." Granted, she'd barely managed to even make it out of bed for the majority of her pregnancy, but it had worried Odysseus to no end, so she decides not to shoulder Roman with the same concern. She's fine now, and that's all that matters.

Uncertain how he's going to react to that bombshell, Senka leans forward with a soft, genuine smile, pressing her brow to her brother's. "They're so perfect, Ro," she whispers fervently. "They're the most perfect things I've ever seen. I've never had something that's mine before, but they are—they're mine and I love them more than I thought it was possible to love anything, and," she takes only one breath before she steamrolls on urgently, not allowing Roman to get a word in edgewise, "and I know Mom will be furious, and Dad would've been too—." Her lip trembles, and Senka sniffs sharply. "But please tell me you'll try to love them, even if you're mad at me. I want you to know them. I want them to know you. And please try not to start a fight with Odysseus when he—"

The sudden squeal of the door hinges complaining about being shoved open breaks through the hushed tone of her voice like a gunshot, cutting Senka off as she lifts her head quickly—though with no notable concern—to look over Roman's shoulder and find Odysseus there. "...when he comes up here," she finishes quietly, more for herself than either of them. If she has to jump in between the two men she loves, it will break her heart. Her mother's disdain, even Taisa's, she can handle—but not Roman's. Never Roman's.

art // code

Odysseus is on the verge of blowing a fuse. Ghost had showed up days prior with a message - Senkas brother was looking for her and wanted to meet. News of her family wasn’t a shock, especially with her absence from society last few months. It was only logical that they would come searching, especially when the notice of her divorce was sent out. What he did not expect was for Ghost to open his mouth to a stranger neither himself nor the white wolf knew. Senkas eavesdropping ended up being what saved the white wolf’s hide. She wanted to see her brother. Odysseus would concede but not before promising to turn Ghost into his alias, an actual ghost, the next time he spoke of his family with a stranger.

He stood outside the bar, alone. Senka had insisted on going in alone at first, something about wanting to explain to her brother what had happened in these recent months before Odysseus stormed in. So he sat, practically vibrating with chaotic energy. There wasn’t a good vantage point to see into the bar from outside, much to his dismay and he was suddenly regretting the freedom he’d given her. She was the mother of his children now.

It felt an eternity passed though he really had no idea how much time had actually passed. But he could wait no longer. Rising to his paws, he shoved open the bar door and stepped inside. Odysseus moved like a black cloud in a storm, housing the rumble of thunder, his skin zinging with the electrical charge of lightning. It took all of two seconds to find that Senka is no longer on the main floor. His hackles bristle on their own accord. A few impatient questions to the bartender and Odysseus finds himself being directed upstairs. A discontented growl forms in his throat as he climbs the stairs, one at a time.

Following her scent was easier up here, away from a majority of the patrons. Despite the urgency he felt, his pace was unhurried. Reaching a door from where her scent stopped, he didn’t knock as he swung it open unceremoniously, letting to bang against the wall before he stepped inside. Amethyst eyes immediately landed on Senka, she was just as fine as she was when she walked in. Her supposed brother wouldn’t see him coming, with his back foolishly turned to the door. Judging for the lack of surprise on Senkas face, he had no doubts that Senka was aware he would breathing down her neck in the next few seconds.

Coming to her side, he silently brushed his shoulder against hers, hovering possessively. “Senka.” He breathed her name before pressing his nose to her cheek in a chaste kiss. Relief spread across his skin. She was okay. When his attention fixated on the man across from her, it was a miracle that he managed to not scowl, but his expression was still by no means warm and welcoming. The Barin heir offered no introduction, he didn’t extend his hand in greeting, he hadn’t even sat down yet.

"speech"

eat my way into perdition
to taste you

code // art

His sister caves, admitting to leaving details out and it leaves a sour taste on his tongue. But he remains quiet, ears tilted forward as he gives her his undivided attention. Surely, whatever she had been up to could be explained, or overwritten as to not upset their mother. He was certain they could get through this, that she would come home and they'd be a family unit again. He missed her terribly, as with her absence there were two holes in their home since their father's death.

“I cheated on Augustine,” the first blow, but Roman remained unfazed.

“And I lied earlier,” the second, which made his ears twitch and a frown deepen upon his maw. The two siblings were close, and never had Roman ever lied to his sister. Their parents, yes, but not her. This admittance hurt him gravely. But he had no time to react.

“I was pregnant,” a third blow, this one punching him in the jaw. A whoosh of air escaped his lungs; a breath he didn't realize he was holding. His eyes widened, incredulous as he stared at this woman in front of him. Was this even Senka? But she pushed on, unrelenting as she unloaded all her bad decisions upon him.

“--I want them to know you,--”

Roman focused on his breathing as the edges of his vision shivered with red.

“--And please try not to start a fight with Odysseus when he comes up here…”

He was reeling. He gave up on his breathing exercises, and stood up abruptly as he heard the door open. A dark man strode into the room, taking his position near Senka with a disgusting protectiveness that made him want to vomit. Bile rose in the back of his throat, tainting his taste buds as he just stared at them. The sperm donor didn't even have the respect to give his name, let alone introduce himself in any capacity, instead shrouding his sister in some sick possessive cloud of black.

Words failed him. His father, if he was here, would be exploding in rage. Muscles shook uncontrollably under his dark pelt, but he refused to give this excuse of a man the satisfaction of thinking Senkas brother was unstable.

Breathing exercises, just as he had been taught in anger management. In, out, in… out…

Closing his eyes for a moment, Roman steadied himself. Channeled the unbridled rage. A training dummy would be beaten to a pulp later tonight.

Opening his eyes again, he looked at Senka and decided to completely ignore her black shadow.

“So what did you name them, then?” His voice was tense, controlled anger brimming just below the surface. But he tried to reign it in, if just for the sake of his… suddenly promiscuous sister.