remember the moments

"I think you're doing this on purpose," Eleanor chastised, as if she wasn't totally swooning over the declaration of Freyja's devotion or the pleasant tingles her breath incited against a golden ear. Her paw moved with the intention of playfully pushing the other's face away, but the pressure it applied was half-hearted. She didn't want her to move, not even in jest – not ever.

The motion's objective was instead reversed when Eleanor pulled Freyja closer, reciprocating her affections by peppering plentiful kisses of her own across the great white expanse of rugged tissue. Scars had never necessarily been features that attracted the noblewoman, having entertained men with pockets filled with enough coin to purchase an army if it meant they could keep their hands clean. That she associated them with Mutt only proved to further sour her opinion... until she'd met Freyja, that is. Everything she considered repulsive in another was reconciled by the Valkyrie captain's very existence, subverting all Eleanor thought she knew about what she'd wanted. She had patronized a lowly street urchin for each mar she saw on him... yet, every time her lips brushed a scar veiled by ivory fur, all she wanted to know was how it got there.

Freyja was the living embodiment of the fantasy novels that Eleanor cherished, a story she desperately wanted to read.

Putting the essence of her thoughts into existence, an inquisitive tone accompanied the Calyx heir's sultry voice, "And what if I desire to know you? Like no one else does?"

code: elyon | art: rott-gutt

IF I WAS YOU I'D

R U N

“On purpose? Says the woman who pressed her lips against mine first..." Freyja rested her chin on the silken flow of the golden fur of Eleanor's chest, poking her bottom lip out in a small pout. A paw lifted towards the marauder's face and she lifted her head, her lips pulled into a cheeky grin, giving gentle affectionate nips to Eleanor's wrist before nestling her muzzle against it to inhale her perfume that complimented her natural, floral scent.

Freyja was surprised again to instead be pulled towards the golden lady, not quite expecting the peppering of kisses over the scars that decorated her face. She wasn't used to this and flinched lightly in response to the unfamiliar sensation over the weathered flesh. Her whiskers quivered, upper lip twitching as she held back an instinctual snarl. The tension in her expression slowly subsided, deciding that she enjoyed Eleanor's delicate touch enough to relax into it. Tattered ears lay back as she closed her eyes, even her tail set to wag, the pirate now as docile as a newborn fawn in her care.

Heavy-lidded eyes blinked open at the sultry tone of her voice. The grin that had been on her face has settled into a lackadaisical half-smile. “Then I suppose I am at your mercy, my lady..." Truth be told, Eleanor was already off to a pretty decent start if her desire was to know Freyja in ways that no one else did. What would it hurt to give her pieces, little by little. “What is it that you desire to know, hm?"

@Eleanor

If I was you, I'd hide,
If I was you, I'd be afraid,
Afraid of what's inside...

code by claerie ~ art by Yahtzee

Seeing Freyja so content in her arms was a treasure that Eleanor was silently vowing to never take for granted. She knew from what the marauder had disclosed when persuaded by alcohol that letting her guard down came at a hefty cost, one that the heiress would pay again and again for moments such as these. Moments where her Freyja could be just that... her Freyja, unburdened and completely free.

And for as long as they were in the loft, in a paradise all their own, she could be.

Eleanor adjusted her position until she had successfully squeezed out from beneath the bulk of the pirate queen, their bodies both resting upon the cushions and flush against one another. "I think it's only fair if we make it a game," she added after her companion acquiesced, only briefly surprised it came so quickly. "For every question you answer for me, I'll answer one of yours." Freyja hadn't denied her curiosity, but Eleanor wanted to give, too. It'd be all too easy to get into the habit of only taking.

In the breath before she posed her first question, a dainty paw began to trace light motions across a broad, sturdy chest. Of course, there were a million and two things Eleanor wanted to ask—though she'd still crave more—but one had bounced to the forefront of her mind the moment Freyja had started to flinch beneath her touch, not unlike the reaction she'd received earlier. "What has made you wary of being touched in this way?"

code: elyon | art: rott-gutt

IF I WAS YOU I'D

R U N

The arctic giant lifted herself to allow more room as soon as she realized Eleanor was trying to shimmy her way out from beneath her. They both sat up against the plush cushions of the chair, still resting closely with one another. There was not a hint of awkwardness as they readjusted, in fact, Freyja leaned over to nip at her ear playfully as she growled. “M'always up for a game."

The Captain reclined a bit more, stretching herself out comfortably over their seat as if it were a throne. She gave a curt nod as she leaned back with a smirk. “Fine by me, darlin'. Question for a question seems more than fair. Have at it, then." Her gaze followed the movement of an elegant paw as it fell upon her chest. There was an instant shudder of muscle at the contact, the tension in her form causing her posture to become rigid despite her efforts to fight the instinctual reaction.

The sensation of the heiress tracing her paw lightly against her flesh was by no means a sensation that she did not enjoy. Freyja kept her attention on Eleanor as best she could...until the first question called attention to her reactions. The hardened woman released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and averted her gaze, turning her head to one side to try to find a visual anchor. “Ya had ta go for the hard-hitter on the first round, didn't ch'ya?"

While the context of what she'd said was playful, her tone of voice sounded strained and she had to clear her throat. “I..." Freyja felt her mouth go dry, her mind beginning to race in every which way to come up with the best explanation she possibly could. “I, uh...I like bein' the one who initiates the touchin'...just 'cause it's...well, it's..." She paused, struggling to put what she felt into words. “It's predictable...when I'm the one in control, that is...I can focus on makin' a woman feel good 'n not have'ta worry 'bout..." Tattered ears flattened against her head and she frowned. “...bein' touched without my say so..." She glanced up at Eleanor warily, unsure of her answer was suitable enough for her.

If it was received well, she'd take a moment to think of a question she might want to ask. The Nord's pensive expression soon held traces of a scowl as she decided which subject she wished to probe at. “Ya mentioned suitors before...do they, uh...visit ye...often?" Freyja felt the pulse of irritation at her temple, more so aimed towards herself when she realized that she wouldn't have given two shits about suitors drooling over any other woman. For some fuckin' reason...the pirate cared very much about the answer to this inquiry as it pertained specifically to Eleanor Calyx.

@Eleanor

If I was you, I'd hide,
If I was you, I'd be afraid,
Afraid of what's inside...

code by claerie ~ art by Yahtzee

“Sorry,” Eleanor managed to say without actually being sorry for her curiosity. That was the nature of the game, after all. To force themselves to explore the conversations that wouldn’t normally arise, imprisoned in the held breaths they were too afraid to release. At least, that’s how it felt for Eleanor, anyway. There were so many things about Freyja that she wanted to know, many of which she dreaded the answers to–but, for once, she didn’t want that to stop her from learning all she could about the enigmatic she-wolf.

Besides, she never said it’d be easy.

But, ironically, thinking about everything she wanted to know was making it difficult to focus on actually listening. She refocused now on the side of Freyja’s face, brow furrowing, as words started to fumble their way out of the haze of staticky inattention. No, not quite that; they were stumbling their way off of Freyja’s tongue, which seemed to have turned from silver to lead as she disclosed a detail about herself that was as personal as it was difficult to divulge. The delicate circuits Eleanor’s paw was making ceased in an instant, and the appendage retracted towards her, galactic gaze growing faintly apologetic. “Would you like me to stop?” she asked, reluctant to do so but willing if that was what her marauder wanted. Her paw hovered between them, waiting for an answer to pull it in either direction.

The question to follow was just as startling as her own had been for the other woman, although it wasn’t quite so intimate in comparison. Her only reason for the way her nose wrinkled up at it was due to not wanting to reflect on wolves who meant nothing to her when someone far more important was sitting right beside her. But she thought back to the men who had courted her anyway. As different as the phases of the moon, there was not one category she could lump them all into–besides ‘uninterested’–but Eleanor could think of a few standouts that hadn’t yet faded into obscurity: Calloway, with his blatant disregard for her resentment towards both his painful pinches and the man himself, came back solely to flirt with her family name. Montague’s intentions were harder to pinpoint, since he seemed more interested in eyeballing every male in their vicinity, but at least that approach was entertaining enough to suffer through. Hiram had earned every right to her hand by sheer virtue of heroically saving his family from their burning home but was virtuous enough to see that her heart wasn’t available, merely offering his presence as a respite from the others.

And then there was Luther, who Eleanor was certain had fallen from some great height and landed squarely on his head. Unfortunately, an idiot is still an idiot, no matter how sweet they are.

Women, however, were… less frequent, if not nonexistent. Most aristocrats wanted to secure their lines through untainted biology. When the last time was that other women weren’t considered competition, Eleanor couldn’t recall. If nothing else, the bond she was developing with Freyja was made more special by that realization. Freyja, who could talk passionately for hours on end. Who stepped on her feet throughout their first dances. Who made her worries seem small and her wildest desires attainable. Who... reminded Eleanor of her late father, in that singular manner that made her feel protected when they held her close. Freyja, who was unlike anyone else, was in a category all her own: Interested.

Eleanor’s smile grew wry, finding some humor in how close the subject of her thoughts could be while having no indication that she was even being thought of in that capacity. “Oh, there are a few that come and go.” However Freyja answered her previous query would dictate whether the honey-furred heiress playfully teased the rugged woman with her silky tail, curling it around Freyja’s other side to draw her ever so slightly closer. “But only one that I actually want to see again after she leaves,” she added, tilting her head and wondering if the implication was understood.

Regardless, it was once again her turn to ask a question. Eleanor debated with herself and her many curiosities before finally landing on one that (likely) wouldn't yield her as significant a confession as the first but still wouldn’t be common knowledge. “Did you—do you have any siblings?”

code: elyon | art: rott-gutt

IF I WAS YOU I'D

R U N

TW: MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT

As soon as she'd uttered even a partial truth, the delicate circles that Eleanor was drawing over her flesh instantly ceased. A pang of regret having shared something that would put distance between them began to spread through her chest like fractals of a broken ice. “No!" She blurted out before clearing her throat and adjusting her posture amid her discomfort. “No...please..." A massive paw reaching out to slip beneath Eleanor's dainty one, simply wanting what little physical contact the noblewoman would give. “If I didn't want ye touchin' me...you woulda known by now..." She pressed her lips in a light kiss to the top of Eleanor's paw and then peered up at her, slowly relinquishing her hold and taking a deep breath before deciding to divulge more information.

“My first experiences with anything sexual were...well, they were not with a woman, they were not at all consensual...and they were anything, but gentle. I've been seeking to redefine those moments of my life ever since..." She grimaced as her body tensed, recalling memory better left locked away and sunk to the bottom of the sea. “What I went through...I wouldn't even wish that on my worst enemy..." It was the bitter truth and it sickened her to recognize that. She gave a light shake to release the negative energy and then nodded to Eleanor. “But, let's talk about you now, eh?"

And with that, she'd asked her question, mismatched orbs lingering as she waited in anticipation for the answer. The Captain had to wonder why she had chosen quite possibly the shittiest question to ask. What was the point of knowing the answer to it? To stake out her competition perhaps? Wait, what? Competition for what...exactly? Eleanor was a noblewoman and she was...what she was. There was only one ending for people like her and it certainly wasn't alongside a woman like Eleanor. The heiress reported vaguely that the suitors she'd seen came and went...like seasons it sounded like. “What a bunch'a sorry saps...that was no way to treat a woman, like she was worthy of your attention whenever it was convenient for you...fuckin' men..." She shared her opinion gruffly, crossing her arms as she huffed in frustration. None of 'em deserved her...not a damn one...

The lightest touch of a silken tail over her side invited her closer to the honeyed femme, drawing her attention. Of course, she instantly took to it, shuffling herself over to curl up to her petite frame, nuzzling her muzzle into the areas of her neck where her feminine perfume was strongest. The raider would take any excuse to find herself brushing up against the purple-eyed beauty, but stopped short and blinked in confusion for a split second, looking at Eleanor questioningly. “She?" There was a look of suspicion that flickered across her marred features, until she caught a teasing look from the other woman.

“Ohh, yer a cheeky one, aren't ch'ya?" Freyja leaned her oversized head downward and nipped at the sensitive area behind Eleanor's ears in a spirited teasing fashion. She then withdrew, growing rather serious as she regarded the upper class female who, under any other circumstances, would've been far beyond her reach. “I've got no intentions of being a suitor...that implies that I could purchase you...like some fuckin' livestock. I absolutely refuse to treat you in such a manner."

Next question up, Eleanor asked her about family...specifically siblings. It would have been a simple question for any average wolf and they would have had some boring, yet acceptable answer. The marauder's face darkened and She lowered her head, staring down at the floor, trying to steady herself even as her voice shook with a mixture of emotion. “I had siblings...many...far too many. We had one father and a group of mothers who were...simple breeding tools and their children, all of us, were being raised as warriors for battle..."

Her voice continued to shake, but it was evident now that it was fury behind it with a volatility that could wipe out a fleet of ships, “They trained us all brutally and then sold me specifically off to band of pirates that had the highest bid. I thought it was a ticket out of there...I could do whatever grunt work the captain of the ship wanted and get to travel the world..." She lifted her head, staring forward with a far off look on her face as she recalled the live that she had imagined. Her eyes closed slowly and she shook her head.

“Let's just say...that's not why the captain bought me. I was foolish to think I was seen as useful in any other fuckin' way and I...I was so young when he...and there was not a damn soul on board that gave a fuck what was happenin' to me unless he felt like...sharin' his ‘spoils'..." The pain behind her words was evident and she felt like she might very well become ill, but now that it was all out in the open, she felt a dire need to pour from this internal wound, having never even attempted to speak on it out loud. She took a few deep breaths and upon exhaling the last one, she chuckled dryly, “Oh, but, don't worry...I wouldn't have become Captain if I hadn't built up the ire enough to stage a coup and murder him. I took command of his ship, some of his crew, then set sail. I journeyed back on home for a little family reunion...and when it came time for them to answer to my judgement...I liberated the ones worth savin', slaughtered the rest of those shit stains, and then served justice upon my father...lettin' him choke on his own blood until he fuckin' drowned in it."

There was tension in the air, but it was a fragile type that might come at the punchline of a morally ambiguous joke. But, Freyja...she wasn't laughin'. This was the last time that she would ever touch a bottle of Dandelion Wine...for everyone's sake. She couldn't look at Eleanor now, turning her paws over while she glared harshly at them, knowing what horrors she had seen and the atrocities that she's committed out of sheer feminine rage. It was then that she remembered it was her turn to ask a question and what better one to pose at this point than, “So, tell me...what do ya think of me now? You still care ta see this wreck of a creature after she leaves...?"

If I was you, I'd hide,
If I was you, I'd be afraid,
Afraid of what's inside...

code by claerie ~ art by Yahtzee

Freyja's mismatched eyes shared one thing in that moment: Robust panic. Eleanor glimpsed it before it flicked away, replaced by a placid plea that the white wolf pressed into the fur of her cradled paw. "Okay," she acquiesced, allowing herself to resume the tender action. Pulling away in the first place had been for Freyja's benefit, not her own, but Eleanor tacked on a resolute reminder regardless, "But you have to tell me if it becomes not okay. I don't want to impose anything you don't want."

She sat silently through the extended explanation her savage seafarer decided to share with her, save for the sound of her heart shattering into a trillion tiny shards. She was no stranger to unsolicited contact, but she'd never had anything other than her autonomy taken from her; Freyja had lost something far more precious. Something Eleanor could never give back to her. "Whoever was responsible for that should be hanged," her growl invoked a rare malice normally reserved for Mutt and Mutt alone. That behavior was abhorrent on its own, but she took personal offense on Freyja's behalf, imagining the anonymous wolves the woman spoke of as torn cloth in her claws.

A forceful exhale did little to extinguish her still-burning resentment. Eleanor's whiskers vibrated, her jaw working furiously, but all that such a vengeful veneer bequeathed was a look that was purely ridiculous upon her delicate porcelain features. She would be scaring no one anytime soon.

Managing to make Freyja brighten up was a small, but significant, consolation that made her fur warm. It served also as a necessary distraction from the murder that was on her mind, pouting in playful protest when her ear was bitten. "So... no purchasing, got it. Stealing me away isn't off the table though...?" The meandering question wasn't so effective at disguising the sultry note returning to Eleanor's voice, nor was the curling canopy of her dark lashes over the gleaming gemstones within her narrow face aiding in her attempt to appear innocent. But it was moments like these that she wished could be captured and preserved.

They always ended before she was ready.

Eleanor wore an enduring expression of abject horror throughout Freyja's response to the question that was intended to sail them back towards charted waters. "Freyja..." she began but quickly fell silent. What was there that she could offer? The comfort of her presence felt inconsequential in comparison, as if she could ever be a balm for wounds so raw. "I can't imagine having to experience any of that. I'd thought that losing my parents so young was the pinnacle of misfortune, but that..." It was even more difficult to fathom why the world seemed particularly against Freyja to the point that her entire life was an incomprehensible hardship.

She sighed, feeling completely useless in this situation, then nudged her nose beneath a scarred chin until Freyja looked at her. "What you did is what they all deserved. Freyja, you're not less than or unworthy because you were driven to right the wrongs done to you. You don't need to worry that I would think about you any differently. You've shown me the woman that you've grown into, someone that forsakes necessary medical attention to lay on the riverbank and listen to a spoiled brat yap. I think you're strong, not wretched." She lavished the cheek nearest to her with a medley of kisses, hopefully enough to convey the sincerity in the sentiment. "All you can do now is look towards the future," she murmured a moment later, shockingly sage, before her tone turned curious, "What do you desire of that? What does your future look like... if you could choose it?"

code: elyon | art: rott-gutt

IF I WAS YOU I'D

R U N

It was still somewhat of a shock or at least a damn good jolt of flattery that she'd even be considered the least bit worthy to stand alongside a lineup of suitors. Then to be ultimately favored by the goddess that was Eleanor...in her mind it was unfathomable. Freyja knew exactly what she was, she knew that she didn't have much to offer, and even if she did, she was the embodiment of calamity walking...nothing a woman such as Eleanor should bother with at all.

Yet...this was reality and the pirate was hearing, feeling every ounce of desire in those sultry note of her voice. And that looks in her eyes that peeked between long lashes was more telling despite the playful mask of innocence the heiress was wearing. “Oh, now, ya make a good point there... Freyja nestled her muzzle beneath that ear as the low, husky drawl of her voice rumbled against her pulse. “Say the word...just give me the order to do so, and I'd steal ya away in a heartbeat, princess..."


The flirtation came to an end as it always had, the line of questioning only casting a spotlight upon the hideous truths of the Captain's existence. And well...Freyja wasn't sure exactly what she'd expected from the noblewoman this time. She had spilled her guts so openly, so crudely that she was left feeling a raw and empty shell. Was this going to be enough to make Eleanor flee from her again? Perhaps for the final time?

A slender nose slipped beneath her chin, lifting it up and she held it there, her gaze meeting soothing pools of lavender. Freyja couldn't begin to imagine what grotesque horrors played out in her own eyes. She prayed to the Goddess Rán to bring in the tide and wash it away, relieving Eleanor the misfortune of having to look at it. That was when she honed in on the expression the noblewoman wore...one of determination, resolve, and a set jaw. The poor dear looked as though she were a child ready to fight an entire army. At any other time, she might've chuckled, patted her head, and teased her for it, but...right now, the mere sentiment that anyone at all was willing to take on the world for a lost cause such as her? Gods...it spoke volumes, it meant everything to her that Eleanor was still sitting with her at all...

There was no need to study her, try to pinpoint true intentions. She knew in her bones that what was being said to her came from the other woman with pure authenticity. The mention of the circumstances that made up their second meeting then had Freyja reminiscing more favorable memories. “Pretty sure I was the one doin' all the yappin'...so much so that ya bitched about it, if my memory serves me right." The kisses against her cheek were delicate and...oh, so welcome. She closed her eyes and released a sigh that bordered on the whisper of a whine of yearning. She hadn't realized just how touch-starved she'd been until she allowed Eleanor to tiptoe along that boundary.

The next question begged the seafarer to look to the future, resulting in a long pause. Freyja's brows furrowed deeply and her expression became concentrated, gaze distant as she willed herself to envision a future past the next five minutes. It proved to be astonishingly difficult, given her entire life had revolved around survival, deeming thoughts of a long-term future null and void. “Didn't think I'd actually make it this far, so...” She grumbled after a time, taking a breath in and exhaling as she shifted her weight to adjust herself into a more relaxed, lounging position.

Two-toned eyes kept flickering over to Eleanor before becoming focused again, but she couldn't help it. Every time she thought she could see a vision of a day past tomorrow, it always halted at a pair of soft amethyst orbs. Freyja chewed on her lip in frustration, knowing that what she was going to say was how she felt, but not knowing if saying it out was the wisest decision. Fuck that Dandy Wine... She thought as she finally looked to Eleanor, grumbling a bit to herself before saying, “I dunno what a future looks like for me, that's the honest truth. All's I know is, I want ye in it..."

@Eleanor

If I was you, I'd hide,
If I was you, I'd be afraid,
Afraid of what's inside...

code by claerie ~ art by Yahtzee