Butterfly Eyes

His silence would make them sit there surprisingly patiently, observing him with a kindness in their vibrant pools that reflected a perfect sunny summer day. Was it really something that needed so much thought? They hardly thought a day in their life for more than a few seconds over something before blurting out whatever was on their mind so they always found it peculiar whenever someone else took extra long to gather their thoughts before speaking. They were used to it with him, however, having been this way since they met. He always had to figure out every little detail before words would form or at least that was how Cory saw it from the outside looking in. In some they might find it a dubious endeavor but it was hard to write him up as someone that had any insidious intent, viewing them as nothing more than a perfect peach that could do no wrong with their sweetness. As he followed their guide, a smile heightened on their lips, tilting their head even more as if his mirrors could suddenly give them all the answers there was to give. That of course wouldn’t be the case, never having been any good at reading others emotions no matter how hard they tried. It was often a guessing game and they were more than happy to play the game, often turning it into just that to cheer another up even when the other wasn’t sad at all. The lyrics that came out had their ears gently twitching atop their head, paw falling away as they listened with little nods here and there only to nod more dramatically when asked the question about being upfront. They were always leaping before speaking so why shouldn’t others? It made life easier to just speak what was on one’s mind after all. The atmosphere change did make them glance around a little, feeling like Brann was about to say something heavier than they knew what to do with. They wiggled their paws into the soil in anticipation, keeping themselves rooted for the worst or best thing that could be said, unable to deny they were growing a little worried. “You are always thinking Branny,” they giggled teasingly, at the little pause, the smile reaching their eyes in joyous harmony. This wasn’t quite the direction they had expected things to go, compliment after compliment and for a second, they were waiting for a but to be in there somewhere. It all sounded like good things to them but for a Chieftain to lose caution, to lose a stiff spine, many would see that as a bad thing, and they knew that well enough. They bit of happiness ebbing away a touch as they waited on a bated breath for him to finish in hope that wasn’t the case, it was what they expected. Maybe tell them to leave them be from now on. That’s how the story often went in their life, never quite making lasting friends because they always found some way to mess it up from their history to their overzealous personality to their childish antics. They nearly blurted out they had feelings back, though not quite by the same meaning and that pause was enough to make them think. Feelings? As in…? This had surprise growing on their face before more nervous giggles took over as realization settled in. There has never been a day in their life where they thought of romance or starting a family of their own, they always just fantasize about their siblings having kids to be an amazing aunt or uncle to and living such a life from the sidelines. Their lips pressed as the giggles died down, bashfully looking down at their paws for a moment before looking up at him again, trying to even grasp the concept now that it was at their paws. Taking in a breath their smile returned as a paw scuffed the ground. “I feel… warm and cozy and safe around you. I’ve never felt that way around anyone else. Well not in that exact way, kind of parallel to other feelings I’ve had before but...umm that makes no sense, hehe,” they fumbled, ears tipping back as they felt like they were just spilling a mess all over. “Cory likes being near Branny, to be held by him and cared for by him. They love to see him smile. Feeling giddy at every little touch. Is… that the kind of feelings he has?” their habit of talking in third person popping out worse than normal as they tried to piece it together, to see if what they felt was akin to romantic feelings because they didn’t understand it.

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@Brann

“You are always thinking, Branny,” Cory said in a giggle. Brann dipped his head slightly, his ears twitching slightly to the side for a moment before they returned to their erect position atop his head.

In truth, Brann was always thinking, and perhaps thinking too much. The words should have come to him easily, considering that they were his own feelings, and no one else could tell him what he was feeling. But, the simple fact that remained ever-present in Brann, was that he was a chronic overthinker. He second-guessed every move he made, whether he showed it or not. But, as the words came to him, and tumbled out of his mouth, he felt for once, certain in something he had said.

But, as they came out, and the small silence that followed, he couldn’t help but second guess one thing. Maybe the timing wasn’t right. Or, maybe, and it was a strong possibility, Cory didn’t have those same feelings back. He knew that they didn’t experience the world as he did, and that was something that he had long since accepted and had come to love. But, it didn’t negate the fact that Cory, in their mannerisms was almost childish. Brann believed though, that somewhere in there, those thoughts morphed into something more, that they weren’t just… simple.

But, ultimately, he’d never know.

Perhaps it was wrong of him to have such feelings for them?

His mind spiraled slightly, something that he tried to control, but he wasn’t quite able to stop the flow of thoughts that threatened to wash over him like an angry ocean wave.

“I feel… warm and cozy and safe around you. I’ve never felt that way around anyone else. Well not in that exact way, kind of parallel to other feelings I’ve had before but… Ummm that makes no sense, hehe,” Cory said. Brann smiled slightly, his head tilting to the side as Cory continued on. “Cory likes being near Branny, to be held by him and cared for by him. They love to see him smile. Feeling giddy at every little touch. Is… that the kind of feelings he has?”

Brann was quiet for a moment, thinking over the words that they had said, his mouth opening a couple of times to start speaking. Slowly, he took a breath, gathering his thoughts.

“Yes,” he said slowly. “I feel… Oh, Damn e, dè na faclan, agus carson a tha iad a 'falach orm!” He mumbled to himself, his claws digging into the earth beneath them for a moment. Another steadying breath, the closing of his eyes for a small moment. He really didn’t need to think so hard about this, it should come easy, it should come fluidly, but… It didn’t. He didn’t have a way with words, but… then he didn’t really need it at the moment. He was just himself, he was not a chieftain at that moment.

“I feel… Like I can be myself. Like I don’t have to try to be perfect around you. I feel safe. Comfortable. Happy. It feels like breathing is easier if that makes sense.” He said finally, hoping that his words made sense to them. “You are the home for my heart.” He added quietly, his gaze drifting down towards the ground between them.


@Cordelia

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As they finished speaking, they watched as his features seemed to loosen with each word, softening in a way that brought a big smile onto their own face that didn’t want to stay hidden in the slightest. Their tail swayed happily since he seemed happy, even if it was only a slight twitch of the lips into a gentle curve, it was more than enough when it came to him. It wasn’t often he smiled as it was, they couldn’t expect his grin to grow as wide as their own when they have never witnessed it before but they hoped to see a day where it was as bright as the sun, making it envious of his brilliance. There was no denying they loved him but they had to work out in what way that was, it would seem, having never written it as nothing more than something akin to family because no other thoughts had crossed their mind outside of that. The more they looked at him, the more sure they were of that feeling, that they needed to know what kind of love it was. The silence that followed made them anxious, dancing in place to get the building energy out of their dark limbs, the adrenaline escaping slowly yet unabashedly, feeling like he would be the same way if he was so hyper. He was the calm of a sunny day or pretty night while they were the unpredictable winds making waves and twisters. At least that was how they saw it, it seemed he thought the other way around, that they were the light that made his petal grow. The yes would draw back their focus and in turn take away some of that need to get energy out, stopping their little in place dance as he cursed himself out in their native tongue, making them snicker. They wondered if he didn’t know they knew it as well, finding the little chiding to be adorable even more so if he thought they didn’t understand a word he was saying. Just as quickly as he had spoken, he had fell silent again and it made their ears fall back, their smile becoming a little more sad in a desire to lift his chin up with their nose swelled in their chest, not wanting for him to get into his own head again. Thankfully it seemed it wouldn’t last too long this time, ears swiveling as he started up again. It felt odd to be so quiet for so long themselves but they didn’t want to be rude. They felt a timidness slowly growing more and more as he went on, not sure what to do with themselves and so they swayed in place, letting the energy out without being as distracting, keeping their paws firmly on the ground. “You're a home for Cory too, the one my heart took me to when my siblings were gone. The only one it thought of as the only other place to go,” they whispered back, moving forward to gently place a kiss on his oak cheek. “This is all new to Cory…but I think you should know my given name is Cordelia. I’d like Branny to give Cory a name they think fits them,” they mused, feeling like it was a good start to whatever this was. Maybe it would also help him find words in a different way.

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@Brann

In truth, Brann almost desperately wanted them to feel the same way about him, but… he wasn’t sure, and perhaps he never would be. But, that was enough for him, in some way. Whatever grew between them would never be the stereotypical ‘love story’ that was told in the old tales of the land. He would never be the valiant warrior who vanquished the monster, never be the gentleman husband to come home to a doting wife. That wasn’t what Brann wanted, and quite frankly never had.

But, it was what he knew, in terms of what ‘love’ was.

And what they had was not the typical. But, that was okay.

“You’re a home for Cory too, the one my thought of as the only other place to go,” Cory said, their voice a whisper as they moved forward. A kiss was gently placed upon his cheek, making his smile widen slightly. “This is all new to Cory… But I think you should know my given name is Cordelia. I’d like Branny to give Cory a name they think fits them.”

“I understand it’s all new to you… It’s all new to me, too, to be honest. I’ve never… felt like this toward anyone else. We can learn together.” Brann said quietly, his eyes drifting up to meet Cory’s. “And it is good to know what your given name is… But it does not fit you, and I understand why you go by Cory. Do I have to think of something right now? Or do I have time to think about it a little? So that I can come up with something that suits you?” Brann asked, his head tilting slightly to the side. He blinked a couple of times, before speaking again.

“Actually… Mo chridhe,” Brann said. “Chridhe is what I would like to call you, if that is okay?”

@Cordelia

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There was a break in those childish mannerisms as they spoke about serious matters that were far beyond their scope, it wouldn’t go away completely of course but it was like a bubble was popped. Age regression had been a coping mechanism after their life originally shattered, it allowed them to see the world in a way that was far nicer than they had learned it to be and got them out of trouble easier when they outright go against the grain of the world. There would always be an innocence to them, seeing the good in everything no matter how much the world shattered around them. A light would be there waiting so long as they searched for it just the right way and not give up. Brann had been the light this past time, he had been the light when they first met too, brought to them by… their eyes widened then at a realization and it made them giggle to themselves, their tail swaying behind them from those intruding thoughts that briefly distracted them from the butterflies. Those giggles would subside when he started to speak again with a different kind of confession, making their ears perk up with some curiosity, having thought he would have many suitors honestly. He would be the kind of man no one would be embarrassed to show their parents, unfortunately there would never be a day where that could happen for them and it caused a bittersweet smile. It was still an uncertainty if they could even have him meet their siblings, though there would always be Black he could run into. They chose not to dwell on any of that, it wasn’t like they were getting married right now. “Take all the time you need Branny. I just never had romantic thoughts probably because I’ve always felt wrong in my body. Since forever and ever, Cordelia just wasn’t me. I used to call myself Prince as a wee baby,” they admitted with an awkward chuckle, never liking to be seen as just some girl and the idea of taking the role of one turned their stomach even more at times. Their gender was fluid but when another treated them a certain way because of their scent, it always upset them. They had been thankful most of their family had been supportive, even if some didn’t follow their wishes. There was never a time where it felt like it was meant to be mocking or disrespectful. “Does it matter to you if I'm a boy or a girl or anything in between?” they swallowed, wanting to get that out of the way, worried he would be hoping for a cute little darling all the time. Before their brain could drown in those thoughts, he would start back up and the words made them get a little flustered. Chridhe. Heart. Tears welled up in their eyes for a moment before nodding frantically and tackling him into a hug, causing the firefly to scatter around creating a vibrant lightshow again though it was hardly what they were looking at. There was a timidness in the slant of their ears as their paws rested on the comfort of his chest, if he fell into that hug with them. “I love it,” they mused with a gentle kiss just below his collar where their beating heart rested, to express he was their heart too.

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@Brann

Brann thought back through his life. Had he… ever had feelings for someone before? Sure, he had thought some attractive, but he’d never acted on such thoughts. I’m throwing himself into a role as the family Chieftain in his father’s permanent absence, Brann had admittedly neglected his personal life in many regards. He didn’t have many friends outside of his family. Had never had a ‘relationship’ with someone. Had he ever really had feelings for anyone before? He couldn’t remember fully, but he was fairly certain that he had not.

Cory was the first that he found himself attracted to in more than just a superficial ‘oh they’re nice to look at.’ They held his heart, made him think and not think all at the same time. Which, was strange for someone that was a chronic self-deprecating overthinker. They calmed the storm in his mind in a way that no one else had managed to do before, making it a gentle, soft rain rather than the torrential downpour that so often consumed him wholly.

“Take all the time you need Branny. I just never had romantic thoughts probably because I’ve always felt wrong in my body. Since forever and ever, Cordelia just wasn’t me. I used to call myself Prince as a wee baby,””Cory admitted. Brann nodded slightly. While he could not understand fully, he did in some regard. “Does it matter to you if I'm a boy or a girl or anything in between?”Cory asked him.

“No. It doesn’t matter to me. I like you for who you are — the parts that you have aren’t something I’m focused on. I just want you happy. Your identity doesn’t really matter to me, as long as you’re happy.” Brann said gently, looking up at them. He wore a smile on his lips, a paw coming up to touch their cheek. “Happy. That’s all I want for you.”

His words after, however, prompted a tackle that made Brann chuckle a little, his gaze drifting from Cory’s features to the fireflies taking flight around them once more. His eyes flickered back to them, an easy smile touching his lips as they said they loved it. “I’m glad,” he said quietly. Every part of him wanted to kiss them, but as a chronic overthinker does… Brann overthought it, because it didn’t feel quiet right just yet. He did, however, chuckle at the gentle kiss that they placed below his collar bone. His paws rested on their sides, feeling the texture of their dark fur. He felt content in the moment, elated, even.

A glowing smile would come forth as he answered their question earnestly, in the most respectful manner they had ever heard in their life and it made them like him all the more, starting to think maybe it was love that they felt toward him. A kind of love they didn’t really understand. It made them both scared and happy all at once and they weren’t sure which way to lean in that regard, though perhaps that was a good thing, to have some caution. Loving blindly was easy, it was what they did for so long, it only got them hurt over and over again. There was a whimsical feeling to this kind of love though, so long as that was what they were feeling, something that was more fairytale, surreal in ways they couldn’t explain to save their life. Weightless. Their mind was rambling more and more, now the one overthinking everything from not wanting to ruin this new feeling for either of them. “I want cha happy too. I think the fae brought us together that day,” they giggled, finally saying what had been on their mind a little bit ago. “I’ve thought about it since we met, though I didn’t know why at the time. It seems like they knew we needed each other, someone to be our true selves with,” they took in a breath, trying to reel in their thoughts to make something just as cohesive and not everywhere like it was in their head. It was a taller order than they had expected, used to just blurting things as it came to them. Tapping their chin with a paw, they would glance at him before looking away for a second then back at him again. They were coming up dry pretty quickly on how to form anything into words but when the topic was only about their name, all those thoughts were quickly put on pause. Much to their glee he didn’t try to escape their hug and affections, the chuckles and smiles were putting them at ease around him, no longer worrying so much about messing up. Pulling their head up after the kiss to his heart, they would look down at him with a warmth that held something deeper than usual. Taking in his face, they weaseled one of their paws out from between them to gently brush it to his pale cheek, giggling with him. There weren't any thoughts to do anything particularly romantic despite the setting and topics at hand, which wasn’t so abnormal for them. Perhaps others might have kisses or done other things but those desires didn’t surface, not in the same way at least. “You still have the prettiest butterfly eyes,” they cooed, brushing their muzzle just under his cheekbone before getting a tad bit more shy as they failed to look at those very eyes they complimented. They had brought him here to see the butterflies but none were here, only the glowing bugs that were perhaps a little more magical than most. To them all bugs were pretty cool though. So as to make it less obvious they were still a bit nervous about all this, they would gently bury their face into the ivory fur along his neck, holding him close in a snuggle of sorts and listening to the beats of his heart. “Never leave Cory long and snuggle them every night. I never wanna lose him too,” they insisted, pressing into him more to emphasize their point, being a bit clingy. They didn’t want to lose another so important to them. They couldn’t. It would hurt too much. -snuggle fade or continue?-

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@Brann

While whatever was happening between the two was no storybook occurrence, not something that was sung about in songs, Brann was okay with that. They would make their own story, their own song. Somehow, that seemed like a more fitting option for both of them, and that realization made his heart soar just a little higher than it already was.

“I want cha happy too. I think the fae brought us together that day,” Cory said. “I’ve thought about it since we met, though I didn’t know why at the time. It seems like they knew we needed each other, someone to be our true selves with.” Brann smiled, giving a small nod.

“The fae have their ways of bringing two together when they need it most, and the time is right,” he said quietly. The moments passed in a comfortable silence, at least for him, although he could see Cory trying to formulate a thought. Just as he was about to speak, however, their paw came up, brushing against his cheek. He leaned into the motion, finding comfort in it — more than he would have expected.

“You still have the prettiest butterfly eyes,” they said. Brann smiled gently, giving another small chuckle.

“Thank you, Chridhe,” he murmured. “I think yours are prettier, though — like looking at a clear sky, just after the pinks and oranges of sunrise have gone away, and it’s just that vibrant blue.” As he spoke, their nose went beneath his chin, snuggling closer. His paws would touch behind their back, holding them close, in an almost protective manner.

“Never leave Cory long and snuggle them every night. I never wanna lose him too,” they said.

“I promise; cross my heart,” he said quietly, nuzzling his nose against the portion of their head that he could reach. He was content in that moment and would have been happy if it had never ended. It didn’t have to, for now…

[ fin ]

@Cordelia

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