[ P ] I miss the green in your eyes

Every little twitch along his face structure would be noted by Adeline, finding each little wrinkle along his brow to the smallest tip of a lip to mean so much more than anyone might view it in the room. As judgemental as most were, they were too obsessed with themselves to pay that much attention to one man they likely wouldn’t see too much of again, well the non soldiers at least. The scene that had been caused, on the other paw, had sullied everything in that moment as the ting of a glass shattered within herself but also all eyes had fallen on her. She could see the nightmare of everyone watching her, not in worship like she preferred but in righteous judgment she was no longer used to, having been living a mostly quiet life since moving away. To be a spectacle she should be more than comfortable with, she normally was the one to garner applause so that she felt like the princess she viewed herself as for so long.

All those eyes were as forgotten as can be when her focus became solely on the wine that dripped from each perfectly placed hair that now hung limply and without any hint of curls. There was a seething in her gut, a desire to start an extremely big scene that would make her mother feel even more the fool, though might also get her tossed in jail in the process. Her dignity, what she had left after Nalik’s visit, was crushed to the smallest of pieces to the point she felt like she couldn’t salvage anything of what she once was. Her lip twitched, her eyes glowered with a mixture of emotions that couldn’t be read even by those close to her on an emotional level. Maybe she was just disassociating, gathering herself into a different world to escape from all this so she could get the will to move and tune out all of the things that made her want to have a whole breakdown right about now.

It was a malicious energy that would pull her out of the darkness, those deep tones catching her attention and returning her regrettably to reality. She’d flinch just a little as he pulled away from her, her peridots following him along with her head, not so sure she was liking where this was going as he barked at her mother to speak louder. She could see how taken aback her mother was at him cutting her off like she was a criminal and it made Adeline’s skin crawl, knowing this would just make it even worse in the future for her if they were ever alone. “Kenzo,” she chirped out, moving toward him with a few shaken steps but confident ones that believed she could tame him back down before he could do anything stupid.

“Excuse me?” Penelope huffed, drawing a paw to her chest as if to say while I never without ever actually saying it. Where she looked innocent enough, the way she faked a cower, her tail tucking while still trying to appear regal was almost laughable. Yet, Adeline wasn't laughing as she interjected the situation. “Kenny. Please, we are guests in her home. We should go…if you wish to talk to her about more troubling manners, now isn’t the time. She has many other guests to attend to and I need to get this off before I’m purple forever,” she tried to keep the tremble from her lyrics in a coo, her hand gently touching the back of his arm to hopefully draw his anger away and his attention to her. Leaning up she would add something that only he would be able to hear. "Can you help me clean it off?"

If he listened, she would guide him out of the house by hand, using him partially as a shield to hide her embarrassment in the process.

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The murmurs that formed around them fell on deaf ears. The room may have quieted but all he heard was silence. Penelope played her part well, from the shock that etched itself in her features to the way she shrank before him. Somehow he hadn't expected anything different though he would be lying if he said he hadn't hope she would meet him with the same fire that blazed in her eyes. What a disappointment she would be. There was so little he knew about her, but he was no fool, he was a quick study with a keen eye for the details around him. Still he had expected more from her, more bite and less of a show though she was no different from others of her station.

A soft hand touching his arm would cause his attention to flicker. His stare never left Penelope but an ear would twitch, swinging towards Adeline as she came to his side. Excuse me? "I didn't stutter." Words were silky, an oh so enthralling venom. Pulling away from Penelope, he angled himself towards Adeline, still aiming to stand so that he stood between the two women. The smell of wine was heavy as it mixed with rose and scotch. Aggression oozed from him, unabashed in its ferocious possessiveness. Onlookers would whisper, spreading gossip faster than anyone could control it. But the narrative would be the same, the officer who was fiercely protective of his wife, willing to step on anyones toes to right a wrong.

So often he bent the knee to his wife, giving into her demands, it was easy to forget just who he was. More than a Lieutenant Major, he was Kenzo Verlice, a man forged in fire and hardened to steel. There was only one he had ever bent for. And it certainly wasn't Penelope. The man had been raised with certain ideals, certain standards. He had made a career out of his resolve and a reputation was formed on the back of his ambition. Kenzo didn't stumble, he stood tall in the face of adversity. Beyond that, he had been taught that what was his was his and no one else. Ryker had stopped needing his protection long ago. But his wife, Adeline, she incited a feral possessiveness in him that had a history of spilling blood.

But Adeline was pressing into him, tugging at his attention and eventually drawing his stare. She wanted to leave. Now. Frustration mounted. Blowing out a silent breath, he would press into her, steering her back the way they came before he allowed her to lead them out. His mass would keep close, keeping her tucked into his side as much as she hide there, using him as a shield. Utterly silent, he didn't mutter a single word until they once again stood in the warm summer air. It seemed more suffocating now. It was darker, shadows crept across the empty streets and the forest surrounding them was still. He would be the one to break it, to shatter the silence into a million pieces at their feet. Lyrics were as dark as the night sky, rumbled low in his throat as his voice teetered on the edge of a growl. "What exactly did she say?"

art + code: clae

The rift between the two was weighing on her, feeling the toxic aura spiral in the air like a suffocating presence that wanted to drag her breath away. If it continued, there might be a bloody mess to clean up and one of them in jail, knowing her mother wouldn’t cower forever should she keep being cornered as he was doing to her now. She would wait till that final moment when he was the only one looking at the bad guy and she was just appearing to defend herself, it was always how it went when she was confronted about anything that made her seem cruel to the public. Adeline couldn’t deny she learned a lot of that from her when it came to getting around her job, using her title in society as a backdrop to everything she decided to do out of her own free will, never allowing her to look like a monster. Both of them were vipers, her mother just happened to be better at hiding it and keeping her image healthy. She didn’t harbor a bad reputation at all and she was hungry to keep it that way.

Adeline couldn’t say the same, her image tarnished over and over from publicity of losing cases. Not that she cared that much, she still liked to be seen as an untouchable goddess over some scum unable to hold her own in court. She got what she wanted out of it most of all, that was what mattered most. The hand of a god that aided in another’s future or lack thereof.

She was relieved to see Kenzo start to back down, knowing the other viper wouldn’t strike again at this moment for she had no reason to yet. The glow of those potion eyes would burn into both of them, knowing all the things left unsaid that danced in the murk and serenity, there was a fire there that wanted to consume them both. A heel to tap, an adjustment of a skirt, she was truly more focused on keeping her composure than playing into Kenzo’s anger during a party. What surprised Adeline more was the lack of retort that would foam up, a lack of voice as a whole. Penelope was scared, she realized. That cower wasn’t entirely an act, she was truly afraid of this man as she offered a graceful goodbye, no sarcastic remarks or hidden jabs bid farewell with.

She didn’t hesitate to fall into the shelter of her husband’s body as they left the softly lit room, her gaze never once looking up at him as she struggled with an assortment of emotions she didn’t want to walk into right now. He seemed to have other plans as the silence the night carried would be broken not long after falling into the darkness, only given the stars to light their path, most of which were hidden by beautiful red leaves above. Her ears would preen back and she’d let out a sigh, still trying to keep it together in the moment. As upset as she was at the stains the wine might leave, she was more upset and the craving for drinking it echoed in her thoughts constantly. Wanting that escape into one of blurry indifference.

“I want to break my sobriety, and this isn’t helping,” she replied, as if to write off his question entirely as she looked down and away from any gaze, taking in the berry hues. “Just generational traumas, nothing I haven't heard before…you don’t like talking about your mother, so why should I burden you with talking about mine?” she would finally say after a break from speaking with an annoyed thrash of her tail that would hang low, if not subtly tucked against her inner thigh.

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Outside, he dragged in a steadying breath, grasping at the strands of control as his temper continued to rage. The thick heat of a summer night was suffocating, more so now than in the heat of the day. His paws itched for the sand of the training pits, the chance to blow off steam before he exploded. Jaws clenched, his teeth grinding together as they left the party behind. His displeasure was etched into the lines of his face, his anger blazed in the vibrancy of his two toned gaze. His need to possess, to protect seeped into the grooves of tense muscles that lined his shoulders and crept down his back. The wolf prowled, a top predator that moved with a captivating grace.

But the nights upsets would not end there. Adeline spoked of her sobriety, of her desire to shatter all her progress. Sharp eyes would snap to her. "You aren't breaking your sobriety, not when you've come this far." It was the first time she had even mentioned her hard earned sobriety to him and it was quite likely that she still didn't know that he already knew. It was enough to cool some of the heat in his expression, if only for a moment. He would follow her gaze, an invisible finger tracing each stain that wet her fur.

It would only get worse. She would dismiss his question then, lacking only the flick of her wrist as she brushed the question away. He recoiled then, his head and neck pulling away from her as she used Merrin as an excuse. Lips pressed into a thin line simply so they didn't lift. Her words had surprised him, of all the reasons he anticipated for her not telling him, his mother had been the last. It wouldn't occur to him that she had a point, he had no right to ask for her to lay her trauma at his feet when he refused to do the same. All he knew was the punch to his gut that came with her refusal. The thrash of her tail in annoyance added emphasis to her words, her plume quieting just as her mouth did.

"Come." Was the only response he uttered, deep baritones teetering on the edge of a growl. He would steer them off the street, venturing deeper into the forest where he knew the river broke off in various directions. One even conveniently was on the trek home. She would likely have a fit but he suddenly found he didn't have the patience or energy to cater to her every whim tonight.

art + code: clae

Her ears would flick with a snap that had they been made of wings might have made quite the ruffling sound but no such noise would come from those velvet textured folds. Chartreuse would peirce up at him then, drawing away from the wine that dripped like a gentle waterfall from her neck and down her chest, though it was starting to cling more effectively the longer she did nothing with it. Soon it would become a sticky syrup once the alcohol within was swept away by the warm night air, kept wet by the humidity in this climate she was all too used to. The longer she remained in this moist air, the more likely her fur would curl and frizz, which to her made her think she looked all the more breathtaking on any other day.

Today wasn’t that day of internalized confidence that couldn’t care about what anyone else said. She cared too much today and she wanted to get away from those emotions.

There was a flash of surprise melted into that moment of mirth, having thought he’d be more surprised or showed some kind of other reaction than reprimand. Those daggers would fall from him, brows scrunching with a newfound upset as her tongue rasped along the roof of her mouth in search for water, parched. “This far? You have been too busy working, to pay any attention to me until tonight, so how would you know if I've been sober?” she stated with a defeated tone, having meant for it to be angry but anger hadn’t touched her lyrics, didn’t even look in their direction. She sounded tired, weak, deflated. A feeling any time with her mother seemed to cause.

The way he withdrew would catch her attention, glancing out of the corner of her eye, not at all surprised he didn’t take the bait to just talk. He never did. If his mother was a key issue for their relationship then he couldn’t avoid it forever unless he intended on avoiding her forever and that made her throat tighten up. She wished she had never fallen for him, she had never felt so miserable as she did when he did this. A slap in the face was nothing, a threat from clients were casual but a cold shoulder from her husband felt like spikes being driven into every pound of flesh and it made her want to turn on her heels then and just leave, go back home on her own so she could clean herself without his judgment and made bad decisions all over again.

Nalik’s advice was useless. She couldn’t get closer if he didn’t let her and she had a feeling he never would. She wanted to ride on a high of him telling her that he loved her, but he made it so difficult.

“Why is it so hard to just talk to me? You keep wanting to know things about me but won’t talk about yourself then get silent bitchy if I do the same. I’m the one covered in wine and seconds from another meltdown. I should be the growling bitchy one, not you, again,” she sassed as he instructed her to follow him coldly, not budging from her place now that his hand had long since released her.

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He expected the surprise that colored her features and then the upset that followed. He anticipated the scorching touch of her displeasure next. But instead, she sounded weary, defeated even, there wasn't even an ember of her anger. The summer had exhausted them both, wearing them down with punch after punch. She would speak of his presumed ignorance, of his neglect. Charcoal ears would tip back briefly against his skull, not quite sure what to do with her pointed jab at his absence. A small, humorless smile that lingered on the cusp of melancholy would snake its way across his lips. ”I hired a couple guards to act as staff in the house while I was gone to keep you safe.” His admission was flat, spoken almost dejectedly that she honestly believed he knew nothing of her life in his absence, that he would simply head off to war and not ensure she was provided for in every way possible. He was reminded just how little she truly knew about him and evidently how little she thought of him. She wasn’t familiar with the sense of duty that bound him, his unwavering loyalty to those closest to him, even if neither had wanted their marriage in the first place. Like it or not, she was his now and he would do everything he could to not walk the same path his father evidently had.

He didn’t get very far before he realized she wasn’t following. Her temper would flare as she spoke again, digging her heels into the ground. Her stubbornness was complete with the proverbial crossing of her arms as she refused to move. With his back to her, he had a moment to let his impatience slide across his features. Eyes closed briefly and pale lips wrinkled. Turning back towards her, his expression was again smoothed to something slightly less upset but his expression with still tight. There was no stopping the way his eyes narrowed when she referred to him as bitchy. But she wanted answers and now she was demanding them.

Huffing out a breath, he stood on the edge of a decision. Suddenly he was tired, exhausted beyond anything he had ever felt before. Would it be so bad to share it with someone? Without intending to, he eyed her warily. The man had learned young to keep his cards close to his chest. The only ones that had been consistent had been his siblings. But over the years, Ryker took on more and more of their father’s attributes and Asher pulled away. All while Kenzo found himself wanting more, wanting someone that could offer a soft place to lay his head when the days got to hard. The past had taught him such a thing simply wasn’t possible. Yet Adeline offered exactly that. But his trust had been left broken at his feet. ”Because Adeline,” He paused, seeming to gather his next words. A quiet sigh would part his lips before he looked at her, searching her eyes for what he didn’t know. Jaws parted to speak but no words would come out. How did he explain it? Did he want to explain it? Wavering, he wondered if he could actually place his life in her hands, ”The last woman I let into my life ran off with another man.”

art + code: clae

A sigh would deflate her lungs and her ridgid shoulders as a smile that was far from humorous plagued her husband’s face, leaving her to let out a dramatized huff. Her brow would knit a little, not finding the charm in his smile she normally did and it irritated her. This was a lie of a smile that she almost rather have replaced by a snarl so it might match the energy he was exuding. That attempt to take the edge out of her muscles would be in vain as he answered her, feeling a different discomfort crawl into her skin. “The only staff I allowed near me since your return was Matilda,” she tilted her head, her attention drifting away from him toward where home was. “Where were they when your father was being a piece of shit? Or that hussy that smelled like your father was getting on my nerves earlier today? They are horrible at their job, you should fire them,” her ears tilted back, a small, amused smile pulling at her lip but there was a seriousness there. She meant every word. If they weren’t there when she needed them the most, then they were failing as guards and as servants, even if she was the one that casted them aside.

As her ire met a climax, she expected him to turn and march right back toward her and fling her caveman style over his shoulder to move her to wherever he was instructing her to follow. Part of her wanted that playful dominance she had met so early into their marriage, while the other wanted an honest conversation to get to know one another better.

Her breath would hitch as he turned to her, that false smile now completely wiped from his visage and it brought a chill down her spine for a reason she couldn’t fathom. He both looked gentle and cold, she couldn’t make heads or tails of his emotions at that moment. Was this a calm before a crackling storm that might deafen them both? That tenseness would return to her shoulders, meeting his gaze and never wavering from his attention now that she had it. She wasn’t afraid of him. All of his family she had met so far might like threatening her life but he had never done so, she’d like to think he’d stay that way. Protective. Loving. If that was what loving was. She was still not entirely sure if what they had was love, said or not. As far as she was concerned it was the closest thing to those romance books she had read as a teenager, just not so whirlwind and naive ignorance. They didn’t have love at first sight, she could say that confidently.

Her name would snap her from her little fantasy world, looking over at him with a twitch of her ears, waiting for something that would hurt her feelings all over again. The intensity of his gaze would cause her head to tilt up slightly, meeting them with dignity she was regaining now that she was away from the party. What he would say caught her entirely off guard as her peridots widened at the mention of another woman. At first, she thought he was talking about his mother but quickly realized he meant romantically. “And you expect me to be a filthy harlot that deserves to be buried six feet under?” canting her head to the side before slowly walking toward him with a sway to her step. “I would have done so already, if I was going to, when I thought you hated me. I'm a selfish woman that lives for herself and has no heart, so the story goes. Yet I was willing to destroy my perfect body to have your child, to keep a piece of you if you died. Do I smell of other men, or do I reek of desperation for only you?” she stared up at him, waiting for him to bury his nose into her frame to inspect her.

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His expression would go still when she spoke. She claimed that only Matilda had been allowed near her, but someone that was truly good at their job wouldn't be deterred by a maid. Though evidently those he had hired to protect his wife had failed. Jaws clenched with displeasure. Both guards had failed to mention the arrival of his father or this woman who spent time with him. "They'll be dealt with." Faint amusement softened the lines of her face but the seriousness in her eyes was barely a flicker to his aggravation. There would be hell to pay when he got his hands on them.

Despite the dark look on his face, she didn't wilt before him. Adeline looked up at him, her green eyes expectant as she waited for him to speak. When he did, he was rewarded with her surprise, the widening of her eyes suggesting this was the last thing she expected to hear.

Confusion was quick to contort his expression, his brows furrowing as he shook his head. "What? No." Sure she was paying for Natalia's sins, whether he admitted it or not, but if he held her at arms distance, it wouldn't matter what she did because it wouldn't hurt. Or so he thought.

He didn't move, letting her approach with the gentle sway on her hips. Again she attempted to assure him that if she were going to leave him, she would have done so already. She admitted to her own selfishness but her confession was the exact opposite. It was no secret how she valued her looks, what her appearance meant to her and while they had never discussed pups, she had never struck him as the mothering type. The night he left for war rushed to the forefront of his mind, his gaze unconsciously flickering to her stomach. He was reminded of his primal desire to see her belly swell with his offspring. Do I smell of other men? His gaze snapped back to hers, finding her within his reach, waiting for his inspection. For a moment, he hesitated. But he already knew the truth. She hadn't.

Stepping into her, he wouldn't bury his nose in her fur. He would tug her against him, teeth nipping not too gently at her skin. His emotions raged and a low growl of frustration bubbled up in his throat. "Come." He rumbled the command once more against her skin. This time he wouldn't wait for her to follow, he would herd her, nipping lightly at her, targeting places he knew she liked, quietly demanding her compliance and knowing just how to get it. But his intent wasn't to press her into the forest floor, to completely ruin her stained silks. Well, not yet at least. He would guide her through the darkening trees, leading her towards the stream. She would balk and he would ignore her, practically throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her into the cool water before easing her in. In an attempt to distract himself, to keep himself busy, he would tend to the wine stains in her fur, shooing her refusal away.

Alone, surrounded by the privacy of the forest and the hushed sound of running water, he would tell her his tale. "I'll start at the beginning." As if he read from a book, his voice lacked the emotion, he wasn't here to reminisce the good ole days and once he started, he couldn't stop. He didn't look her in the eye, his gaze distant as he focused on her stained coat. The weight of the first born son was heavy even from a young age, the disappearance of his mother and the subsequence assurance from his father that she had abandoned them all. He wouldn't outright admit that it left him starved for true companionship, for one he could truly depend on. He had learned to bury that feeling, to persevere without it. His childhood resurfaced in his adult years when Merrin was shoved in a jail cell. "I found her on my way home from the battle, she was trying to kill herself." His voice would soften, brows furrowing. It was quite the reunion between the mother and her three eldest children. Ryker had been ready to throw her off the cliff herself. Asher had been more sympathetic, more so than Kenzo would have thought. And Kenzo, well, he didn't want to witness his mothers death. His hands hadn't stopped working through her fur, his motions mechanical as if he needed the simple task to steady his thoughts.

There was no stopping it now, he was on a downhill slide and Natalia was a slippery slope. He would leave out the sordid details that she didn't need or want to hear. But he would admit that he had fallen head over heels, she had filled a void he hadn't yet realized he had. It wouldn't last though and she would leave him just as empty and heartbroken as she had found him. His touch would slow until it stilled, fingers buried in silks. After a few moments of silence, his eyes would lift, meeting her stare. He wasn't sure if she would have more questions or if it would answer all her questions, but either way, he regarded her with a hint of uncertainty. He was tense, as if he anticipated her rejection even more now that he had laid all his troubles at her feet.



exit i think

art + code: clae

There was a small twist in the brow to his statement of dealing with the apparent protectors he hired, not so satisfied as when she was the one doing the firing but it would be sufficient. It was hardly the biggest thing on her mind right now, though she couldn’t deny she was curious which faces belonged to these men blessed with providing her care.

Standing her ground hadn’t gone quite the way she had hoped as his body only seemed to grow more rigid and uncertain, as if what she had said was the complete opposite cure for what ailed him. Maybe that was the case. She didn’t understand the heart of others, she never had and that was clear in the way she went about things. Being upfront yet manipulative had been who she had been to get her way, to not look weak and to transcend in ways others could only fathom. Love… love wasn’t in the grimoire of keeping others how she wanted them because love wasn’t something just taken. Not true love at least. It was unfortunately earned and it made it more valuable than what she could buy at a store. A creature of laws, not of love.

Lips would pierce when he would finally get out of his still gawking, taking in his features one by one. From the scars on his lip to the wrinkling of his brow to the look in his eyes she couldn’t even hope to understand. Her eyes half lidded when his muzzle pressed into her skin, rolling her shoulder up against him from the light tickle before a sharp pain that made her wince with the smallest whine of displeasure. In that split second she debated between holding her ground further and withdrawing from him, not liking the violent behavior coming from him, having had enough of it from both of their families and it showed intensely in her eyes as they shimmered with the gloss that often came before tears. There was no chance for them to fall as he got more and more nippy, controlling in a way she wasn’t so sure she liked this second so far from the privacy of closed doors.

“For fucks sake Kenzo, these mood swings are getting more and more chaotic,” she chided him, nipping a few times back at him.

She didn’t want to admit that fear crawls its way into her veins at how much he switched between himself. Swallowing with an agitated look as she allowed herself to be shepherd away, just wanting to make this night end by any means necessary. She was tired of his games, of this hot and cold that never ended and played with her heart. What she hadn’t expected at all was what happened next as she was mostly dry one second and soaked the next, struggling in his neanderthal grasp as he continued to control her actions more than she was comfortable. Her coat fluffed up when he started to clean her, perpetually confused by everything that was happening in a span of minutes and that only grew stronger when he wilted one petal after another until only the center remained.

Any feelings she had prior would fade to something she equally had no grasp on, a pit in her stomach that felt like it could never be made whole. Rather than speak, she would tenderly kiss his cheek, finding no words in the moment as she processed everything. Her tongue would graze a few of his physical wounds before she’d finally utter the only thing that could come to mind. “I’m not them… I’m still here. I love you and I'll hold you even in the afterlife well past when our hearts stop beating,” she whispered against his ear.

-fade thread-

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