[ P ] blood on my hands

“I am to be remarried by the matriarch's decree,”
A cold icy fire burned through her skin, like a feverish chill flooded through her body. She froze in place, jerking to a halt as her breaths grew heavy and stilted.

“To Kvothe.”
Something snapped within her, all measured calmness exploding into a wild rage. Her eyes bulged, muscles flexing and body trembling as her adrenaline surged. It was not fear, but pure fury that made her body shake. Each hair along the bridge of her neck and down her spine rose in a spiky ridge, bristling as every fibre of her being refused to accept her mother’s engagement. It was wrong. It was a betrayal of her mother and father’s love. It was an insult to her mother’s grief. She could imagine it now. Ankh clinking glasses and toasting to a business deal well made, signing away her daughter’s rights like she was a piece of meat to be bartered with. It was unforgivable. ”How. Dare. She.” Xandria growled, voice punctuating each word with thunderous rage.

A snarl twisted her features, teeth chattering with the urge to rip into something. ”Why doesn’t she marry him? Why does it have to be you?” she exclaimed, not expecting her mother to answer. She already knew the answer. Ankh was simply too self important and why would she sacrifice herself when she had a widowed daughter to clap manacles around instead. She had an inkling of the divide between mother and daughter as a child. There had been no warm glances for Nassar either, but she didn’t think the matriarch hated her. She didn’t think she was cruel enough to wed her daughter to her dead husband’s best friend. It was so twisted and callous that it made Xandria feel physically sick.

If Xandria had anything to do with it she would ensure that Ankh would gain nothing from this marriage that she had arranged. Whatever political influence she was reaching for would turn to ashes before her eyes.

”Is there no way out of it? she finally asked, knowing that her mother would have considered every avenue to escape the matriarch's clutches.

code & art by claerie

 

Nassar stared straight ahead, amber eyes unwavering as a crack in the cobblestone became her drishti, or focus point. The muscles in her jaw jumped and her heart leaped in a valiant attempt to reach her throat. She did not need to turn and look at her daughter to see the rage for she could feel it. Xandria's voice echoed within the high ceilings, bouncing off of crumbling banisters and rotting wood. Frayed tapestries, all mostly consumed by moths, seemed to flutter from the heat wafting off of the girl's vehement anger. Nassar flinched involuntarily, a crease forming in her brow. Had this been the first she had heard of this news, she would have shared in the sudden, raw urge to tear down their familial home brick by brick. She would have howled as if her voice alone could bring down the walls and shatter what was left of the ceiling. But no. Nassar had battled, pressing at her mother's weak points in an effort to wriggle out. But her mother was a true predator, not one that had grown soft on her children. “She no longer serves in the army,” she snapped, not at her daughter but rather at the situation. It was clear that Nassar was going to great lengths to keep her emotions under control. Tension lined every muscle and her nape had ruffled. “And she wants—” Her teeth snapped shut, realizing that the walls had ears. “Come.”Briskly, Nassar jerked her head and began to trot deeper into the Tiamat holdings. ... When at last they arrived in a cellar, Nassar could not feel the cold even when her paws landed in a pool of ice-cold water that laid dormant upon the stone. “I do not know for certain,” amber eyes flashed as she stared at her daughter in the low light. “But the matriarch is not willing to die with the throne. Her loyalty is not to Adamh but to the Tiamats as a whole.” And even if it had ugly consequences, it was something Nassar could almost admire if she tried. “Kvothe may be a bastard, but he is a Highlander by blood.” Surely Xandria could understand her meaning? “my sin, my soul.”

 STOCK ➤Kati H. of Dawnthieves CODE ➤TWISTY 

    

@Xandria

The fire bounced off of her in sparks, anger radiating from the young Tiamat. Her mother was silent as she raged, allowing Xandria a moment to release some of her raw fury into the air. She did not know how she could contain it. It flowed through her veins like lava, molten hot wrath waiting to blow. It throbbed within her, pulsating with each beat of her heart. It needed to unload upon something or someone soon. The Tiamat Matriarch was the most tempting target. A bullseye marked upon her back, taunting Xandria like the flash of a red blanket.

She tried to push it down, thinking of her mother instead of her selfish desire to punish Ankh for doing this to them. Xandria could see how hard it was for her mother to reign in her rage. She began to speak about her circumstances, but silenced herself and ushered Xandria deeper into their holdings. The cellar was ripe with the scent of mustiness and dampness. Hidden away from Ankh’s servants who could easily whisper their conversation back to the matriarch.

Still seething, Xandria scowled over at her mother, waiting to hear what she had to say. She did not blame Nassar for this situation nor was any of the anger she felt directed at her. It was all at Ankh. I do not know for certain. her mother began. But the matriarch is not willing to die with the throne. Her loyalty is not to Adamh but to the Tiamats as a whole.

”She’s loyal to the Tiamat name and legacy,” she scoffed, although her ears perked with interest. She had thought Ankh to be a supporter of the crown, but apparently not. “Kvothe may be a bastard, but he is a Highlander by blood.”

The hint was clear enough. She wanted to strengthen their blood ties and form alliances with the Highlanders. ”So she’s preparing for Prince Jacob’s return?” Xandria asked, gaze darkening at her grandmother’s apparent deviousness. She didn’t care for king or prince and her mother knew that, and had had concerns about her loyalties, but she had promised her that it wouldn’t stop her from doing her duty.

”She doesn’t care about us. She just wants to use us,” she growled, bitterness coating her words. They were just pawns carrying the Tiamat name that she could use to spread her influence and bloodline. She shook her head angrily, wondering how long it would be before her pink gaze turned to her or Cairo and a match was made without their consent.
.

code & art by claerie

 

It was no surprise that once the kindling had been laid, Xandria caused it to catch fire. Her mind was sharp, a blade carefully crafted to scissor between the ribs and exact whatever she wanted—be it revenge or other things. Kohl's killer was merely an example of the former. Nassar's jaw tightened and sucked in a steadying breath. It was difficult to imagine her mother as an insidious rebel, one willing to prey upon the corpse of their King and his line. Ankh was a magpie through and through, an eager opportunist who would enjoy a symbiotic relationship until it proved burdensome. Once the wolf fell and ceased to bring home food, so too would the magpie feast upon her expired hunter, teasing the meat from the sinew and bone. “It is how she expresses love,” Nassar said at last. Even in the face of this betrayal, this pain, a bitter part of her could not simply banish Ankh's choices to the depths of hell. She was the matriarch... and Nassar's mother. When left alone with her grief, she could wallow and scream and cry. In front of her daughter, she felt obligated to try and... make excuses. “The prestige we carry, the trust invested in our family, the leaves we can take for grieving,” Nassar paused searching her daughter's eyes. “These are all boons we enjoy because of our name. Protecting it is important.” Though at what cost? “But that does not make it any easier,” she sighed, lifting the back of her paw to rub at her temples. “my sin, my soul.”

 STOCK ➤Kati H. of Dawnthieves CODE ➤TWISTY 

    

@Xandria

Her coat of earthen and flame bristled like static was surging through each and every nerve ending. She was a live wire, charged and ready for a spark to ignite her. Her mother’s justifications and excuses fell upon deaf ears. Xandria was much too stubborn to accept that such an insidious woman could feel anything close to love for her kin. The only people she truly valued were herself and Cairo. ”If that’s her love she can keep it,” Xandria said, golden eyes watching her mother intently. Did she really believe the words she was speaking or was she trying to convince herself and Xandria of it?

”You wouldn’t do that. You wouldn’t force me or Cairo to marry without our consent,” she pointed out, shaking her head. She knew how a real mother’s love felt and it was nothing like the calculated games that Ankh played with her own offspring. ”Mom. Tell me. How are you? Honestly?” Xandria asked, voice softening. She wanted to offer comfort, but would her mother let down her walls around her youngest daughter? Or would she keep up a facade of strength? Xandria hoped for the former. She wanted to be treated like an adult, someone worthy of confiding and not a child whose eyes needed covering from the harsh reality of the world.

She knew what would happen if Prince Jacob returned. There would be another war, more spouses would be widowed and more children would be left orphaned. She didn’t care for how the monarchy gave so much power to the nobles and ignored the plights of the common people. It was time for a change.

code & art by claerie

 

"If that's her love then she can keep it." Amber eyes met those of gold. It felt as though mother and daughter walked along a wire that had been drawn tight, the string cutting into their paw pads. On one side, there was strong familial devotion—the loyalty of one's blood, born between mother and daughter. It stood without question that Nassar would set the nation ablaze if only to save her daughter's life. The soldier carried so much passion for her children's safety that, when their safety was in question, she was a walking powder keg. On the other side was pride for the Tiamat line, a calculating awareness of the bigger picture—the whole that they all benefitted from. Although some pawns would topple over, the Tiamats would be stronger for it. Nassar would carry these burdens for her daughters. But would she make them carry such burdens too? Sighing softly, Nassar brushed her nose against her daughter's cheek. “No, you're right,” she answered honestly. “I would never force you to carry such burdens.” Her heart was too weak to mobilize her daughters as pawns in this game of chess. She would first destroy the board, the rules, and the system she was playing before she sacrificed her children in such a way. But was that the right choice? Nassar struggled to say. As Xandria softened, Nassar could not help but smile sadly. Although she wished to lean on her daughter, there were some things that she would keep the girl from. Not because Nassar did not trust in Xandria's skill or clever mind, but because they were worries that Xandria could not help her overcome. "...How are you, honestly?" “I am not doing well,” she confessed. “I miss your father. I miss your brother.” Ahkoris' absence was eating her alive from the inside out. What was worse? The not knowing or the finality of Kohl's death? She couldn't decide. “But I am doing better now that you are home.”  One missing child had returned safe and sound. And that gave her some of the hope that she desperately needed. Closing her eyes, she pressed her brow to Xandria's, eyes closing momentarily as she sucked in a steadying breath. “Shall we leave this musty cellar, hmm?” At this, Nassar could not help but laugh slightly. Here they were hiding like bunnies from a fox, but they were Tiamats. It was about time they greeted the sun. - exit Nassar via fade - “my sin, my soul.”

 STOCK ➤Kati H. of Dawnthieves CODE ➤TWISTY 

    

@Xandria

Xandria was not ignorant of the rules and politics that came with the privilege of blue blood. She had tried to follow her mother and sister’s example, and tried to be a good little soldier. The war, losing her father, the disappearance of her eldest brother, well it was enough to make her see the world in a different light. The fact that her family suffered to keep King Adamh in power was not lost on her. She wondered if he ever looked his army in the eyes and acknowledged the sacrifices they were making. Her grandmother was no different. She had offered up her mother as a prize in exchange for ties to an exiled prince. They were all expendable in the eyes of the elite.

Her eyes glowed with the warmth of sunshine when her mother confirmed what she knew to be true and she brushed her cheek affectionately against hers. ”I’m sorry she doesn’t feel the same way about you,” she answered, shaking her head sadly. She, meaning, Ankh. Xandria couldn’t bring herself to speak her name. Internally she was still seething with anger that the woman could do that to her mother, but she quietened her rage for her mother’s sake.

Just as expected Nassar admitted that she was not doing well. Her heart ached in their shared grief, realising that the disappearance of two of her children must have almost broken her. In the red haze of anger she hadn’t considered that. She would not make that mistake a second time. ”I won’t leave you again,” she promised, leaning into her mother’s touch with a soft sigh. She nodded with a forced smile when Nassar suggested they leave the cellar. A dark old cellar was hardly the place for two bright flames.

Fade exit

code & art by claerie