[ P ] Reintroduction

He owed her more than this, that he knew. But he didn't know how to give her more.

Victorian would never have counted himself a self-hating man. The thought of it seemed far too extreme when he was incredibly plain. He did his best, enjoyed the contentment of his days, and attempted to live a moral life. He even had a love, was in love, although they'd yet to marry formally. The approval had been given, almost torn really, from Aurora's uncle. In hindsight, it had been a foolish act of bravery when his relationship with her could have flourished in secret. Now that it was over, he was lucky. And he still was.

But he didn't feel like he was enough and he struggled to voice those words to Aurora because... because he knew what she would say: that he was. It was almost as if knowing that pushed him to work harder in an effort to carve out mroe of a place for himself in the army. Healed as he was, with the military vacancies abundant, he wanted to be worthy of her.

For she was a lady. He was a pauper.

It was a problem that he saw himself as so common in comparison yet it fueled him to strive to greater heights. Was that not a benefit in some twisted way? And would Aurora not benefit as well in the end? Perhaps... if he ever stopped moving long enough to take stock of how little energy he had. He was overworking himself to the bone and absent at the best of times.

Only, now he felt a bit sick. His head was muddled, his breaths heavy, and he was forced to rest before he brought the whole platoon down with him. So, a tad disheveled, he made his way home. It was late morning when he passed by the estate that Aurora shared with her uncle. Once they were married, he imagined that they'd share a home as well. But one so grand? It'd be a challenge to earn enough to afford such a thing.

Would she be okay with something simpler?

Victorian paused by the gates, not realizing he could see Aurora from a window if only he looked up.

AURORA

Her heart sank into her chest as she read one of her favorite stories at the most devastating part, though she could hardly concentrate with the shifting reality of her life, making her fidget instead of focus on the words her eyes trailed after. None of it sunk in and what did, she replaced with those within her life, making it hard to sink into fantasy and let her stresses fade away entirely. She had a sister. Another sister. No blood but still a sister. Sucking in a breath, she closed the book and smashed her face into the pages with a little more force than was needed. She didn’t hear any of the pages make that heartbreaking shredding sound, resulting in her not worrying at all about if she might have damaged the page.

Looking out toward the window, she took in the pointed sunlight that glared in. It was hardly good for the ink on the pages, having noticed some of the things she read when she was younger had faded to some extent compared when she had read them again not that long ago. Like the pages, she too was aging. The idea of being a child had long since faded just as the text. Though, as she gazed along the dusting of light, she would notice her pet cat resting in the sun enjoying the beam. Sometimes she wished she could be a cat. Lazy and carefree. What a wonder that would be. No expectations, no responsibilities. Just endless freedom to do as one pleases. Passage sure took advantage of that but his way to use it, well, she couldn’t really say she understood. He had gotten so lazy. Too lazy.

“Hmmmmmm.” Lifting her head from the book, she would slowly creep closer to the feline, ears twitching as she watched the cat in its peaceful snooze. His tail would smack her in the nose, spooking her for a second as she jolted with her fur fluffing up a little. She would calm just as quickly before gently placing her chin along Passage’s back, nuzzling into the soft fur. She was met with a growl and hiss, though no retaliation, causing her to pout at him. “It’s just me f-f-fluff puff,” she assured, meeting the cat's gaze before it flopped its head back down to grumpily try to sleep again, causing her to let out a soft chuckle. It seemed like a daily occurrence as of late. Whenever she was stressed or wanted to be held by a certain dark knight, she would opt to use the wild cat as a teddy. It hated it at first but had gotten used to it for the most part. At least he stopped scratching and would just go running off if he was really against the cuddles.

Tilting her head down, she smiled before gently giving a plush belly a raspberry, but something would catch her eye. Victorian? Without a thought in her head besides glee at him being here, she would straighten up and flee out the room, down some stairs and rush out of the door, carrying the hem of her skirt haphazardly all the way to the gate. As much as she knew it was ill advised to show affection in public until a marriage was official, she couldn’t help herself as she sheepishly pressed into him if he let her, sitting on her hinds to wrap her forelegs around his shoulders to pull him in. That relief was quickly replaced with concern as she noticed something off as she felt like she was in a direct beam of light where they touched. “Vic, you are sssso h-hot,” she said breathlessly, trying to regain some oxygen after running so far as she pulled back some to look at him better. As she realized what she said, she flushed and quickly backpedaled. “Are you okay? Can you count hh-h-h-how many paws I’m holding up?” she asked softly, waving only one paw in front of his face hoping he didn’t count multiple.

He looked sick, though she couldn’t tell if it was exhaustion or an actual illness just yet but either worried her all the same.

table by rae