[ P ] Torn

can't stay with you don't know who it is that i'm talking to i try, hold it all together like glue don't know who this is but it just ain't you The din growing around him was muffled by the thoughts running through his head. He wasn't sure why he'd come here or why he sat at the bar with a drink but here he fucking was again. He hadn't taken a sip yet, he simply stared into the reddish liquid forlornly. He'd been having a good day and then it all went to shit when a wave of grief and sadness had overtaken him on a solo walk. He'd started thinking about his sister and her death flashed across his vision before he could even stop it. They were supposed to get justice for her but it was crickets on that front and so they all lived on knowing her killer was still out there. And that's what he was to him: a killer. It wasn't just a war anymore, it was personal and he'd lost someone he'd never thought he'd have to live without. He'd traveled this far reflexively, in a near catatonic state, and ordered before he knew what he was doing. He swirled the cup in his paws and his lips quirked downward as he sighed, coming to finally. He leaned back, sliding his paws on the table and looking at the barkeep who was trying hard not to eye him with concern. It was at that moment he turned his head when someone came walking in and he blinked, surprised to see a familiar face. "Aurora?" he questioned, confused as to what she was doing in a winery. For a second he imagined her battling inner demons much like himself and that struck a chord in his heart. They hadn't gotten to spend much time together as of late, she kept to her home and they kept to theirs aside from short visits here and there. He knew she and Sif struggled with their relationship but he was unaware if there was anything actually wrong. "What are you doing here?" "If the accident will."

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AURORA

She had come here upon request of her uncle, or rather order, again. This time very much alone as she walked alone the shrubbery that lined the fields for as far as the eye could see for her short figure. A mind was far from its purpose of being here, much more focused on how little she had seen Victorian in the passing season and it bothered her dearly. She didn’t have to hide their relationship so coldly anymore but little good that did when he was nowhere to be seen in her day to day life, not hovering as her knight like she had dreamed their life would return to. Instead, he was off at work doing who knows what. Being around so many soldiers in her life, she would think she’d know that much but every wolf had a different schedule and purpose and she just wanted him here with her, keeping her captive in the embrace she craved more and more by the hour.

As she entered the tavern portion of the building, her thoughts would quickly pop at the sight of someone she hadn’t expected to be here of all places as autumn leaves shimmered over a tawny coat that was all so familiar. It was her name uttered that solidified it was indeed him and she let out a sigh. “Papa?” she answered back sheepishly, her ears perking back with a warmth, still not used to calling him despite nearly two years since she had known him to some capacity. Where she didn’t miss the cottage, she missed the silence and nature that surrounded them back in Melrose when she had stayed with him for a couple months out of her mother’s choices.

“My family owns this p-place, not mama’s side obviously. Umm sorry, I-” she let out a soft sigh, her ears twitching every which way as she tried to catch her mental footing. “My mind is e-e-everywhere but here. I d-d-d-didn’t know you drank…” she gestured to the beverage in his hand, her lips pressing together pensively. The smell she would never get used to, finding it burning on the senses and her tail would echo that with its small distaste in how it lacked the normal gentle sway with more agitated jolts here and there. "Though that’s my fault. I h-haven’t really provided you or Mama much of my time since the… war…" Her eyes drifted away, trying to hide the sorrow that lingered there and the tears that wanted to form as his face reminded her of Nassar more than she wanted to admit.

table by rae

can't stay with you don't know who it is that i'm talking to i try, hold it all together like glue don't know who this is but it just ain't you Khepri stared at her, still a little stunned to see her in a place like this but when she finally answered it all made sense. "Ah," he said, though when she mentioned his drink he shook his head. "I don't anymore..." he said quickly. He hadn't taken even a sip and while Aurora may not know the promise he'd made to Sif he'd made it all the same. He knew he would tell her about it later, but right now that was not what was on his mind. Aurora's mind was apparently elsewhere as well and he had to wonder just what had her flustered. He hadn't seen much of her in a while and that worried him. He thought about her from time to time and hoped she was okay at the Helvig's estate. It was like she'd read his mind as she mentioned not being around much and he offered her a soft smile. "Nothing is your fault, we've all been rather busy," he said. "We should make time for an outing or something," he added hopefully, wondering if she would be interested in such a thing. Whether it was just the two of them or the family, he did not care either way. "If the accident will."

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AURORA

She would allow her gaze to travel plenty away from him toward the red hues of liquid that rattled in a glass he had been looking at so intensely a moment ago. Hesitantly, she’d reach out to grab it, pulling it closer to her as she analyzed the quality of the drink. The shade of ruby, the way it sloshed as it was moved, to the very velocity of the product she was all too family with as a woman with it being part of her very name. “I never understood the ap-p-peal of drinking. Many customers will say it’s to ease pain or forget for a little while b-b-but wouldn’t you feel worse feeling nothing at all?” she asked quietly, having never bothered to ask her mother why she drank when she was younger. In part, because she thought she already knew the answer to that but as she grew older she didn’t carry as much certainty in it anymore. It was a slippery slope.

Slowly, she’d peek up at him with curiosity, her mouth opening to ask why he was here but quickly feeling out of place asking such personal questions. There were plenty of reasons she could guess. Mostly deaths that had racked up a tally far larger than she personally had. “Why are you here, if n-nnot to drink?” she’d change her direction, finding it strange he would have come all the way here and not do anything the place offered. She couldn’t imagine he’d use the Inn connected to it when he had plenty of time to head home.

Her head perked at the mention of spending time together, surprise illustrating on her face for a moment before a cheerful sheepishness took over in its place, looking away from him with a bashful smile. “I’d like that… th-though can you really spare the time between work and… my… new siblings?” The bit of glee would taper the more she talked, still finding it so weird there were two more children she had as blood when only two years ago it was just her and her mother. She wasn’t sure how to feel about any of it as each time she thought she was getting used to change, something else would be added. "Sorry, I'm probably annoying asking so many q-questions again."

table by rae

can't stay with you don't know who it is that i'm talking to i try, hold it all together like glue don't know who this is but it just ain't you Aurora pulled his drink closer, peering into the cup with an analytical look on her face, and Khepri wondered what she might be thinking. He knew Sif had not been the most present mother for Aurora and he now knew why but it was not his place to try and mend that relationship. If he injected himself into it he could very well make things worse and that was not what he wanted. She spoke, telling him she did not get why others drank. He gave her a soft smile. "Sometimes I'd rather be numb than feel what I'm feeling because it hurts so much. But there are other ways of coping than numbing yourself. Better ways." he said. He might not know what those better ways were yet but he was working on that. He just felt some insight on the matter might help Aurora in some way. She peered up now at him curiously and asked him why he was here if not to drink and he sighed, moving away from the bar's edge. "Honestly I don't know why I ended up here; I was thinking about drinking my problems away and somehow this was where I wound up. But I don't drink anymore... so I ended up just staring into my drink." he admitted. "I promised I wouldn't anymore," and he intended to keep that promise. Then the conversation took a lighter turn, despite her feeling like they didn't have any time for her with their new siblings. "We can make time. I can take some time off and we can find a sitter for Rune and Nasiyre. Maybe Haskell and Sheik would like to come with, if you'd like that?" He wasn't sure how close she was to her siblings but he hoped that their company was something she enjoyed. He had seen her with them, playing and reading when they were younger among other things. It had been nice for them to grow up with an elder sister. But now they felt so separated he wasn't sure where anyone stood. "If the accident will."

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AURORA

Her gaze shifted to him as he started to answer what others in the bar seemed to think was a rhetorical question but he was a lot more willing to take her word as it was, making her tail sway back and forth just a little bit though it would slow as she felt like he was talking to her like she was just a little girl. That was likely all in her head, so used to many talking to her in such a way she just felt like everyone did whether they were or not. She would sigh to herself, keeping her fur in place as her tail returned to swaying back and forth, feeling like she should just be happy he was spending time with her even in a place like this. Her head did tilt a little to the last bit he had to say on the matter. Better way. “Is that what you a-a-are to mama? Her better ways?” her ears tipped, knowing that was when her mother started to stop drinking was back when she met him what seemed like a lifetime ago when she was still so small. At least, she felt smaller then.

An ear twitched at his explanation for being here, having not wished to make him address the more personal reasons but that was still more vague than she’d admittedly like to hear. “It’s so far from h-home, so you must have been hiding… from… hmmm,” she would trail off, wondering who it was he made such a promise to. She wouldn’t be surprised if it was to one of her half siblings or even Nassar despite her soul being departed from this realm. Maybe she was being too obtuse, and he meant himself. She promised herself things all the time, like trying to be more social and to not let others stop her from doing what she wanted to do. It was always hard fought, or she’d cave in horribly quickly. There never seemed to be an in between.

“I get running, though. That’s kind of what I’m d-d-doing, running away from my confinement but now I’m kind of in another, huh? Just in a less p-pretty cage,” she laughed to herself with a tip of misery she tried to hide. Ears would pin at the thought, realizing she probably said too much but she was too far deep to try to pretend the words never left her mouth. Her nails trailed along the drink’s lip before lowering her head to take a single lap of it. It had become no less appealing as her muzzle wrinkled to the bitter notes, pushing it away with both paws like it was the most vile thing ever as she coughed a few times while her fur ruffled. She could hear the bartender chuckle, taking the drink away from them both before offering the noble a drink of water instead, which she had taken a little too readily.

She shook her head timidly and rejected the idea of her siblings coming with them. “I’d prefer j-j-just us, if that’s okay?” she swallowed, hoping that didn’t sound harsh as she peeked at him from the corner of her eye. She saw Sheik and Haskell far more than she saw him and admittedly, she wanted some undivided attention from someone rather than sharing it with two others.

table by rae

can't stay with you don't know who it is that i'm talking to i try, hold it all together like glue don't know who this is but it just ain't you Aurora's question drew a smile from his lips and yet he shrugged his shoulders. "I'd like to think we are each others..." he said softly. She helped him through a lot of shit in ways she might not even realize. Her next comment had his ears twitching and he looked down, a little ashamed. "I just got used to hiding from home, from your mother and the kids when I was hurting after Nassar died. I promised Sif I would stop doing that," he said. And he'd kept his promise, he hadn't had a drop since nor an herb much as he might want to. But he'd not wanted to be seen enough that he'd ended up here. As she mentioned running away he turned his head to look at her, confusion in his eyes. He knew little of her home life outside of the manse, now that she had returned to the Helving house he knew even less. "You're okay, aren't you?" he asked. She then mentioned that she wanted it to be just them if they were to go out somewhere and he smiled, nodding his head. "That would be fine." he said. He didn't need to bring the family with him to do things and in fact it would be easier to get time away for just one wolf rather than a whole hoard of wolves. "If the accident will."

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AURORA

Her head tilted as he spoke of her mother, feeling some sympathy for him even if it wasn’t quite in the same regard as she pushed the cup away from herself and motioned for the bartender to take it away, not wanting him tempted with it sitting there. Ears pinned back a little at the promises made and she nearly scoffed at that, recalling how many times her mother failed to keep her own, but she wasn’t about to drag her into the mud either. She was starting to wonder if their coping habits were how they ended up together in the first place, maybe sharing time at bars together all the time. Shaking her head, she refrained from trying to step into that direction at all, not wanting him to end up telling her mother anything she might say. No, it wasn’t actually that. She didn’t want the workers and patrons to hear her speak poorly and as he asked how she was doing, she didn’t want to answer that either.

She remained silent, giving no responses or reactions to any of it and only just offering an ear as he said that being alone would be a fine option. This she would smile to; happy he would agree and not guilt her at all into making it seem like she was being selfish and cruel for not wanting the rest of the family with them. “Okay!” she beamed, her tail wagging and her usual timid behavior vanishing for a moment in time.

“I should probably do what I c-c-came here to do. Ummm we can talk more when we go on that t-t-t-trip. I’ll send you a bird when I’m free and hopefully you will be too,” she shifted the focus away from her for the most part and drew away from the seat before turning to give him a hug. “I’ll tell you the answer to y-your question then…it's best I d-don't h-h-h-here,” she said softly, whispering into his ear while they were close with her paw blocking the view of her lips from others. As much as she saw the workers as friends, she didn’t trust them as if they were Gwydion or Victorian. She had to be careful because like she just said a moment ago, this was just another one of her cages.

“Love you. Bye, papa,” she added as she pulled away before disappearing behind the counter and into the back rooms where she was to do the job she was sent for by her uncle.

-aura exits-

table by rae

can't stay with you don't know who it is that i'm talking to i try, hold it all together like glue don't know who this is but it just ain't you Khepri watched the bartender retrieve his drink and he offered the man a wry smile. He felt foolish now for ever having ordered it, just to waste it that way, but he was glad he hadn't succumbed to the desire to drink after all. He attention would then drifted back to Aurora at her bright 'okay' and he would offer her a warm smile. She seemed to light up at the prospect of spending some time with him. He loved spending time with her, too, as little as they got to spend together. She then told him she had business to attend to, more or less, and that she'd send for him when she had the time for their trip. He nodded and hugged her back and then whispered in his ear warily about his question, not wishing to answer here it seemed. He blinked, a little surprised by that but only responded agreeably. "Alright," he said softly. Then she told him she loved him and bid him farewell before disappearing behind the counter and into a room. He watched her go and thought the whole thing a bit strange, but instead of following her he shook his head and headed out of the bar and back home. exit khepri "If the accident will."

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