[ P ] If only we made it right

The crisp, cool autumn wind swept through the tall grasses, each blade chasing one another clear to the cliffs of aberdeen that she and her brother both shared admiration for; there was no better place for the winds of the highlands to reclaim her brother's body than right here. While she was still hesitant on his own desires for his own funeral, she found a sliver of comfort knowing that his body wouldn't rot and spoil in the ground that was contaminated by the filth she saw on the battlefields.

Her help was rather plentiful, though surely a debt would be owed; in this moment however, her only concern was keeping herself anchored where she stood- she knew if she gave in to the emotions weighing heavily upon her, she would tear her brother's body from the pyre and bury him how she saw fit, and when. But if she didn't give his body away in atleast this way, his image would twist and contort in her head and she refused to live what life she wanted to with such an image in her mind.

She imagined-hoped- that when this moment came she wouldnt feel anything any longer; if Crixus was dead, and she accepted it, she should be able to stand here in this moment and not feel the heaviest of weights on her shoulders and such an ache in her chest- right? And yet it seemed as though he was still with her some how in this moment- how badly did she want to rid her mind of him and everything she felt each time she thought of every moment ahead of her knowing that it was only her left. She wanted nothing more than to reverse the roles, trade places. She struggled to be a sister, whereas Crixus did everything right and yet he was the one who lay on the pyre while she still had the privilege of breathing.




"speech" "thoughts"

There was no longer warmth he felt, instead he was only met with a lingering cold and a sense of emptiness all the time. He had watched his sister tug and pull at his body to bring it off the battlefield while he aided her, but she still struggled. He was no longer a body, but an entity, only able to observe from a distance and see his new life after life. Loreli traveled long and hard to bring him to his resting place, and where he thought she would bury him she would instead sending him off in a Viking style funeral. She knew him all to well, aware he would not want to be feasted upon by the bugs who lived underground. When it was her time he hoped she too would find someone who would offer her the same respect.

Crixus watched as she remained, unable to leave his body. He could feel the presence of her sadness though it confused him. He waited minutes before the hour and she stood firm at his resting site, and when he went to leave her he too was stuck in place. In a way she was calling on him, and he was allowed the time to respond.

Whatever it was, he would take advantage of it.

”You need not mourn me, dear sister,” a voice easily recognizable, but there was an eerie touch. He pressed his nose against her shoulder and it stuck, but he could not feel her warmth in return. It saddened him that this would more than likely be the last time he ever got to see her, none the less speak with her, so why not tell her all he needed to?

”The last thing I would have ever hoped to do was leave you alone in this world, Loreli, I know I wasn’t the best sibling, but I have always loved you fiercely. I pains me to see the grief I have caused you, and it pains me more I am unable to protect you.” A long sigh escaped him.

”I am sorry. For everything.” She was the first, and only apology he ever had to give in his short lived life.

she hid her emeralds from the world around her, the world where she didn't want to live. They were supposed to be of one soul, but in this moment she couldn't even feel the other half of her soul- she couldnt feel him, and she simply didn't want to be in a world where she couldn't even feel his presence. Instead, she was consumed by the warmth of the occasional tears that welled up and fell from her shut lids.

Warmth was something she had so much of when they were pups. Even in the cold den they were left to when their parents disspeared into the night, they had enough warmth for only one another. Never once were they found apart, Crixus always playing the roles of protector and antagonizer. Where Lorelei went, Crix followed, what was hers was his and in return her brother always made sure she was never cold, never alone, and always loved.

That all changed at some point. Once more she circled back to the same damning thoughts that would forever plague her, forever taunt her as she lived and he no longer existed with her. Her eyes would jolt open, no longer warm from the tears but hot from the frustration and anger. something else would twist and pull her mind all in the same moment and she was easily overwhelmed.

His voice, a trick of the mind, yet another form of torment for her she figured-atleast until she felt a stab of cold brush her shoulder. Her ears would tear back, a sharp breath drawn in as she fought to stifle a sob all while her body pivoted to face mindgame she was forced to play- surely it was the Fae, not pleased with either of their choices. But as she listened to his voice and watched her brother's apparition, she was easily convinced it was no game of the Fae.

She could never in a million years put together everything she could possibly want to say to him in this moment. In her mind she would scramble and frantically try to reach for all of the words she wanted, but nearly all of them would fade from her reach.

"I love you, Crixus. " and how she wanted to scream at herself for not saying it as they grew older, how she never let those words fall from her lips while he was alive. She took every second for granted, letting time slip away and rejected the idea of appreciation when it would make him look better than her.

A quiver of her lip kept her from speaking at first, but she would fend off any sobs as she spoke once more. "Do not apologize, You were-are- the best of anything and everything, to and for me. " her breath would begin to shake as she glanced back to the pyre that was only just lit, none of the flames yet licking his corpse. Turning back, her chords cracked as they strummed for him hear. "Would it be selfish of me to want to follow you?" she would reach for the side of his maw with her own, only to feel nothing but a short brush of cold against her. her lips would twist as her eyes snapped shut and a scoff at herself left her lips; between a trembling breath she tried to continue. "You have given up your life, and what am i to do with mine, now? " taking hers would be of no service to crixus now, and pointless would be all of his efforts to make she lived while they both walked this earth.




"speech" "thoughts"

"And I love you," he could feel his immortal heart break at her words, her sadness caused him to stir. Never did he wish to see her like this, so broken, so sad and because of him. Her lips quivered as words trembled from them, "I would love nothing more than to be reunited with you again." He stepped forward to touch her with his nose, but it brushed passed her shoulder. It was easy to forget he would never be allowed to touch her again. "When it is your time, dear sister." He knew his time left here was wavering, he could feel the pull of wherever he belonged beckoning him back into its grasp. "I don't have much longer, Loreli," his lips curled into a soft frown.

He moved closer to her until they were eye to eye, and he would ensnare her in his stare. "You are to live your life as if we still breathed the same air," his tone was demanding, yet light. Crixus didn't wish to see her wither away into nothing due to him no longer being her lingering shadow.

A force tugged at him once more, this time less keen on letting go. "Don't forget me sister, live for me as I will live through you. I love you, I always have. You are my biggest achievement, and I have never once regret being your other half." With a swift burst of air he would then leave her, and though she would feel alone he would never allow that to be so.

exit crixus