Reflection

(OOC: all Raith dialog is in gaelic in this thread)

There was a whispering silence as he rested alone in a den far from where he grew to call home over this long, exhausting year, feeling like a burden staying within the fortress. With his warrior status stripped from his chest, he saw no reason to take up space and materials away from those that actually could fight and it floated a heavy weight in his stomach. Warrior. Has that title ever fit him? It felt like a joke now after how often he had failed time and time again. It didn’t matter now, his life could never be what his father had wanted of him and he was coming to terms with that reality as his tongue flicked over his nose to calm the discomfort in his own skin.

The growing pains had finally ended, adulthood was just around the corner and he was hoping that meant it would be the last he’d ever have to deal with it. A herb a friend had forged for him had also made his hip more tolerable, tears had long since dried from his cheeks from an agony that was tame down to an ache so long as he didn’t put too much weight on his affected limb. The therapy had also been helping strengthen the muscles, something he should do now before he forgot as he hoisted himself from the comfort of his bed to head out of the dark crevice. Tilted his head back and forth, checking around for others, he let out a sigh as he limped slowly but surely toward the stream not too far away. There wasn’t as much instability in each step, able to keep his shoulders level and the tremble from his legs.

He was healing. He was recovering. He kept mentally telling himself that, hoping it would come true that one day he could use the limb to its full capacity one day. His wish for mother’s return had come true, so why not this too?

Because it was selfish.

Carefully, he would descend down some stones toward the water’s edge, his tail swaying for balance as he stumbled here and there. A sigh flared his ribs, taking it even slower much to his resentment. He couldn’t worry the family by breaking something else and crashing into the water then drowning. Shaking his head, he would finally reach his reflection. He’d tilt his head here and there, feeling like something wasn’t quite right. When had he filled out this much? His face was far more mature than when he had last looked and scars he didn’t remember having, decorated his structure.

Wait… was his reflection smiling?

Raising a paw, he patted his face, testing the curve of his muzzle to find no such thing there. The reflection didn’t mimic his gesture either and his heart started to beat rapidly in his ears, panic setting in as the reflection rose from the surface of the water. He stumbled backwards, only to feel a cold skim his entire body, making him shiver. “It seems I was late, someone else has already taken my body,” the phantom that looked so much like him jested with a hearty laugh. Raith sat there baffled, watching his reflection move around with an eerie presence.

“Kiel?” the boy croaked in confusion, causing the phantom to turn his attention back toward him with that same twinkle Raith lacked and always had. How did his mirror image seem so different yet exactly the same? It made him want to puke. He had to be dreaming or the fae were toying with him. Reaching out, the figure didn’t move out of his way and his paw didn’t stop at the fur as it went right into the cold air of a body. Jerking his paw away as realization started to set in that this was something different than either of those options. “You aren't me..." he breathed to the brother he never knew, coming to terms with the fact Kiel and him were not two of the same soul. Shaking his head, he refocused on what was more important. "You shouldn’t be in this realm. Who do you need to see?”

Mother was right and Kiel had her smile.

table ; bunny manip ; wisper

villians aren't born
darling they're made

It would be a lie to say she was okay. Sure she put on a brave face each morning, dragging herself out of bed and tending to her duties just as she had done before. But there was a vacancy in her once warm eyes. Her body was healing, she was putting weight back on, the mats were gone from her tawny coat. Her paws were most healed, but she still felt the twinge of pain that shot up her forelegs periodically.

She should be happy. Luthais was home, his injuries miraculously healed despite their severity. Searla and Roisin were both fairing well too. Raith was even improving, his leg bothering him less and his body growing stronger. Her family was alive and well, all together once again. But the murmurs of another battle were becoming impossible to ignore.

The hour was early when she had left her bed that morning. Her walk had been aimless, even her thoughts were quiet. There was little peace in her solitude.

The wind would catch her fur, ruffling it lightly and bringing the scent of Raith. Ears perked, her paws carrying her towards him without a second thought. Navigating Perth was second nature, she hardly gave it a second thought as she was walked closer to the stream, seeking out her youngest son. She expected him to be alone, as he so often was when he ventured away from their family home. But what she found, she never expected to see.

Paws froze, rooting her in place as she stared with wide eyes. A strangled gasp would have both her sons turning to look at her. Her mind scrambled, trying to process what she was seeing. Raith was there, clear as day, just as he always was. But beside him was another, one that could be his spitting image expect he was older, harder, battle worn in ways Raith was not. "Kiel?" She breathed his name in question. Brows furrowed, her mouth slightly ajar in shock. Nairna shook her, squeezing her eyes shut as if that was enough to make her see clearly.

But he was still there, smiling at her as if he had never died. "Its not possible." Her voice shook as she approached her sons, looking between the both of them with a frantic expression, as if either might have an answer. "Hi mama." His voice was just as she remembered, a deep rumble with an easy confidence. Now that she was closer, she could soak in the details of her eldest son. His figure was opaque, a reminder that he was not bound to this world. She wouldn't hesitate to approach Kiel, to press into him, desperate for a hug she'd never feel again. But there was nothing to press into, a cool touch spread across her skin and she didn't halt against his mass. "Careful." He chided gently, stepping back with a sadness in his eyes.

To have her dead son standing before her was overwhelming, but to not be able to touch him either? Tears welled up in her turquoise eyes. "One of you tell me whats going on." She would demand, her voice thick with emotion as she looked between them again.

speech

template by bean

Coming home before the next wave of battles seemed appropriate. Roisin was feeling melancholic and decided to spend some time by her brother's graveside to feel closer to him. On her way down the familiar trails and paths her ears pricked upwards at the sound of her family's voices carrying on the wind. Apparently she wasn't the only one who needed a break. Both Raith and their mother, Nairna had suffered greatly during the last battle so she was relieved to see them at home away from the stress of war. It appeared that they were speaking to someone. Two Raiths wavered before her vision and she blinked, shaking her head in confusion. The penny only dropped when that familiar teasing drawl addressed her and that disarming cheeky smile caught her eye. ”Forgot me already, Rosy?”

She flinched and jerked away from the mirage of her brother. ”What kind of trick is this?” she demanded, unwilling to believe that Kiel was speaking to her. It was a cruel trick of the fae and she wasn't falling for it. ”The fae have taken his face and voice. It's not him,” she turned away from the figment of her brother coldly. Anger bubbled within like lava churning in a volcano.

Art by curiotea

Luthais had followed Nairna out into the night, as he often did, whether or not she noticed. Her return had been nothing short of a miracle, but the condition she had been in still haunted him every day and even in his dreams. He was not convinced that a strong wind would not blow her over. He was not convinced there was not an Imperial bastard behind every tree. Who knew what could be out there? He had found that ghost-like slave master (he refused to commit Thea's name to memory and even more stringently refused to voice it in his head) in Jacobite territory. That meant there could be more.

And so he was trailing along behind her, staying downwind, treading carefully, when he heard voices up ahead. Nairna stopped abruptly, and so did he, but just for a moment. When he heard her gasp, he took off in a sprint, slamming down hard on his injured hind leg (which had mostly healed but still caused him pain) as he rushed to her aid. But when he arrived, in a chaotic whirlwind of leaves and heavy breath, he froze. There were three others with his wife: Roisin, Raith, and... "Kiel."

The name slipped out before he had fully processed. Nairna was near the spectral form, as if she had been trying to hug him. Raith, Kiel's doppelgänger, stood to the side, and Roisin was turning away, uttering, ”The fae have taken his face and voice. It's not him." Luthais did not turn away. Instinctively he moved closer to where Nairna was, utter shock wiping all other emotion from his face except -- growing mistrust. "This is impossible," he said, unknowingly voicing Nairna's own words once more. "But it is," said Kiel then, looking imploringly to both he and Roisin. For the first time perhaps ever, Luthais jerked back as if he had been bitten, as if Kiel's voice were a hot iron pressed to his face. "I do not know how," Kiel continued. His voice was sad now as he watched his family split evenly before him, two embracing his presence and two casting it aside.

Luthais, for a few moments, could not figure out which side he was on -- another first. Then he said, his voice low and dangerous, "Roisin is right." And yet another first. "Raith, Nairna, step back. This creature shall not have you."

"We are all young and naive still."

There was a disturbance before he could hope to get an answer from the figure before him, causing his head to snap toward the sound of pawsteps making their way toward him. He wasn't sure who he was expecting but the shaken voice of someone seeing the same ghost as him would startle him a little, having thought only he would be able to see him. That it was a vision from a guilty mind, of the failure had been and always will be. Of course, there had been hope that this stronger reflection was something brought forth by the fae, there was the paranoia he had lost touch after what had happened last they had contacted him so openly but in a very different way. His lips parted a fraction but no words came out, almost jealous that his mother’s attention seemed so squarely on the one that wasn’t him, though he couldn’t explain why at the moment.

It was even talking to her in return, loving words as if it was going home and would get to stay with her forever and it caused him to swallow deeply. His brow pinched as she tried to hug him, to watch a dance that didn’t exist in the same field. He took a few steps forward himself, uncertain how to process what was going on inside his own head as tears welled up in his mother’s eyes, pulling at a string within his chest.

Then came another and another. He watched it all in silence, observing each interaction like nothing more than an audience of someone that couldn’t even be perceived. He was the ghost here and a heat burned at his eyes as the one that so easily stole the attention was rejected and as much as he felt he should be happy, he wasn’t as Roisin marked the fae as something cruel and something to denote from them. Was that a sign the path he wanted to take, the one that had always called to him would be resented by them just as much. He had always seen himself as an envoy for them, that this was just another task they wanted him to do and as stood there being told to get away from the celestial body, he wouldn’t budge at all.

Rather he took a step closer to Kiel, a weight heavy in his chest as he looked between all three of his family members before falling the heaviest on his father and mother. “Why? Isn’t he who you wanted? Maybe the harbingers are answering your call and want him to take…his body back,” he stated calmly though a couple tears had found their place along the rim of his eyes, adding a shiny gloss. “I failed at being his replacement. Failed at being what you needed and now he's here to trade places... to be the perfect son I’m not.” He looked over to the face that was a distorted version of his own face.

The apparition didn’t look pleased by this assumption of why he was here. “Don’t be a knucklehead, kid,” it huffed at him, though it didn’t disappear either.

table ; bunny manip ; wisper

villians aren't born darling they're made

It took no time at all for her gaze to sharpen, snapping to both Roisin and Luthais. They scorned the fae, thinking the figure before them a curse meant to do them. "Enough!" She snapped, not budging despite her husbands command to do so. Kiel tried pleading with his father and sister, but she could see they stubbornly refused to be moved. 'Shame on the both of you." She growled.

Before she could say more though, Raith would speak up. His voice calm, deceptively so because she looked at him, tears had welled in his eyes. Isn't he who you wanted? Her brows pulled together in confusion. To be the perfect son I'm not. For a moment, she was utterly speechless, her jaw slightly ajar with her shock, eyes wide. A moment later, displeasure collided with hurt. His words cut deep. But he dare accuse her of wanting him replaced by her first born? He dared to question her love for him? It ignited her turquoise eyes. It wasn't often that Nairna was riled to genuine anger within her family, so when her tempered flared, they would all know.

Kiels ghost utter his displeasure. "Quiet!" She snapped, no longer looking at her eldest son. No, now it was her baby boy that commanded her attention. "You think so little of me? That I'd replace you?" The measured way in which she spoke was forced, like she was trying to best not to completely lose it. "You think so little of your father? Your sisters?" She seethed. "Kiel is dead." Her words were blunt and harsh. "Nothing in this world will bring him back." It was a simple fact. "And even if there was, I wouldn't allow him back if it meant losing you. His life is not yours, nor is your life his." Nairna loved all of her children dearly, but she wouldn't trade one of their lives for another. She had grieved Kiel, he was gone from her life forever and the only thing she wouldn't give to have him back is her living children. Hurt bled into her outrage until it overwhelmed the scalding heat of her temper.

Where had she gone so wrong that her son believed she would so easily give him up? Ears tipped back, pressing to her skull tightly. Instead of enjoying whatever trick this was, whatever the fae had conjured up, she found herself teetering on the edge. There was no telling how long this apparition would stay so why couldn't she sit for awhile and hear the sound of her sons voice, of his laughter? To gaze upon his smile once more? But there would be no joy here today, not when Raith laid his feelings out before them so clearly. "I didn't know I failed you." She whispered the words, her voice cracking. "I'm sorry."

speech

template by bean

Roisin did not rush to the spectre like her mother and brother. She shied away from the otherworldly creature, fur bristling like an angry fox. Throughout her life she had never thought of the fae as something that should be worshipped, but rather feared and respected. They were entities beyond her understanding and were just as capable of kindness and cruelty as a wolf was. The ghost wearing her brother's face was no different. It was all a game to the fae masquerading as him. That made much more sense to her than him suddenly reappearing before them years after his death. Ghosts. She didn't believe in life after death. Once you died you were gone.

”Enough!” her mother boomed with righteous fury and Roisin flinched, ears trembling a little as she fought not to crumble under authority. “No! she raged back, standing straighter and harnessing the rage kindling within. “It's not Kiel,” she insisted, ruby eyes glaring at the phantom with hatred. “Why would he suddenly appear after all this time? It's messing with us and it's trying to divide us,” she pointed out, looking at each of them. She hadn't expected her father to agree with her, but at least it was one less person to convince.

With the emotional outburst from Raith a whirlwind of emotions crashed over her. With narrowed eyes she glared at him. “Don't be an eejit. It's messing with your head,” she told him, convinced now more than ever that it was extremely dangerous. She would have words for her brother later once it was safer, but now was not the time.

She could hear it trying to reason with her, using her brother's pet name for her to rile her up. A solid stone wall faced it. She would not acknowledge the fae shadow.

code: elyon | art: curiotea