[ P ] Desperate Plea

It felt like she was steadily losing her mind. With every she step she took, hobbling back toward Melrose, Kylar realized that every wayward flight of the past had held only a fraction of the fear that she now felt. When she had sprinted away from Anteros, she had thought her life would end. She had watched the pack that they had built suddenly have no space left for her and the man she had feared most was at its helm as Anteros' right hand. In a way, she had been right. That life had ended. From its metamorphisis, Kylar had given up on being a protector in a sanctuary. She had found love, acceptance, and trust in Nephele—and modesty too. With Anteros, she'd been living on the fumes of a dream from her childhood. As youths, he'd made her feel like her disability wasn't there—like she could overcome anything and be a knight with three proper legs and one stiff one. By contrast, Nephele had helped her how to live with her disability, not in spite of it. Neither approach was wrong... just different. Having picked the latter, Kylar had come to find joy in the smaller, simpler things in life. She commanded no army and had no military decorations, but she chased off pests and wrangled rebellious pups. Kylar didn't oversee drills and patrols, but she dolled out herbology assignments and kept a close eye on any students attempting to cheat or plagarize. She'd found comfort and contentment in domestic bliss and motherhood. So why had she felt the urge to jump in the moment she heard about the protest? Try as she might to say that she hadn't wanted anything bad to happen, Kylar had suspected it would. The protestors had taken a chance at Adamh's life before. What was to stop them from capitalizing on the chaos again? And if she could help stop it all... well the thought had been tantalizing. Getting a chance to help the soldiers had verified her suspicions, elated her with the feeling of finally contributing to a long forgoed but not forgotten dream, and knocked her out cold. When she woke up, she was in a medical bay with wolves tending to her wounds. Her stiff, poorly healed right leg had ballooned up with inflammation. New fractures in badly healed bone, he'd guessed. All of the scar tissue was preventing healing, and so it'd be a while before she could walk normally again. Still, she had hobbled to court, ready to see the fruits of their labors. Only, instead of feeling relieved, Kylar saw that her daughter had been there. Had attacked soldiers, knocked one out. The sight had made Kylar's blood go cold and she had left after that, tears stinging in her eyes. She did the first thing she thought of. She sprinted home to her wife—but the journey took days. Fear coursed through her bloodstream. Confusion too. Disgust, anger, then fear again. It was an endless cycle of cruel sprites to keep her company, always torturing her with new images of Willow down in the prison. What made it worse was the deep, gut-wrenching concern that her daughter had done something to deserve it. Had hurt someone. Nearly killed them. This was far worse than that night when she had fled to that coastal pack in Cyrileth. Far, far worse. ... Muddy paws tore through the garden, disregarding the neat rows she and Nephele had prepped for planting season. When she stumbled up to the cottage, Kylar sagged against the door. “Neph!” She called, gasping for air. “Neph I need you!” “my sin, my soul.”

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@Nephele

Trigger warning: Panic attack

W

ord of the protests and violence had reached the lowlands by the following morning. Kylar's absence during the night had been worrying, but Nephele had forced a smile on her face and assured herself that any moment Kylar would walk through the door and tell her about what a crazy night she'd had. They'd laugh about it and curl up together like they always did. Everything would be fine. The creeping fear spiralled into despair when her patients gossiped about the unrest sweeping through Rionna. Nephele held her breath, stifling a gasp that was desperate to be free. She excused herself from her work and closed the clinic up, trying to stop her body from trembling. She mustn't worry Anthe. The last thing she wanted to do was to cause her daughter any undue stress. Not when she was only just starting to recover from her chronic illness.

She headed out into Melrose, asking anyone if they had seen Kylar recently and with each no she felt her composure breaking. The thought of Kylar lying stiff and cold somewhere in Rionna hit her with the full force of a gut punch and she hunched over, stomach heaving up bile. On shaky legs she wobbled back inside the cottage and sank into their nest. She couldn't hold it back any longer. All her fear, her despair and anguish broke her down. It was getting hard to breathe. Her ribs felt like they were being squeezed by a vice. She let out frantic gasps like she was suffocating. Her heart pounded like a drum, hard enough that she was afraid it might burst out of her chest. Have to stop. Need to calm down, she thought, realising what was happening to her. Slowly, but surely the panic was reigned in and she could breathe again.

The sun set a second time and Nephele returned to an empty nest again. She finally allowed herself to cry, burrowing her face into Kylar's side of their nest where her smell was the strongest. She didn't sleep. By the time the sun was up her eyelids were raw from her tears and her throat felt like sandpaper.

A thud against the door made her flinch and she huddled away, fearing for a moment that the violence had reached the lowlands. "Neph!" A voice that her heart had longed to hear cried out. “Neph I need you!” She scrambled to her paws, knocking over several objects before she reached the door. "Ky.. " she breathed out, immensely relieved that her wife was back home and terribly afraid that she was hurt. "Let's get you inside. I'll bring you some water," she gently nudged at her insistently, trying to keep herself calm despite her rising panic. Something was seriously wrong and she was terrified of what it might be.

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

Nephele looked almost as haggard as she with dark rings beneath her eyes, and yet she had never seemed more beautiful. The sight of her, more or less well, caused fresh tears to well up within her eyes. Tears of relief, of regret for having left, and simultaneously of thanks that at least she had been there so that she knew. Despite the mud on her paws, she moved to pull her wife into a tight hug, squeezing with what little strength she had left. The scent of Neph—of the cottage, the garden, Anthe's medicine—only reinforced the fact that she was home. That they could fix this. Together. “Water can wait,” she panted, her nose still burrowed into the fur along the back of her wife's neck. Kylar could only imagine what she smelled like: travel dust, sweat, plains and rivers. It reminded her of the state she'd been in when she had first found Nephele. But rather than starting a new beginning together, they were now tasked with trying to maintain the little family that they had already built. “Willow is in jail,” Kylar breathed, her voice barely above a whisper. “She fought in the protest—I saw her be sentenced—” Her voice began to crack and a tremble ran through her. “The judge tried Willow for incapacitating a soldier. She's been sentenced to the whole season of spring down in Yorkshire." Kylar shook, the words finally making it all seem real. “What did she do? What do we do?” She lamented, fresh tears springing to her eyes. “my sin, my soul.”

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@Nephele

N

ephele longed to fall into Kylar's arms and tell her how relieved she was that she was okay. She held back and gently returned the embrace, knowing that Ky would be exhausted from spending days away from home. There was still a sense of urgency, of wanting to know everything that had happened while they'd been apart, but she patiently waited for Kylar to tell her herself. Her anxiety was restrained for the moment, wanting only to catch up on lost kisses and hugs. "Water can wait," Kylar insisted, and Nephele made a grumble of protest and nudged her insistently. "But, Ky. You're exhausted," she whined softly, unable to resist the urge to take care of her. The urge was replaced with a thorn sharp claw of fear that hooked into her heart and shredded it to pieces when Kylar made a dreadful admission.

"Willow is in jail,"

"What?!" Nephele blurted out, clamping her jaw shut so that she didn't interrupt. "She fought in the protest," "No," Nephele feebly denied. “The judge tried Willow for incapacitating a soldier," "No!" she yelped as if pained, shaking her head fiercely as if it would take away what Kylar had said. "They're wrong. It's a mistake. Willow wouldn't- She couldn't- She's- She's a good girl," she cried, feeling the panic rise again. Thoughts of their daughter in the dungeon for an entire season. She wasn't a criminal. She didn't belong there. Nephele wanted to cry, to scream and beg.

"She can't stay there. She's not a criminal. Ky… We have to get her out," she whimpered, sniffling into her wife's fur.

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

Kylar was exhausted. In fact, she had never felt more weary than in this moment, save for when Anteros had found her starving as a yearling. However, holding Nephele gave her strength. She could feel her heartrate dropping instantly the longer she held on and, even against her wife's protests, Kylar just shook her head. “Later,” she murmured, burrowing her nose in Nephele's black and white fur. “Just let me hold onto you for a second longer.” Kylar needed the strength that Nephele's presence gave her in order to share this desperate news. And she wanted to be able to offer Neph that same support when Kylar voiced the news of Willow's incarceration. As expected, Nephele was horrified. Kylar whinced as Nephele yelped, her outcry ringing in Ky's ears. "They're wrong. It's a mistake. Willow wouldn't- She couldn't- She's- She's a good girl," came Neph's feverish response and Kylar felt fresh tears well within her eyes. Tightly, she squeezed her wife. She found hope in Nephele's strong indignation. Having been there in the courtroom, Kylar had felt her resolve shake. But hearing Neph's adamant refusal seemed to bring Ky back to her senses. No, no. Willow couldn't have. Wouldn't have. Nephele was right. "She can't stay there. She's not a criminal. Ky… We have to get her out," Neph sniffled and Kylar nodded, pressing a kiss to her wife's brow. “We'll get her out,” Kylar promised, wracking her brain for what they could possibly do. Appeal the judge? Hire a lawyer? ... Bribe a soldier? The thought nauseated her but, in her gut, struck her as the fastest option. But it was illegal. Again, she pictured Willow sobbing in the courtroom before the judge. “I...” Kylar swallowed, steeling herself to suggest something illegal. “...can ask Anteros for money. It'd be the fastest way if we could find a dirty jailer to bribe.” “my sin, my soul.”

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@Nephele

N

ephele relented from her fussing when Kylar insisted she just wanted to hold her for a while longer. The little nurse let out a sigh, releasing some of the pent up stress that had been buzzing around inside during her wife's absence. Part of her hoped that the worst was over now that Kylar was safe and in her arms again. She knew it was too good to be true. Why else was Kylar behaving so oddly?

Her desperate protests of Willow's innocence were futile. There wasn't a judge for her to plead with. She couldn't throw herself at their mercy and beg them to save their daughter. It was up to both mothers to decide what to do. Kylar was the first to make a suggestion. It was one that made Nephele's heart quiver with fear. Not because of Anteros, but because it was illegal and potentially dangerous. There was no avenue that she wouldn't consider if it meant Willow would be out in the sun again. Though she considered Anteros and her brow furrowed with worry. "I'm scared, Ky. This- It's scary. I'll do whatever to save Willow, but .. please be safe," she sighed softly, pushing her nose into Kylar's neck. "Are you sure about Anteros? I-I don't want you to get hurt again," she asked, voicing her concerns about approaching him for coin to bribe a prison guard. It was all happening so quickly and she felt like she was too slow to catch up with everything

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

@Kylar

Nephele's shaky whispers caused Kylar to look at her wife fully for the first time since stepping into their home. She glanced down at Neph's black and white coat and saw, with a sinking sensation in her stomach, that the fur was touseled and greasy. Kyalr swallowed yet found little relief for her mouth was as dry as her throat. Turning her head, Kylar's ruby gaze softened with concern—not just for Willow but for her wife as well. Fear. It hung in the air and radiated off of both of them. Fear for their daughters, for their son that never wrote home, for their own health. Nephele was right, this was all scary. Every single part of it. "Are you sure about Anteros? I-I don't want you to get hurt again." Pulling back, Kylar searched Nephele's face. Then, gently, she pressed her nose to Neph's chest in their classic sign of I love you. “I'm sure, you and Willow give me strength,” she murmured. “But what about you?” Worry made her lips turn down into a frown. “You don't look well... have you been okay?” “my sin, my soul.”

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@Nephele

N

ephele wished that she could do more for her wife and their daughter in her time of need. Maybe if the clinic was more successful or if she was a better nurse she could have earned enough to save Willow herself. It was a foolish thought. As modest as their earnings were, Nephele wouldn’t change either of their jobs because they loved doing them. It was a tough pill to swallow that they would have to rely on someone else, Kylar’s ex no less, to get the funding for an escape. She hoped that it would at least bring Kylar and Anteros the closure they both needed to move on from the pain.

”I’ll be okay now that I know you’re safe,” she assured her, leaning over to touch her wife. Warm, solid and here. It was all she needed to make the past few days feel like nothing, but a bad dream. ”And better when Willow is free,” she added, smiling meekly. ”We can do this Ky. For her,” she spoke with more confidence than she felt, giving herself a push to stop hesitating and do what needed to be done.

Exit?

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

@Kylar