fish for thought

[This thread happens after the contest, but before he throws up on Lenora.]

C

onsuming so many fish was probably not the best idea - especially when he did not particularly care for the taste of them... scales and all. Before he had agreed to partake in the contest, she had found him. Rayne. Seeing her, smelling her, hearing her - it was a beautiful dream wrapped in a terrible nightmare. She had been the reason he had cried himself to sleep for so many nights. She was the reason he felt the need to go home to his mother. She was the reason he wanted to give up on life, give up on love, and doing anything in his life. After walking down from the stage in shame, he found her in the crowd again. She was away from him, but he could see her, and he could easily make his way to her. But would it be good to do so? He had been told by his father to get the closure he needed, to not give up in everything. He wanted to make Argent proud, not that he would really know what he was doing - but it counted for something. Riften was an adult now, and it was important for him to behave like one.

He marched up to Rayne, sliding between the different bodies as he locked his eyes on her perfect form. His heart was racing a millions miles a minute, and luckily it was able to stop the vomit feeling from surfacing. She was so close, he could almost reach out and touch her. "Rayne..." he cleared his throat. "Rayne." he said a little louder, in case she didn't hear him over the loud noises that enclosed around them. He could hear the blood rushing through his head, and his skin was hot to the touch. Riften looked over her, remembering how he had felt about her from the moment she saved his life. He was enamored then, and thought it would be hopeless to try and get over her. But then he recalled the moment he realized he meant nothing to her. "I need to talk to you, please?" he asked softly.

"First off, I want to thank you or apologizing to me..." he was a little taken back with that display and he really didn't know what else to say about it. It wasn't the full apology, but it was a start, and maybe she would finish it up. "I really did care for you. You became a very important individual in my life. You still are..." he stumbled over his words, and almost allowed the word vomit to swallow him whole. "I mean, it would be really hard to forget someone like you, to just drop all the memories of you in the trash - near impossible. Even when you are away, I can hear your voice, I smell your scent. It is the strongest I have smelled it in a long while.." the rambling of the nervous boy took over and he knew he needed to regain his composure.

@Rayne

code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

"Rayne!"

She heard her name on the wind and tilted her chin over her shoulder.

"Rayne!"

She stopped her trot across the parade fields to turn and face Riften. She hadn't expected him to follow her; she had thought he might still be angry and want nothing to do with her. There was such a gray area between them that she didn’t know what to expect when they met again after such a long time. He seemed different, though she could tell he was slightly nervous as he began to speak. She listened, making sure not to interrupt until he finished. Rayne did her best to soak it all in and set her emotions aside for the moment, pushing Reuben to the back of her mind so she could focus on the bard.

"Riften, truthfully, I didn’t know you felt that way about me. I didn’t know you felt anything for me until I saw you look at me with such horror. It made me feel guilty and confused, but I can see now why you reacted like that." A long sigh escaped her, though her chest felt constricted. If there was one position she didn’t want to be in, it was this one—caught between Reuben and Riften. A man who had lied to her but whom she had fallen for, and a young man who was willing to give her all of himself, truthfully and honestly, though she hadn’t had the chance to reciprocate those feelings. "I didn’t know that by saving you in the war, you would have come to feel these emotions, though I wouldn’t change it. I wouldn’t let you suffer at the hands of those who wished only death upon you." She shook her head softly, her gentle paw reaching out to place on his shoulder. Rayne didn’t want to hurt him then, and not now, and to be honest, she didn’t know how to move forward from any of this.

"You don’t owe me anything, but I’m glad I got to meet you through the experience. You’re good, Riften; you have a warm heart." But did she? Rayne didn’t want to touch on what had happened between her and Reuben, and for a moment, she almost did. Maybe if she left things as they were, he would assume she was still with Reuben and be able to move on from his feelings for her. The last thing she wanted was to hurt him again.

code // art

B

eing so close to Rayne right now was tough. She was so beautiful and he could easily find himself falling back in love with her. But this was not supposed to be a re-opening of the wounds he had suffered. No, this was the closure he needed. She needed to know the truth - the whole truth - just of what she was giving up. The truth of what she was walking away from. "My father always told me to follow my heart, as he did my other siblings. My brother is going to college to become a lawyer. My sister enlisted herself in the Imperial Army. I did not have the same passions as them. I never will. I am not meant for either of those worlds." He looked over her, his ears resting on his head. This was a somber time for him, and he felt terrible to be spilling his guts to her in this way, in such a public area. Anybody could hear them if they really wanted to. "I will always be thankful to you for saving my life. A part of my heart will always be with you... I loved you Rayne... Did you even know him? The black wolf? Do you love him?"

It was not his place to ask such things, he knew that. But he wanted to know, it almost felt like he needed to know. This was part of the closure right? She looked very happy with that male. Maybe she was happy now? If she was truly happy, he could be fine with that. He was happy for her. As her paw touched his shoulder, he could feel his heart thumping quickly. Luckily the sounds of the parade should cover them from her being able to hear it. "Rayne. In another life, I could have made you happy. I would have given you the world. I... I just want you to know that." He couldn't stop the words from coming out of him - the poor helpless romantic. She was his real first true love, even if it had only been one sided. He looked at her, the same way that he had seen Argent looking at Merrin for years. To him it was real, it was not some fantasy.

@Rayne

code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

'I loved you, Rayne.'

The words struck Rayne like a physical blow, a painful reminder of everything she had gone through so far. She felt a knot form in her throat. How could he love her when he knew so little about her? She blinked back at him, struggling to find the response she so desperately needed to cling to. Rayne didn’t love him—she thought he was a good person, but only as a friend. Did this make her any better than Reuben? No. Reuben knew what he was doing, whereas Rayne had never misled Riften into believing in something more. Her only crime was to treat him with the respect and honor he deserved.

“Reuben,” she said softly, though the name still left a bitter taste in her mouth. Did she love him? Her eyes wandered over Riften’s as her brows furrowed, forcing her to confront a painful truth and answer a difficult question. “I fear so,” she managed, tearing her gaze from him and settling it on the floor. “But he hurt me. He claims he didn’t mean to, but I don’t know.” She shrugged, and finally found the strength to meet his eyes again. “We all have choices, you know. Choices to make good or bad decisions. He didn’t really consider the consequences of his actions while making his bad ones.” Rayne inhaled sharply, letting the breath slowly trickle into the crisp air.

'Rayne. In another life, I could have made you happy. I would have given you the world. I... I just want you to know that.'

She managed a soft smile as she approached him, wrapping her arms around his neck in an embrace. “I don’t doubt it,” she said, her voice gentle. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and for that, she couldn’t blame him, though she couldn’t reciprocate his feelings. “It will all work out, I’m sure. I am sorry though that I hurt you, again, it was never my intention.” She said as she pulled away from him, offering a final, soft nod.

Rayne knew her time here was coming to an end. There was nothing more to share, nor did she want to hear more from him that would essentially only cause her to feel worse. She was still picking up the shattered pieces of her own heart scattered across the floor, trying to piece them together in the same manner they rested before Reuben.

With another soft smile, she turned away from Riften, understanding that this was the moment he needed to heal from her, just as she needed to heal from Reuben.

Exit Rayne

code // art

R

ayne had been kind to him through this exchange. Riften should have found a much better way to express himself to her and earlier than he had. This all could have been avoided. But what had happened was now just working to repair from the damages dealt. She didn't mean to hurt him, and she was hurt by this Reuben fellow. The black wolf with the soulless eyes. "I am sorry you also got hurt, Rayne." He felt like she deserved an apology, even though he was not the one to be causing her heart to ache. Riften felt as though Reuben would never truly apologize for the pain he caused her. He was too selfish. Truth be told, he didn't know the guy, but anyone who could happily break her heart was a bad guy in Riften's book. Pulling him into an embrace, Riften closed his eyes and softly nuzzled his nose in her coat. He allowed a single arm to wrap around her as well. Time stood still. The long goodbye.

He held onto her until she pulled from him. There was nothing else that came to mind in the moment. She smiled to him and started to walk away. That chapter had closed. His first love. Riften hoped it would not be his last. "Thank you," he mumbled softly. But he was unsure if she would hear him. Grey eyes watched her move through the crowd until he could see her no longer. Standing in silence, he thought to himself. His eyes saw everything and nothing around him. Shapes and colors moved by, sounds blurred to his ears. Then he saw the black wolf.

[Exit Riften to go get Reuben.]
@Rayne

code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck