Candlelight caused shadows to dance and flicker, leaping across the crumbling stone with grace that Lyra was envious of. To her, however, they were not performers—they were soldiers. Feinting, tumbling, dodging—each one living the life that she had been promised since birth. The life that she was no longer able to have.
Have now, Lyra reminded herself forcefully, recalling the discussion she had had with her mother over the weekend. For what had started out as a stilted, frosty stalemate had ended with Lyra, teary and tired, better understanding why she had been forcibly enrolled in the College as opposed to the army. However, it hadn't been anything new. Lyra had naively hoped that if she'd presented a good enough argument, she could sway her parents to overruling their original verdict. Alas, Nassar and Kvothe had remained firm. They would not risk her or Bast—not while the draft was in place and war loomed on the horizon. It would be too much.
If Kohl had not died, if Ahkoris had not gone missing, if.. if... if.. if only those answers were satisfying. Logically, Lyra was beginning to get it, little by little. Emotionally, she was bitter. Frustrated. But still acclimating. At least hearing Atlas' dreams for his future as a lawyer had softened her opinion of the College. His eyes had glowed with so much purpose and intentionality that Lyra couldn't help but feel inspired. Did it make her want to never join the army? No. But did it make her less inclined to cry into her pillow at night? It must have, as she had gone a week without feeling the need.
...
“Room 707..." Lyra echoed, looking up at the walls and their fading signs. She was looking for a TA's office hours for the fae & mythology class she was taking. While she was currently taking pre-requisite courses for a medical degree, Lyra had decided to minor in something casual. In truth, she wasn't trying to take it too seriously—she planned to leave this place the moment that she could.
But that still didn't stop her nature from trying to do her best. Try as she might to be as lazy as her sister, Lyra couldn't get over the guilt of not going to a posted office hour.
Nosing the old door open, she peered into the gloom and realized with a flush that she was the only student to arrive.
“Excuse me, is this for the first year class: 'the philosophy of wisps'?" Lyra's voice felt shy even to her own ears as she asked the wolf standing at the other side of the room, his back to her.
“You seemed to replace your brain with your heart ."
