[ P ] Good to see you again

She was tired. The funeral had gone well, all things considered. Ankh had burned away and when all that had been left was ash, she and Cairo had performed the final rites. With Ankh's ash upon their brows, they had exchanged places, just as Nassar and Ankh had once done. Now, the proverbial crown sat upon Nassar's head. Cairo was the crown princess amidst their ranks, and all that was left was to keep their family safe in the coming months. While this had always been a responsibility of hers, she felt it more fully now. Her six children were not her only concerns—although she was blessed to have Ahkoris returned to her. With the whole of the family looking to her for guidance, she had Khepri and Ismailia on her mind front and center as well. There were also other families, too, to consider. Relationships, expectations, quid pro quos. Agreements her mother had entered into that now were Nassar's responsibility to maintain or annul. It grated on her. And so she took a walk within the garden. From maternal leave to bereavement leave, Nassar now felt more at home in Rionna than at the barracks—and it unnerved her. She felt displaced from the matters of the state. And she felt... afraid. As if a dark cloud loomed in the horizon. Whispers of Jacob's return brought back bitter memories of Aileene's failed rebellion. Nassar's nightmares from war had started returning as well. And the screams of those lost still echoed within her skull as her nails tapped against the stone. But they were stronger now. She stopped at the fountain and stared into the beautiful, bright water as it burbled into the pool below. She had a husband to rely upon. All six children safe and healthy. And friends she could rely on—Kvothe's companion Luciel and Sybil and... Sif. The woman's dark fur caught her eye and she looked up, a wane smile on her face. “Come to take a walk as well?” “my sin, my soul.”

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@Sif

Sif Asgaut

Tail twitched and curled as she passed many on her way to the square, barely paying any mind to the lot of them but the further into the nooks the more prolific of individuals would catch her eye. She was out of her place here and yet she wore a mask among these wolves, her name decorated in falsity. With over half her life having been this way, it was easier to carry than it was when she was first granted freedom from his talons to play a part in the higher end of society. Freedom, the idea was humorous but she had made no attempt to truly run after all this time for reality in itself was twisted. The best she could do was focus on things outside of herself, which was becoming easier as of late when chaos played more onto others.

News was not hard to come by especially among nobles and shifts of power, and it was news that had carried her paws this way rather than more desired paths away from the masses.

Lone orb scanned the fountain, taking in the she-wolf standing near bathed in autumn hues. It seemed she had been noticed first as a faint smile painted their lips that almost felt as if a tiny dagger had cut her. “One could say that. Pondering the desires of others to see me back at my post because they miss my charming personality.” She gave a small smile of her own. “Their words, not mine. We both know the real reason they seek higher officers,” she added as she moved toward the older woman, her tail swaying calmly, hiding the apprehensiveness within her to approach. This was not work, she needed to ease that tension and desire to bark like an obedient hound to a superior. It was just so ingrained at this point, it felt like she was doing something wrong.

The faint image of Khol and now the weight of Ankh played on her mind as she soaked up the scene, pushing her own thoughts to the side to focus on her. This wasn’t just lost, to say she knew exactly the extent would be foolish, however. “I thought I’d find you here,” she said a bit more gently, closing the gap but not impeding on space either. A passing glance would scan the fountain before turning to the other, dipping her head in silent greeting and respect before settling a few steps away. Each motion was as fluent as the water that sparkled in front of them.

“My condolences,” ears pinned empathetically, no stranger to death. She would not fail a second time offering a shoulder should she need it. There was only a subtle invite should they need comfort in her gaze but bitterness would not be held if it was declined or ignored. Truth be told, she'd be relieved if it was, not the best at space being invaded, be it mentally or physically.

@Nassar

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“One could say that. Pondering the desires of others to see me back at my post because they miss my charming personality.” Dark ears twitched and Nassar nodded, although her brow did lift somewhat in mild surprise that wasn't quite well concealed. “Their words, not mine," came the almost immediate answer and the ghost of a smile curved the corner of Nassar's lips up. “You are known for the... sunshine that you bring to any post,” she offered, feeling oddly light in humor today. While Sif was more her daughter's friend than her own, Nassar felt oddly comforted by the young woman's companionship. She was a mother as well, something that could not be said of most within Nassar's circle. Many women that devoted their lives to the army did not care to abandon their post for the sake of having a family. While Nassar felt differently—and most certainly acted differently—her choices had come with their fair share of challenges. And a demotion, but she tried not to dwell on that. At Sif's next words, Nassar canted her head to the side slightly in the form of a silent question. Thankfully, Sif's answer came quickly this time as well: “My condolences." Ah. Nassar's brow creased and her smile became bittersweet. “Thank you—I appreciate it.” She closed her eyes for a moment, sucked in an invigorating breath of air, before turning to catch Sif's gaze. “You'd think the grief would be the worst part of it—but my mother did me a small favor. A part of me loathed her and that has made it easier, the relief that is.” Why was she telling this to Sif? She wasn't sure... but it was a secret she had kept from her family for fear of seeming cold. “I worry about my brother though. He was always the soft one, forgiving.” Ah, but wait, did Sif even know that she had a brother? “Khepri. I imagine you haven't met him, he was exiled from our family so long ago by the late matriarch.” “my sin, my soul.”

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@Sif

Sif Asgaut

The slight confusion that played on the older woman’s face seemed swiftly satisfied upon her clarification that it wasn’t her own words, though a mild bit of surprise played along her own visage as a joke was returned at her expense. Truth be told it helped ease some of the uncertainty that plagued her mind, tension in her shoulder lessening as they relaxed in the other’s company. Equal footing rested between them right now. “Oh, what about the rainbows? Can’t forget those,” she huffed just a little bit with a reserved smile though a little looser. She wouldn’t dwell on that any further, though, unless Nassar decided to pull on the strings to further it. It was apparent the other didn’t wish to speak of wars or anything alike as she said nothing on that topic. Instead, she’d do her best to shift her attention onto the true matter she came for even if she had wished for a little advice on the prior subject. She’d just keep to her heart and her heart wasn’t on the frontline anymore, unless she had to keep those dear to her safe. For now.

She gave a gentle nod at the appreciation; not that offering condolences did much of anything besides let the other know she was here for her, though she didn’t feel like the words reflected the others expression. Watching her for a few moments, taking in how the autumn woman was gathering themselves and maybe she had been premature in her assumption. It looked like she was suffering, if not a little lost before dual embers caught her own.

Expectations would be shattered upon the next words, her gaze locked onto the other as she took in every word, not thinking such a vent would kiss her ears. It was personal, there was no doubt in that as it was stacked onto her shoulders without a second thought in the matter as far as she could tell. No words would form just yet, it seemed they weren’t done as a name caused her ears to perk up against her wishes. Khepri. That man, she couldn’t get away from him but the more she spoke the more it made one thing clear. He didn’t lie.

“So I’ve heard, in great depth actually,” she shook her head with the smallest chuckle, looking up at the sky for a moment as she became a bit more somber. He mentioned them having a sister as well. “You know, I doubted him when he told me he was a Tiamat? Especially as your brother but now I see the resemblance. There is no denying that now. You two mourn in the same way; telling me how much you loathe the late matriarch,” she breathed, tilting her head a little to the side to look over at the other. She would refrain from saying the harsher part of her thoughts, one Khepri hadn’t taken very well until she relented with setting her own distaste aside. She couldn’t understand it really, knowing her own mother to be rather harsh but she had embraced that part of her. There was no fathoming resenting her as they did their own mother.

Closing her eye for a moment, she let out a sigh, recalling how Khepri behaved, how she felt like he was trying to vent that frustration out of her. Wanting her to banish him as well from her company and yet she hadn’t. In the end she accepted him, and it wasn't the easiest feat for her. “I met Khepri the same day Khol…left us. He was my doctor, but only recently did I learn of his connection to you,” she was hesitant to add as she turned the eye she lost during the war toward Nassar, not wanting to open any more scars but it was inevitable Kohl would be mentioned eventually in one way or another.

@Nassar

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Within the army, Nassar's closest friends were Sybil and Kvothe. Her husband, naturally, was an important support of hers—especially with Nalik occupying a position of authority. The mere thought of the man caused her ear to flick as if swatting away a fly. Sybil started as the most reliable soldier within her unit. Through various tours and patrols, Nassar had come to appreciate Sybil's opinion and instincts, even in matters beyond simply the task at hand. And that was it. Everyone else she kept at a distance. Merrin had been approaching that short list little by little but, after having her children, had chosen not to return. Nassar respected that without question. Still, at times, she did feel... lonely? Perhaps that was too strong of a word but she did enjoy this idle chatter with Sif. When the conversation turned to her brother, Nassar couldn't help but quirk a brow. They knew eachother? This was a connection she would not have guessed. "...You two mourn in the same way; telling me how much you loathe the late matriarch." At that, Nassar couldn't help but laugh. Her voice did hold notes of sadness, but she didn't miss the humor in it. “For Khepri that's to be expected. But do keep my loathing a secret,” Nassar mused in answer. Internally, she was glad to hear that someone found the Tiamat resemblance in Khepri—even if it was through something silly. All his life, he had been told that he wasn't one of them. What he needed most was another soul that found ways to convince him that he did belong. Here, everywhere. To Nassar, Khepri is a beautiful soul—a wonderful brother and a devoted friend. She just wished that her words were enough to convince him of that. Her next impulse was to question Sif on the how of her relationship with Nassar's brother, but that was quickly answered as well. “I met Khepri the same day Khol…left us. He was my doctor, but only recently did I learn of his connection to you." Nassar's brow knit for a moment, sympathy softening her amber gaze as she took in Sif's injury. She was silent for a moment in reverence to Kohl's death. “I am glad that you could be here with us today,” was her response at last before she breathed out a sigh and offered a small smile. “Be sure to remind Khepri that he saved your life. At times I think our mother's constant insulting convinced him that he could do nothing right.” - exit in casual chatting fade? - “my sin, my soul.”

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@Sif

Sif Asgaut

She was surprised by her request that sounded more like she was joking but at the same time, she was certain the chuckling wasn’t meant for comedic effect. “Your secret is safe with me, Nassar,” she said with a small nod, seeing no reason she would tell anyone. If anything she was just curious what extent it all ran.

She would only smile back at the part of her being here today. There were so many times she wished that day had been her own end as well but to fight was to survive. There was no giving up, never in the past and that wasn’t to change for the future. The next comment would make her raise a brow, however.

“He won’t listen,” she mused, having already told him he didn’t fail at being a doctor just because he couldn’t save her eye as well. Though he did not rebuke it, he certainly didn’t seem happy to hear her say it. She remembered how his gaze would become so pained just from looking at her face, but in truth she felt like it wasn’t solely her that made him fall so swiftly. Her thoughts wouldn’t linger on the death of his wife for long, not about to bring that up into conversation. She was not so nosy as to prod for a history then, so why would she do so now.

Instead, she continued to reflect on other parts of Khepri, her shoulders starting to loosen some. She recalled a different day than their last encounter. “What are his faults are also his greatest strengths. He’s more resilient than either of you give him credit for. He’s persistent to a fault, else he wouldn’t still be putting up with me. He is quick to try to pick up someone that has fallen further than he has, wanting to put them back together even if he falls further apart in the process,” she paused, internally shuddering at the thought of that ghost in the forest. That man that tortured her so much and left her with a gift she both cherished and wanted to run from. Khepri had confirmed he saw him too that day, that it wasn’t one of her countless nightmares she lived with every night.

It took her a second to shake the feeling in her body, that static she was too familiar with that would keep her frozen in place. She was glad as she came back to the present and found her face was no longer pointed in Nassar’s direction, that the older woman wouldn’t see the thousand yard stare Aurora often would bring up every time she wouldn’t answer questions about the father that girl never needed to know the truth about. “And he’ll protect you from demons, if he is afraid of losing you to them. He’s stronger than you know,” she said with a small warm smile, hiding the broken feeling she had, trying to replace it with the same vision of the man that kept trying to keep her whole. That stood when she couldn’t, yet she had pushed away time and time again.

“He doesn’t need our worry; he needs acceptance and a step forward instead of back… so he can accept himself too,” she finally turned her head to Nassar again. Feeling only minor embarrassment at all the words that came to her lips, but they were the truth, and she wouldn’t take any of it back.

[Thread End - fade to chatter]

@Nassar

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